Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Oops, They Broke Up

Last night when I was outside laying in wait for the chipmunk that I plan to kill one of these days, I happened to notice the self proclaimed faith healer neighbor sitting on a kitchen chair in the middle of her driveway, shaving her chin with a disposable razor, while talking on the phone and crying. First off let me say, that is probably the longest run-on sentence known to man (or woman). But I digress. Being of a nosy nature, of course I had to trot right on over there to see what was the matter. The things I do to entertain myself…sigh… Well it seems that Deb was on the phone with her sons girlfriend. Actually her sons EX-girlfriend. Her son had dumped his girlfriend the night before. Deb hangs up when she sees me coming over, then meets me halfway. Bursts into crocodile tears and hugs me, trying to extract some semblance of comfort. Between sobs she tells the story of how he dumped his girlfriend and she had been on the phone with the girlfriend all night, until 4am, crying. Deb was so upset I thought SHE had dumped. She sobbed that her son had been going with this girl for 3 years, 2 months and 5 days. “How could he dump her after all those years?” she bawled. I patted her on the back and told her it would work out for the best in the end. She goes on to tell me how she is not speaking to her son until he takes this girl back, and she has her daughter not speaking to him either. Yes, Ms. Super Christian is promoting discord between siblings just so she can force him to be with whom she wants him to be with. Do you hear it? The cuckoo alert? I hear it loud and clear!

This is my last week of leisure. Yes, I’d better sleep in while I can because starting this Monday I am watching my 6 year old (soon to be 7) granddaughter from 8am until 5:30pm each and every weekday during the summer. In one respect I am excited about it. Just think of all of the cool things we can do. Crafts to be made, cookies to bake, museums to tour, shoes to be bought (she has a shoe addiction too). Then I think of all the energy one needs to have in order to be able to keep up with a 6 (almost 7) year old. I have to admit, I have less energy than an eighty year old. Seriously! I’m telling you, the senior set could run circles around me these days. Maybe Jas will give me the motivation and willpower to get out there and exercise so my energy level will increase. Yeah…right… Ha ha.
posted by Daisy Martin at 4:53 PM | Permalink | 2 comments
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Oops, Another Race Day Weekend

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It’s raining today. It rains almost every year on this weekend. This is Race day weekend. Indianapolis’s premier event, the Indy 500. How I hate the Indy 500. If you think the high pitched sound of race cars zipping around a track is music to your ears, you might be a Hoosier. Not being a born and bred Hoosier, I think the sound of engines racing is just plain annoying. If I see another back and white checked flag in this town I will puke. The only part about the weekend that I remotely enjoy is the sight of fighter jets flying over my house as they buzz the raceway signaling the start of the race. Amazing when you consider that I live 25 miles from the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not basing my hatred for racing on channel surfing on TV. I’ve actually been to the race and that is what put me off racing for the rest of my natural life. My husband thrives on all things race related. I don’t see the attraction myself. This is one of those days each year that I don’t mind doing the laundry. Because it sure beats watching the race. Don’t tell any Hoosier’s that I said this, because they would kick me out of Indiana for it.

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I am still dog sitting my son’s dog Chloe. She is the one who had the “procedure” done last Thursday. She is starting to eat, barely. The operation took away her appetite. She wouldn’t eat or drink until just last night and even then not much. So I have been trying to coax her appetite along with little treats. I knew she liked cheese so I bought some domestic Colby for her. She sniffed it and turned away. Then I brought out the expensive imported cheese that I like to eat. I cut myself a little wedge and arranged it on a plate with some fruit and crackers. I settle down in front of the TV to watch a movie with the hubster and here comes little miss ‘no appetite’ begging for a morsel of imported cheese. Yes, she won’t eat domestic cheese but she will rip your throat out for a morsel of imported cheese. So I fed this dog my special $17.99 per lb imported cheese. And I found something else she will eat; steak. Last night was steak night and guess who was begging for a piece. Yes I gave in. I’m such an easy mark. I hope her appetite returns soon because she has eaten her way through almost all of my imported cheese.

(Myrtle Beach, SC - May 2006)

In addition to this being Race Day weekend, it is almost Memorial Day. This time weekend last year we had just returned home from our Southern vacation. We had gone to Charleston SC and Myrtle Beach SC. We also decided to begin our search for the hubster’s father’s WWII records on this day a year ago. It’s amazing when I stop to think about all that we have discovered about the hubster’s father in 1 short year. We met with men who knew him in WWII. We corresponded with other men who knew him then as well. We attended our first WWII Navy reunion for the USS Bell DD587. (The first of many) We learned about the hubster’s father’s best friend whose widow lives 45 minutes from us. This Memorial Day has a special meaning to us because of all of the research we have done over the past year. If you want to see some of our journey it is dialoged on a website at: http://dadsnavydays.blogspot.com/ This weekend I also think of my son in law, currently sitting in a sand pit in hell. And of my daughter who sits alone on foreign soil, away from all of her family, while she waits for her soldier to return. My heart is heavy as I think of all the sacrifices people have to make all in the name of war. Maybe I should stop watching all those War movies on TCM and AMC this weekend. Happy Memorial Day!
posted by Daisy Martin at 4:06 PM | Permalink | 3 comments
Friday, May 25, 2007
Oops, It’s A Dogs Life

This past winter my eldest son’s dog stayed with us several months. She is half Shar pei and half pit bull. I formed quite a bond with her, which still exists. Yesterday she was spayed. Instead of going to my son’s house, where several other dogs reside, it was agreed that my house would be the best place for her to convalesce. It didn’t start out well however. Within the first 30 minutes she was retching her guts up all over my cream colored carpet. Then the other end started running, of you know what I mean. Needless to say, it has been an exhausting 24 hours. She hasn’t eaten since the operation so I have been making little things to try and tempt her. I even cooked her a scrambled egg this morning. She did eat 2 bites of it, but that was all she could force down. I feel so sorry for her and wish I could take her pain away. I guess no one ever warned her a dog’s life wasn’t an easy life. Poor little thing.

I had some excitement today to get my Memorial Day weekend started off right. I got the dummy copy of my book, Cooking With Friends, in the mail today! I admit, I did scream so loudly that I scared the dogs, and I did almost pee in my pants. It was extremely exciting! (the getting of the book that is, not the almost peeing in my pants part). It never seems real until you hold your baby in your hands. I held it, I hugged it, I sniffed it and I almost licked it. I felt like I had given birth and in a way I suppose I had. After I was finally able to stop screaming I drove to my husbands office to show him the book. Everyone in the office had to have a look of course, but I didn’t mind that a bit. I felt like a new mommy showing off her cute little brand new baby. The owner of my husbands company told me to give him 12 copies to sell in his store. He said he would put a sign next to it that said “Local author”. I may actually do that. It’s all so exciting. I can tell you for sure that we will be celebrating tonight.
posted by Daisy Martin at 12:19 PM | Permalink | 5 comments
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Oops, It’s Time To Rumble

There is going to be a fight, and it’s not going to be pretty. But once you’ve made Daisy mad, well you’ve done it! And l gotta tell you, Daisy is rip-roaring mad! It all started Tuesday night. The self proclaimed faith healer neighbor and her annoying 11 year old daughter saw me watering my flowers in the front yard and came over to make my life a living hell. So as we are sitting on lawn chairs chatting the daughter looks over at my flower bed and says “what is that?” I get up to look and darn if it isn’t that drated chipmunk that keeps eating my flower bulbs. And guess what his cheeks were stuffed with? Oh it was on! So we all take off running after the chipmunk. He ends up running under the fence into our backyard right next to my stupid dog who merely stands there with a puzzled look on his face, wondering why we were all running. He didn’t even realize a chipmunk had run right between his legs. Mr. chipmunk was fortunate to live to see another day.

On Wednesday the hubster and I were going to take our granddaughter Jas to the movies to see Shrek 3, so I pick her up from school. She and I sit on the lawn chairs in the front yard while we wait for the hubster, and I tell her the story of the chipmunk. And as I am telling her the story we happen to glance over at the flower bed and who do you think was sitting right in the middle of the impatients? That darn chipmunk! And I tell you, he was mocking me! Jas and I run after him but he was too fast. We’ll be keeping an eye peeled for him so he may want to find a new yard to live in, cause I am ready to rumble!

And speaking of Shrek 3, it was a funny, cute movie. I definitely recommend it. But then again I really like cartoons, so take what you will from that. I have to say though, the theater that we went to view the movie at was being overly optimistic. They had a viewing of Shrek 3 starting every 15 minutes. There were only 2 other people in the theater with us at our showing of the movie. I think they could have done with a few less showings. Still, I really enjoyed it, and so did Jas and the hubster. And most important of all, the popcorn was good!
posted by Daisy Martin at 2:28 PM | Permalink | 3 comments
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Oops, She’s A Second Gwader

My granddaughter Jas informed me that she has only one week left of school before summer vacation begins. We were sitting on lawn chairs enjoying the spring day. She turns to me with a serious look on her face and asks “How does it feel to be the Gwanma of an almost second gwader? Did you ever think you would have a gwandaughter in the second gwade Gwanma? I bet you’re excited, aren’t you?” I didn’t have the heart to tell her it just made me feel old.

As a summer treat the hubster and I are taking Jas on a mini road trip in the middle of June. We had previously planned on flying to Canada to visit a friend, but a financial set-back put a monkey wrench in those plans. So we are doing the next best thing and taking Jas for her first southern vacation for a week in the middle of June. So if you know anything about the Carolina Beach NC, Wilmington NC, Charleston SC and Savannah Georgia areas drop me an email and let me know the insider scoop. We were able to get an outstanding deal on a hotel room in Carolina Beach NC. Actually it is a suite if truth be told. You can view the actual room on their website at the Atlantic Towers. They have the cutest little alcove with bunk beds for Jas. And our room will be over looking the beach. You know it’s coming, right? The downside. And of course with my luck there is always a downside. They assign your room number when you make your reservation. What’s our room number? No, it’s not on the thirteen floor. Our room number is 911. Should I be worried? I always worry so of course I should worry about this possibly being a string of bad luck. Maybe I’ll take a vacation from worry this trip though.

If anyone has recommendations on a nice hotel to stay at in Charleston SC or Savannah drop me an email.
posted by Daisy Martin at 5:07 PM | Permalink | 3 comments
Monday, May 21, 2007
Oops, I’m an Author

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Mark this day on your calendar. Because today is the day I became a published author!!! Actually several of you became published authors right along with me. Yes, Cooking With Friends was sent to the publisher today. I should get my copy in the mail in 3 – 5 days according to the publisher. It will take about 2 weeks for it to be available in stores like Borders or at Amazon.com. I have to wait for the ISBN number to be assigned and that is why it takes 2 weeks for stores to get it And actually the stores won't order it in unless you request it, except for Amazon.com. But you can't request it until the ISBN number is assigned. If you are like me and can't wait the 2 weeks to order it from your local bookstore, "Cooking with Friends" is available right now on the Lulu website at;


I want to thank everyone who made this book possible. You are all my co-authors. I have wanted to write this cookbook since I was Fifteen years old. I really appreciate all of you sending recipes, sending encouragement and just telling me that dreams do come true. (Yes, I stole your tag line Deb) Now I am ready to get back to work on the 2nd book (the no named romance novel) and the 3rd book (The sequel to Cooking with Friends) and who knows how many more. I feel I may have unleashed a monster. Be afraid, be very afraid!

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In between several rewrites today I found time to call the local health department on my pothead neighbor. They are sending an investigator out tomorrow morning to take pictures of the piles of garbage on the potheads patio. They will then send him a letter demanding that he correct the problem in a certain number of days and they will fine him. If he doesn’t correct the problem in the time limit they will send him another letter and another fine. Their reasoning is eventually he will be so sick of being fined that he will pick up his garbage.

As for the waist high grass problem, they told me to contact the local township trustee in regards to that. That person told me basically the same thing that the health department did. They will be sending the pothead letters and fines. But after 10 days if he has not cut the grass they will send a township employee to cut the grass and will not only give the pothead another fine but will also charge him for cutting the grass. Things could get real interesting around here in the next couple of weeks. I may want to move! I’m not a big fan of drama. Buy my house...please.
posted by Daisy Martin at 1:00 PM | Permalink | 9 comments
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Oops, Life In The Jungle

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I have been on a mini spending spree this weekend. Actually truth be told, I have shelled out a bare minimum of dollars as I lucked into some really good deals. Let it be known I am a Reebok gal through and through. Every Fall I buy a new pair of Reebok Princess style sneakers. They normally cost $39 to $49. Yesterday I went to a certain store and they had all of the Reebok Princess style shoes on sale for 50% off. So I was able to get they at $19.99 a pair. But it got better. They were also having a sale that if you bought one pair of athletic shoes you could get a second pair for $1. And to sweeten the deal even better I had a coupon allowing me to get 15% off of any one item. So in the long run I got two pairs of Reeboks for $18 or rather $9 a pair. Not a bad deal at all, eh? There is nothing a show addict likes better than a good shoe sale.

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The sales didn’t end in the shoe department though. I found the cutest garden statue in the lawn and garden department. I bought a flat of colorful flowers and planted them all around this pretty statue.

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While I was in the garden though, I happened to look over the fence at the next door neighbors back yard. I am so pissed! That pothead has not cut his grass in the back yard at all this season. In fact he has only cut his front yard once and it is getting almost as bad as his back yard now. I guess he doesn’t have the energy to cut his yard after sitting around smoking pot all day. Three guys live there though so you would think that one of them could manage to get out there and cut the jungle. They won’t have to worry about it much longer though because tomorrow I am contacting the health department and demanding something be done about it. What you aren’t seeing in the picture is the back patio piled high with household garbage. They haven’t paid for garbage pickup for several months so they merely toss it out the back door onto the patio. And you were thinking the self proclaimed faith healer neighbor was my nastiest neighbor. Hah!

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posted by Daisy Martin at 10:49 AM | Permalink | 4 comments
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Oops, Take My Neighbors, Please

Take my neighbors…please! I don’t want them anymore. Yesterday was annoying neighbor day here at Casa El Daisy. It started when my 6 year old granddaughter, Jas, and I were planting flowers in the afternoon. She wanted to play with the faith healer neighbors daughter and that was fine with me. But the faith healers daughter had plans on playing in my house so she could watch TV. I wasn’t having that because they are like roaches; once you get them in your house it is hard to get them out. So Jas and I set up a couple of lawn chairs in the front yard and they played out there. Who should come over but the stupid old faith healer. And even though I didn’t let them in the house I had a heck of a time getting rid of her. She is like a fungus that you just can’t seem to fully eradicate.

The faith healer neighbor was incensed that the city had the nerve to serve her with legal papers yesterday. It would seem that in the Eleven years that she and her family have lived in that house they have never paid the $23 monthly sewer fee. The city finally had enough and has sued them. They want Eleven years of sewer fees plus lawyers fees. All told it comes to $4800. An astronomical sum for someone that can’t even buy gas for their car and has to mooch it off others. So she called them and told them she would pay $20 a month until it was paid off. It would never get paid off at that rate because the monthly fee is $23! They tried to tell her that and she put them in their place and told them they were low man on the totem pole because they hadn’t paid property taxes since living in the house either and they were first in line. They have no mortgage since her mother bought their house outright for them. And they have no car payments since her mother bought her minivan for them. So please tell me – what the hell HAVE they paid? Apparently nothing.

My other neighbor run-in happened at 1:00am. I went to bed and I kept hearing music like from a car bumping outside. It was very annoying. Finally I realized it wasn’t music from a car, it was coming from next door where this pothead lives. I was pissed. I throw on some clothes and go out in the pouring rain at 1AM and bang on his door. He can’t (or won’t) hear me over the music. So I stood there and banged on his door for almost ten minutes until he opened it. He was stoned out of his mind. I told him to turn the music off and I further added that I would appreciate it if he would keep it low after 11pm. I was so mad, but I held my tongue for once. He knew I was mad though and he apologized. It should have never gotten to the point where I had to go out in the rain at 1am though. Damn I hate my neighbors! I really think we need to move out of this neighborhood!

But you know, while you are at it, take my husband too. He always complains that I treat him like a child because I am frequently having to go behind him and close doors, take his keys out of the front door, and other simpleton things like that. Well this morning my little boy couldn’t find his car keys. No problem, he just took the extra set of car keys that he had left on the garage floor two days ago. When he came home for lunch today we found his car keys alright. Oh yes, we found them. He had left them in the pathfinder in the ON position! Now I have a dead battery. Oh I am so pissed. I told him to go back to work and get out of my sight before I said something I would regret. It’s like being married to a fourteen year old boy that you have to constantly walk behind because his mind is blank. If my week keeps up like this I am going to have to call my doctor and tell him to put me on nerve pills! Good grief! So please, take my neighbor and my husband too.
posted by Daisy Martin at 9:54 AM | Permalink | 6 comments
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Oops, The Black Thumb of Death Returns

Last night I attended our monthly writers group meeting. As always I walked away inspired and ready to sit at the computer and write my little old heart out. I know the great American novel is in my fingertips, I just need to let it out. Last night we talked a bit about genres. My main problem with my no named romantic novel is that I still am not sure what genre I want it in. I heard of a new genre last night and it may fit in that particular genre; Romantica. I don’t know if that will allow my heroine to sleep around with the neighbors and her boss too as she has been doing, but it’s worth a shot. My heroine is quite the tart, the nasty girl! In fact, I had been thinking about changing my heroine’s boss’s job from a real estate agency owner to a fire fighter. What should I happen to see in the grocery store this morning? Some of Carmel Indiana’s finest firefighters. They all had these navy blue shorts on with these tight navy blue tee shirts. Sigh… Is it getting hot in here? Anyway, I couldn’t help it, I followed them around the store. It’s not my fault, I was doing research! I was!!! Or I could have been. Really!

After listening to other readers share some of their works last night I want to write a children’s book too. Ellen wrote the cutest children’s story which I am so jealous of. It was so cute and funny and the perfect book to read to your pre-school child. I could just hear myself reading it to my 6 year old granddaughter Jas and acting out the different parts. My problem is I want to write everything.

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Speaking of the granddaughter, today I am picking Jas up from school and spending the afternoon with her. I have decided we are going to exercise my black thumb of death and plant flowers. Jas brought me the cutest flowers on Sunday for Mothers Day so we are going to plant those, as well as some flowers I purchased this morning. I should start a pool on how long they will live. 1 day? 3 days? A week? Probably no longer than a week with my black thumb of death.
posted by Daisy Martin at 10:03 AM | Permalink | 4 comments
Friday, May 11, 2007
Oops, My Neighbor is Ignorant

Oh no, I did it again. Yup, I went out to lunch with the self proclaimed faith healer neighbor today. I must be out of my mind! By the end of the lunch I was ready to whack her upside the head with a plate at the all you can eat Chinese barf-ette. First she knocks on my door asking me to go out to lunch with her. I say yes and as I am walking out my front door she just walks over to my vehicle and climbs in the passenger seat. Note to self: start locking the car door at all times. She tells me as I drive that she wants to save her gas since they are so poor right now. I felt like telling her “well maybe you’d better eat lunch at home then”.

The real clincher was after lunch when she is talking. She tells me about her homosexual brother and sister. She has prayed for years that her brother’s relationship with his partner would end. It seems God finally answered her prayers by giving her brothers partner cancer in the breast and cancer “down there”. She proceeds to tell me how it is a sign from God that being gay is wrong and that is why God smote this poor man with a female cancer. WTF? Now don’t shoot the messenger but she goes on to tell me that the reason God gives women breast cancer is because they have been “loose”. I am sure my Aunt Mattie who died from breast cancer after only giving her self to one man (her husband) in her entire life would have been glad to hear that. What ignorance! Some of the things she believes floors me with the sheer ignorance of it.

For instance, she was telling me that God was teaching her brother a lesson by killing his partner because her brother made her sister gay by inviting her to a gay party when she was in her late teens. Apparently seeing all of the gay people at the party made her sister gay. Wow, I didn’t know gayness was contagious. Good to know. I tell you, my head is reeling with all of the rude, ignorant things that came out of her mouth today. I need to take some blood pressure medicine because listening to her spout her ignorance really raised my blood pressure. I should tell several breast cancer organizations about her views on why people get breast cancer, just so I can watch as they drive up to her house to beat the crap out of her.

And don’t ever tell the leech that you are expecting money. She was telling me about this man at their church who was recently granted permanent disability status and therefore is expecting a large disability check from Social Security. She said that she and her husband keep asking him if he received the check yet and the very day he does they are going to hit him up for some money. Her feeling is that God gave him that disability and thus that money to help her out. It’s all about her after all.

When we returned home she asks me if she can come in for a while, even though she sees that the Hubster is home. I pretended I didn’t hear her and damn if she didn’t just walk into the house. The hubster was smart – he left. Lucky guy! I wasn’t able to get rid of her until 3pm. The horror! I feel like I need to go and sit in a library or something this afternoon to gain some semblance of intelligence back because I am certain my IQ dropped about ten points just after spending a couple of hours with her. Good grief!

I need a Tylenol!
posted by Daisy Martin at 1:22 PM | Permalink | 13 comments
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Oops, The Postman Rings Twice

The postman delivered a package to me from my daughter today. Now let it be known that my postman is deathly afraid of dogs and therefore is afraid to come to my door. The few times he has come to the door he has his can of mace out and at the ready. If only he know how docile our dog really is. But I’m sure the outside door mat that says “Caution – Unbalanced dog” doesn’t help matters any. But that’s why I was so surprised that he braved if and came to the door to deliver the pkg. Must have been because it was mother’s day.

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Brooke sent me the sweetest things for Mothers day. A funny card, a window sticker for family members of soldiers, a wristband, a pin, and an awesome hand made Polish pot (vase thingy?) and the coolest piece of hand painted stoneware from the Netherlands. I am in awe. I feel like Christmas has come. Thanks so much Brooke, I appreciate it all! You are my favorite daughter! Well, you actually my only daughter, but you can still be my favorite daughter, can’t you?

Last night was movie night here at the Daisy household. The hubster and I went out for pizza and a movie. We went to see Hot Fuzz. If you only see one movie this year, make that the movie. I loved it! It was from the makers of Shaun of the Dead and was hilarious! If you are having a bad week and new a side-splitting laugh go see Hot Fuzz! Daisy’s orders!
posted by Daisy Martin at 9:26 AM | Permalink | 4 comments
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Oops, I Loved Revealing Skills

Do you remember the deal I had for you? Or rather, the deal Kate had for you? In addition to announcing Kate’s “Have I got a deal for you” contest the other day, I also took the challenge and read one of the books she recommended. I read Revealing Skills by Summer Devon.

This is the first shape-shifter book I have ever read and I was a bit concerned that I wouldn’t be able to follow along. Was I ever wrong. Summer Devon writes with an ease that makes you feel like you have been reading shape-shifter books forever. I was immediately drawn into the story of Gil and Tabica and couldn’t put the book down until I had consumed every delicious word in the book down to the very last page. Even then I had a strong desire to go back and savor each chapter again. To say I was enthralled would be an understatement.

Summer drew me into a world I had never been before. A magical world filled with Castles, Shape-shifter, Fesslerats and Ereshgekils.

I was with Gil as he sat in his dank cell consuming the rat’s hair one strand at a time attempting to shape-shift into the fesslerat to escape his imprisonment. I jumped in startlement when Yeva snatched the fesslerat by the tail, holding him aloft as she plotted how best to kill him and sell his pelt. I was on the edge of my seat many times throughout this book. I jumped in fear, I laughed, I cried and I lusted. Revealing Skills has it all. Summer Devon has a well rounded talent that few authors are able to achieve. She adeptly holds the readers attention as she rapidly moves her characters from one fascinating situation to another. This is a quick reading book and one you won’t want to put down. If you have never read a Summer Devon book, this is the one for you. You will definitely become a Summer Devon fan after reading Revealing Skills.
posted by Daisy Martin at 8:45 AM | Permalink | 2 comments
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Oops, There Go My Cages

What possessed me to go over to chat with the self proclaimed faith healer neighbor when I saw her sitting on her porch swing tonight? Am I a glutton for punishment? Have I gone loco? Or was I just incredibly bored? Either way, that’s what I did. I went and say on her porch swing with her and had a nice chat. It was rather relaxing I must admit and in the beginning I enjoyed it. She was telling me her usual take of woe about how her husband hasn’t worked since last September but is taking a truck driving course and hopes to get a job sometime in the next couple of months. She tell me that they are so broke living off her paycheck alone that she had no money to buy gas to take her daughter to school yesterday. The private Christian school her daughter goes to is 25 miles away and she only had an eighth of a tank of gas. So she takes her daughter to school yesterday planning on sitting in her van in the parking lot all day because she doesn’t have enough gas to go home and then go back to pick up her daughter. She is telling this to one of the other mothers and the woman hands the faith healer her credit card and tells her to fill her tank up and give her the card back that afternoon. Silly woman! What does the faith healer do? She fills her van up with premium gas, not the cheap stuff. Then on the way home she decided to stop by Walmart and charge 9 tomato plants, some flowers and plant fertilizer. She was sure the woman wouldn’t mind. I have a feeling this woman won’t be lending her credit card out again.

So now that the faith healer has tomato plants she needs tomato cages. That’s where I come in since I am rich, or at least according to the faith healer and her daughter I am. She tells me her tale of woe and begs to ‘borrow’ a couple of tomato cages. I have 10 extra cages but I didn’t tell her that…then. Eventually she wears me down to the point where I offer her a couple of cages. A “couple” of cages. She comes over to my back yard to get them and tells me (not ask – Tells me) that she needs a few more and proceeds to grab several more. It got to the point where she had 8 of my 10 tomato cages. My jaw is hanging open at the turn of events and the way she has manipulated me once again. But it gets better. As she starts to leave with my 8 cages she says “wait a minute, I should really get another” and proceeds to grab the last 2, taking all 10 of my spare tomato cages before she hastily departs. I am left shaking my head in the dust wondering what the hell just happened and how I ended up giving her all of my tomato cages. I still don’t understand it. Maybe I’ll sneak over there some night after they have gone to bed and take my cages back. What the hell happened again?
posted by Daisy Martin at 5:08 PM | Permalink | 4 comments
Monday, May 7, 2007
Oops, She Has The Gimmes

What a weekend. I should have known something was amiss when my eldest son asked me to have my granddaughter, Jas, Saturday night so he and his girlfriend could go to a party. I was afraid he would ask me to let his girlfriends daughter spend the night as well. So before I accepted I asked him who would be staying. Oh just Jas he promised. Oddly enough I got a call Saturday morning from Jas. “Gwanma Daisy” she said, “Shelly wants to know if we can go to the dollar store tonight.” Confused, I questioned her. It seems that the plan all along was that both girls would be spending the night. I have been taken for a ride! The hubster was not surprised and frankly I wasn’t either.

You would think it would be great for both girls to spend the night as they could amuse each other. We are talking about Shelly here also known as the “Gimme” girl. Gimme, gimme, gimme. On the way to a hamburger place for dinner shelly whines that she really wants Taco bell. I offer to go to the drive-up window and get her Taco bell for dinner and allow her to eat it in the hamburger place that we are going t. She is fine with that and orders quite a large amount at Taco Bell. No problem there. But when we get to the hamburger place she also wants a hamburger, cheese fries, coke and large chocolate malt. She ate every bit of it too. Shelly is a growing girl after all. At the dollar tree I limit each girl to seven items. All I heard was whinning and bargaining from Shelly. She drove me bloody nuts! We get out of there and head to a store to pick up pancake mix. Gimme, gimme, gimme. Shelly wanted lip gloss, Shelly wanted a lunch-able, Shelly wanted chips, Shelly wanted cookie dough. Daisy wanted duct tape… well never mind about that.

We get home and the girls put on the fake nails I had bought them at the dollar store. Let it hereby be said that fake nails are forever forbidden in my house. Poor Jas glued hers on so well that nothing was getting those things off. The poor girl sat for 30 minutes soaking her nails in nail remover to no avail. Meanwhile Shelly is eating us out of house and home. We put the first batch of cookies in the oven. Shelly starts eating the other half of the cookie dough. Jas tells her to stop eating everything and save some for other people. That is very telling when a 6 year old tells an 11 year old to take off the feed bag. Shelly didn’t listen though and went on an uncontrollable eating frenzy. I never saw anything like it. I was scared for the poor dog and told him to hide. He might have been next! You never know.

I finally get the girls to bed at midnight. The hubster and I go to bed at 1am. The next morning I find out that Shelly the eating machine woke up poor little Jas after we had gone to bed and begged her to come downstairs with her while she ate everything that wasn’t nailed down. Jas was not very happy about being woken up. I wouldn’t have been either!

Sunday morning after a large breakfast of pancakes and bacon, the gimme’s started. I was pretty sick of it by this point and tried to put my foot down. I didn’t take Shelly to the stores to buy her things like she kept begging me to, but my constant refusal didn’t shut her up. By the time her mother came to pick her up in the afternoon I was ready to buy an econo size roll of duct tape and use it on the girls mouth, seriously! Meanwhile Jas looks on at Shelly’s bad behavior, with wide eyes. I hope she is thinking “what a naughty girl, I never want to act like that”. You never know though. By the time Shelly left I was so frustrated and had such a bad headache that my entire Sunday was ruined. I'm going to put my foot down I tell you. This is the last time they trick me into watching that kid (Shelly not Jas)! The last time I tell you, the last! And this time I mean it!
posted by Daisy Martin at 8:48 PM | Permalink | 2 comments
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Oops, Have I got a Deal for You

Do you like to read? Do you like contests? Do you like to read and like contests? Maybe you like to read while you do contests? Are you totally lost trying to follow my illogical thought process? If you answered yes to any of those questions have I got a deal for you! Wait a minute, that’s the name of the contest; I may be disqualified for plagiarizing the name of the contest. And you wonder why I never win anything?

Here is the scoop. Kate is having a really cool contest. Although I don’t know how you could call it a contest because everyone is a winner is you like to read. What’s the contest about? You merely review a book and you are put in a drawing to win a thirty dollar gift certificate. Head on over to Kate Rothwell’s site for the full details and rules of the contest. The great part about it is since you get to read a book you have already won if you are a book whore like me. The gift certificate would just be icing on the cake if you won that. Hey! Cake! THAT’S what I can buy with the gift certificate when I win it.

In the meantime, your regularly scheduled program will resume tomorrow. With two little girls spending the night Saturday, Gwanma Daisy has been a little wiped out this weekend. Details to follow on Monday. Poor Gwanma Daisy. Can I get an amen?
posted by Daisy Martin at 9:23 PM | Permalink | 2 comments
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Oops, Jumping Plants

It’s that time of year once again. The time each year when I forget how crappy my veggie garden turned out the prior year and I lose my head in the garden section of my local home improvement store. Out of the dozen tomato plants I planted last year I yielded about 20 tomatoes. None of my zucchini plants yielded anything last year, and there was not a green pepper to be seen even though I planted 6 pepper plants. I did however manage to get 3 little baby cucumbers off the cucumber plants. Considering it cost us $75 to rent a tiller to turn the soil over for a garden, $29 in fencing supplies to keep the dog out, and about $50 in plants, it may have been easier and cheaper to just have shopped at a farmers market last summer instead of trying to grow my own. Last year as I looked out over the shriveled barren masses, I vowed to never again plant a garden. I just don’t have a green thumb. You would think that after 11 years of trying I would just give up. Well this year I am not planting anything other than the odd flower here and there. I swear I won’t! But last night as I was wandering through the aisles of baby plants in the home and garden section, several tomato plants jumped into my cart. They were soon followed by packets of green bean seeds and packets of herbs. Then the onion sets jumped in. Damn those jumping plants! Damn my black thumb!
posted by Daisy Martin at 8:17 AM | Permalink | 8 comments
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Oops, It’s Unlucky Thirteen
Even though we celebrated our anniversary this weekend by doing a roadie to Kentucky our actual anniversary was yesterday. Thirteen years of wedded bliss, or something like that. Now I have to admit, I am scared to death. Thirteen has never been a good number for me. I ran over my grandparents dog, killing him, on Friday the 13th. His name was Lucky. Honest, it was. When I was 17 I got fired from a crappy waitress job on Friday the 13th. The manager said I reminded him too much of his ex-wife. It took me ten years to realize that was an insult. The point is, thirteen is just not a good fit for me. I am worried. I hope there will be a 14th anniversary.

I didn’t start the anniversary out very well. The hubster brought me a dozen long stemmed red roses. I was pissed. It was all about the timing. I was sitting at the desk paying the monthly bills. I had just finished going though his credit card bill when he walked in. I was not happy because he has been charging a bit on it recently. It took us a long time to get out of credit card debt and when I see him charging again I get upset. He chose that moment to walk in the door with this huge arrangement of beautiful long stemmed red roses from one of the most expensive florists in town. “Did you bother to look in the checkbook before you bought that?” I asked. “No” he replied, “I charged it.” I went in the other room because I was afraid I would lose it and say something I would regret. Later I did thank him for the flowers and I told him it was the thought that I appreciated and I would much prefer a $10 bouquet from the grocery store over something that cost a weeks worth of groceries. I thought I was being responsible. He thought I was being an ungrateful bitch. And in a way I guess I was being an ungrateful bitch, but a responsible one.

To make up for my ungrateful behavior I cut the grass for him today when he was at work. When he had come home for lunch he was worried that he wouldn’t be able to cut the grass tonight because of the storms moving in. So I did the deed for him this afternoon. I haven’t cut grass since I was fifteen. Did you know it has gotten a lot harder to cut grass than it was when I was a teenager? Must be something about the slope of the yard or the design of the mower nowdays. My ploy worked though and I am no longer labeled an ungrateful bitch in his eyes. Once again he thinks I am a sweet thoughtful wife. Silly man.
posted by Daisy Martin at 7:30 PM | Permalink | 4 comments