Take my neighbors…please! I don’t want them anymore. Yesterday was annoying neighbor day here at Casa El Daisy. It started when my 6 year old granddaughter, Jas, and I were planting flowers in the afternoon. She wanted to play with the faith healer neighbors daughter and that was fine with me. But the faith healers daughter had plans on playing in my house so she could watch TV. I wasn’t having that because they are like roaches; once you get them in your house it is hard to get them out. So Jas and I set up a couple of lawn chairs in the front yard and they played out there. Who should come over but the stupid old faith healer. And even though I didn’t let them in the house I had a heck of a time getting rid of her. She is like a fungus that you just can’t seem to fully eradicate.

The faith healer neighbor was incensed that the city had the nerve to serve her with legal papers yesterday. It would seem that in the Eleven years that she and her family have lived in that house they have never paid the $23 monthly sewer fee. The city finally had enough and has sued them. They want Eleven years of sewer fees plus lawyers fees. All told it comes to $4800. An astronomical sum for someone that can’t even buy gas for their car and has to mooch it off others. So she called them and told them she would pay $20 a month until it was paid off. It would never get paid off at that rate because the monthly fee is $23! They tried to tell her that and she put them in their place and told them they were low man on the totem pole because they hadn’t paid property taxes since living in the house either and they were first in line. They have no mortgage since her mother bought their house outright for them. And they have no car payments since her mother bought her minivan for them. So please tell me – what the hell HAVE they paid? Apparently nothing.

My other neighbor run-in happened at 1:00am. I went to bed and I kept hearing music like from a car bumping outside. It was very annoying. Finally I realized it wasn’t music from a car, it was coming from next door where this pothead lives. I was pissed. I throw on some clothes and go out in the pouring rain at 1AM and bang on his door. He can’t (or won’t) hear me over the music. So I stood there and banged on his door for almost ten minutes until he opened it. He was stoned out of his mind. I told him to turn the music off and I further added that I would appreciate it if he would keep it low after 11pm. I was so mad, but I held my tongue for once. He knew I was mad though and he apologized. It should have never gotten to the point where I had to go out in the rain at 1am though. Damn I hate my neighbors! I really think we need to move out of this neighborhood!

But you know, while you are at it, take my husband too. He always complains that I treat him like a child because I am frequently having to go behind him and close doors, take his keys out of the front door, and other simpleton things like that. Well this morning my little boy couldn’t find his car keys. No problem, he just took the extra set of car keys that he had left on the garage floor two days ago. When he came home for lunch today we found his car keys alright. Oh yes, we found them. He had left them in the pathfinder in the ON position! Now I have a dead battery. Oh I am so pissed. I told him to go back to work and get out of my sight before I said something I would regret. It’s like being married to a fourteen year old boy that you have to constantly walk behind because his mind is blank. If my week keeps up like this I am going to have to call my doctor and tell him to put me on nerve pills! Good grief! So please, take my neighbor and my husband too.