Saturday, January 31, 2009
Oops, A Snow Day

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All I'll say is sometimes a snow day is not a good thing to wish for! Twelve inches is a little in excess when you would have been happy with six.

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If you do get a snow day, with massive quantities of snow, it's best to put the man to work. Hurray for the man!

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The little doggie is glad the man got to work and shoveled paths in the snow, because it's a hard life when you can't squat to pee because the snow is taller than your patooty.
posted by Daisy Martin at 2:42 PM | Permalink | 4 comments
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Oops, SOS For Life

Yesterday the hubster and I were driving and he noticed the car in front of us had a bumper sticker that said “Save the ta-ta’s.” He’s all for the ta-ta’s, he said, but what about gender equality? What about prostrate cancer? That’s a major killer too. When are we going to think about the men, he wondered? Well, I’ve taken care of that. I created a “Save our Schlong’s” ribbon. Aka SOS. It uses a flesh colored ribbon. The detail on the end of the ribbon might be a little much though. But hey, S.O.S. for life, baby!

Today is my Grandma’s birthday. She would have been 101 today. Sadly, she passed away in December 1995. Hardly a day goes by that I don’t think about her, and miss her. She and my grandfather raised me from the time I was younger than two. Funny how you never really appreciate what you have until it’s gone. I often think back to that last day of her life where I sat with her the entire day as she lay in a coma. I didn’t move from her side that day. It was one of those days that you look back on and say, “I did the right thing and I’m glad.” Anyway, Happy Birthday Grandmom! I’ll eat massive quantities of cake and ice cream in your honor today.

And speaking of family, my poor, little bitty, sweetie pie, granddaughter has been in her first car accident. Her other grandma was driving yesterday with Jas in the back seat. She turned her vision away from the road for just a minute and when she turned back the cars in front of her were stopped and she plowed right into them. The impact was so hard, both air bags deployed. Everyone is okay, abet a tad bit sore today. Jas was pretty shaken up by the whole experience as you can imagine an eight year old involved in her first car accident would be.

And still on the subject of family, please continue to keep my son in law, daughter and grandpug in your prayers. Three soldiers in my son in laws unit lost their lives yesterday. It breaks my heart every time I hear that, and it pisses me off because such a thing should not be happening. I am one of those fools that believes we should all be able to get along. How stupid is that?
posted by Daisy Martin at 8:09 AM | Permalink | 4 comments
Monday, January 19, 2009
Oops, Its Only Food

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What kind of a dumbbell buys a goldfish and doesn’t buy goldfish food? The dumb son of the dumb mother that bought goldfish food for the poor hungry goldfish, only to discover that the goldfish was food for the bigger fish. Yeah, dumb and dumber. How was I to know? Sure, I could have mentioned to my son that I was buying fishfood for his … fishfood. But I never dreamed that he was feeding his fish live fish. What kind of a sick, twisted household am I running here where we feed living things to our pets? Next thing I know he’ll be buying live squirrels for the dog to eat for dinner.

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What really annoys me is that I stressed all day Sunday about it until I could stand it no longer and went and bought the poor little fish some food. Fred was his name. My eight-year-old granddaughter named him. Rest in Peace dear Fred, we hardly knew ye.

posted by Daisy Martin at 8:18 AM | Permalink | 7 comments
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Oops, an Expensive Sandwich

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Every five years or so, I get in the mood for a tuna sandwich. It’s been about five years since I’ve last had one, so I’ve been itching for one this week. Last night, as I lay in bed, I decided I would get up bright and early and go to the grocery in the morning for fixings to make a tuna sandwich for lunch. I wake up this morning to find snow falling, fast and furious. Not to be daunted, I purged ahead and braved icy, snowy, treacherous roads and horrible Midwest drivers, all in the name of the almighty tuna on whole wheat. Two hours and $53 later I was home. Yes, only I could spent $53 on a tuna sandwich. It’s not hard to do. When I got to the Meijers I realized I needed mayo to mix in with the tuna. And you can’t have tuna without chopped onion and chopped sweet pickle. And of course I had to buy the wheat bread and we all know that’s not cheap anymore.

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Then there was the homemade veggie beef soup I made since it was snowing and you have to have a pot of soup simmering on the stove when it is snowing outside so you feel cozy inside. When it was all said and done I had 2 grocery bags full of food and was $53 poorer. BUT, I had a killer tuna sandwich for lunch. And now I can go another five years until I need my tuna fix. By that time it may be $83 instead of $53.

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As I meantioned, we had snow today. Our little Chloe is not a snow dog by any means. Now Moose, our doggie that passed away from cancer last March, he was a snow dog. He was born in December and loved snow with all his heart. Chloe was born in July so she is a summer dog. When we opened the door for her to go out this morning she looked up at us as if to say, “what? You expect me to go out in that? You’ve got to be kidding!” She did eventually go out, but was ready to come in about 2 minutes. She spent the rest of the day looking out the front window bemoaning the fact that this horrid white stuff was littering her lawn. She was not happy about it.

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My snow picture is deceptive since it was taken before the additional three inches fell. Now it is a virtual winter wonderland out there. I am snug inside for the rest of the night, so I am loving the weather. Let the white stuff fall, the more the better. Tomorrow it isn’t supposed to go above zero at all. I won’t be living that. Especially since my granddaughter Jas is spending the night tonight and I have to drive her to school in the morning. We have already been informed that there will be a two hour delay for schools so that makes it a little easier. Cold weather is a littler more bearable when it is light outside as opposed to the darkness at 7:45am.

Seriously, although I do love snow, but this cold weather is on my last nerve. So I am planning a trip to Florida. At first I thought about flying out to Sacramento to visit my cousin (whom I haven’t seen since 2005) but then I realized I would have to wear a coat there. While they don’t have Midwest temps they don’t have Florida temps either. So Florida it is. Now if I can only hold out for two more weeks until we hit the road.
posted by Daisy Martin at 4:57 PM | Permalink | 2 comments
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Oops, It’s a Birthday

Today is my daughter’s birthday. Hey, the first birthday in our family of 2009! Happy Birthday Brooke! Sadly it’s another birthday that I won’t get to share with her, other than through email because she is still many miles away on foreign soil. I haven’t even sent her birthday card yet. What a bad Mom I am. I bought something for her online recently and am waiting to send her birthday package until this item arrives. Guess what. I am still waiting for it to arrive. So instead of putting her birthday check in her package I gave her my credit card number to buy what she wants. It’s not the same though. I am mad that certain vendors won’t send to APO addresses and can’t ship their packages in a timely manner.

If she were here, instead of on an Army base in Germany, I would firstly take her out for a nice lunch to her choice of place. Maybe the Cheesecake Factory. Then I would take her to Baker’s Shoes in the mall and let her buy one pair of shoes. She would then spend four hours trying to narrow her choice down to just one pair. (An impossible decision for a shoe-a-holic such as herself). After that we would go to Target or Kohl’s where I would buy her an outfit for her special day. That night we would all go out to dinner somewhere fun like maybe Jasmine Thai. Then back home for ice cream cake from Baskin Robbins and presents. That is the day I would want to give to her if she were stateside today.

Yes, I would rise above the fact that 20-some years ago I was laying in a hospital bed in dire pain, after a doctor had broken my water with a thing that looked like a huge crochet hook. (Honest, it did). Eight hours later, at the stroke of eleven pm, out she popped. It was right during the shift change so I had two sets of nurses assisting the doctor. Set #1 didn’t want to leave until she was born and set #2 was there and ready to start work.

I would even rise above the fact that being pregnant with my precious girl triggered gallbladder attacks to occur after she was born. So when she was two months old I went in for the old fashioned gallbladder removal. Not the new kind they do today where you have a tiny little incision. No, I had the old fashioned kind where they cut you from stem to stern. I was in the hospital for ten days after that operation. I couldn’t get Brooke to drink from a bottle so she stayed with one of my friends who had given birth to a son a couple of months before Brooke was born. Do you know where I’m going with this? Yup, my friend nursed Brooke. She had her son on one boob and Brooke on the other. For two solid weeks! I guess when you are a baby you don’t care where your boob comes from as long as you get a boob. Or, “ninny” as we called it in our family. Then in waltzes my grandma and she gets Brooke to take the bottle. There was still boob involved however, in that she would rock Brooke and sing her the “booby song.” The booby song is sung to the tune of that old gospel song “As we gather at the river” and is merely the word boob or booby. For instance:
“Booby booby, booby booby, booby booby boo.”
Countless numbers of babies were rocked to sleep to the tune of that song. Yes, in our family it’s all about the booby. That’s how we roll. I mean, who else could go from birthdays to boobies all in the same blog post?

Happy Birthday Brookie! I love you and you were well worth the eight long hours of excruciating pain.
posted by Daisy Martin at 6:18 AM | Permalink | 5 comments
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Oops, Its The Truth

Ever notice how some blogs seem to have this theme going where the blog writer will constantly whine about what a horrible person they are and the readers will lift that person up? I wonder what would happen if the readers were to really tell the truth to the blog writer. Do you think it would make a difference in their lives or make them become a better person? For instance instead of leaving comments like;

  • Don’t worry, you are a great mom and one slap does not an abuser make

  • Of course it’s okay to look at other men, all women do that

  • Oh I am so with you gal, who needs to change their underwear every day when every other day is just as fine.

  • What if they just told the truth?

  • Don’t worry, child protective services will show up on your door any day and then YOU’LL be able to feel what it’s like to be hit when you get bitch slapped by your cell-mate Bertha.

  • Please don’t sit on my toilets if you ever come to visit, I’m afraid I’ll get a disease from you ho-bag.

  • Damn girl, THAT’S what that stanky smell is.

  • No, I’m not hitting children, or looking at other men and I do change my underwear every day. And no, none of you leave comments like that, of which I am grateful. But I swear to you, I just read a blog where the writer was whining about how she felt so guilty and like a terrible mother because her 2nd husband had bitch-slapped her 17 year old son. She got the typical comments of how she is so great and so is her husband and that rotten old teenager probably had it coming anyway because if he hadn’t done something to warrant being hit by now he certainly would any day, because he was 17 after all. It just pissed me off and I wanted to leave a comment telling the woman how dysfunctional her family actually is and tell her she should seek family counseling for the sake of her children. But sadly I averted my eyes from the train wreck and went on about my day. Just makes me wonder what the world would be like if we quit hiding our heads in the sand and told people the truth. I’d like to think that would mean one less kid that would get slapped around by a stepfather.

    I know, I’m thinking too much. I guess that’s what happens when you spend your evening cleaning up vomit. Last night, shortly before midnight, I was down in the TV room and heard Jas calling for me from her bedroom. I rush upstairs and the poor kid is sitting in vomit. She had vomited all over the place in her sleep. Now having raised three kids of my own, before the granddaughter came along, I’ve seen more than my fair share of vomit. This took the cake though. I have never in my entire life, seen such massive quantities of vomit. Not even at a Grateful dead concert. It had even projectiled across the room and chunks were on the far wall. It was everywhere. I will spare you the indignity of further description, but wow! This morning the hubster didn’t even bother sticking the soiled items in the laundry. He threw away the PJs she had been wearing and took the rest of the bed linens and clothing to a Laundromat. He said it was better to pay to use public washers and get it all done in 45 minutes than to spend all day doing load after load in our washing machine. I have to agree.

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    Upon his return I went to the store and bought Jas a new set of PJs to replace the set we threw out and a new bed in a bag set. It was a “teenage” comforter. No Hannah Montana or Spongebob for her. After all she is eight years old now and almost a teenager. Or in her mind at least. Methinks she is growing up too fast. After sleeping half of the day, she awoke feeling 100% better. So it’s been an afternoon of “I’m bored”, and “I want more ice cream.” That kid ran me ragged. So now that she is tucked in her comfy new bed linens I am going to collapse on the couch with a good book. Some days being a “Gwanma” isn’t an easy job. Good thing the rewards are worth it. Goodnight!
    posted by Daisy Martin at 5:53 PM | Permalink | 1 comments
    Wednesday, January 7, 2009
    Oops, Its White Stuff

    Who sent the snow? come on, 'fess up because I'm sending it back! It's a state secret that I actually am ga-ga over the snow. Yes, I do enjoy a good snowball now and then. But this icky, icy, cold weather that comes with the beautiful snow is not appreciated.


    It comes at a very bad time because I was hoping to sneak out of Dodge for a few days. Thanks to this artic blast the Midwest is getting hit with (which will be worse next week) I have to stay home to make sure doors are shut and pipes don't freeze and little doggies get let out to pee on a regular basis. Being an adult sucks!
    posted by Daisy Martin at 2:46 PM | Permalink | 1 comments
    Saturday, January 3, 2009
    Oops, Its Good Luck

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    On New Years Eve the hubster researched good luck foods on the Internet. You know, the foods that we traditionally eat for good luck on New Years Day. Being originally from Maryland we were always taught that black-eyed peas were the lucky food you should eat on New Years day in order to have good luck for the rest of the year. But here in the Midwest we see cabbages being touted as the thing to eat. Thus, we decided to go to the leading authority on any subject; the Internet.

    What we found was quite interesting. You should eat pork on New Years day because a pig "roots" for his foot, which is a forward motion movement. Therefore you will move forward during the New Year. Now if you ate chicken on New Years Day you just screwed up your new year because a chicken "scratches" in the dirt for it's food which is a backward sort of movement. Therefore had you eaten chicken (like we did on New Years Day 2008) your entire year would be spent going backward (like our 2008 was).

    Cabbage indicates money, thus to eat cabbage on New Years Day means money will flow towards you in the New Year.

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    Black-eyed peas for some reason indicate coins, therefore your coffers will be ample in the New Year and you will prosper.

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    Greens are also a good food to eat, once again because of the money thing. Greens are green, the same as paper money (at least American paper money), thus it is the same as cabbage and money will flow towards you in the New Year. Greens indicate prosperity.

    The gold color of cornbread indicates money as well and means prosperity.
    Noodles are also good. That explains why the Chinese eat them on New Years Eve and New Years Day. Now that just pisses me off though, because the hubster and I went out for a nice Chinese dinner on New Years Eve but we neglected to order noodles. We didn't read the noodles reference until after New Years. Drat, that was extra luck we could have had.

    Some Hispanic cultures recommend eating 12 grapes at the stroke of midnight. You eat one grape for every strike of the clock at midnight. Again, we did not know that until well after the fact so we neglected to eat grapes. BUT we did have sparkling grape cider at the stroke of midnight, so shouldn't that count for something?
    2008 was our worst year yet and I attribute it to our having not eaten black-eyed peas on New Years Day. We were traveling at the time and were out of town. If I had known what a crappy year it was going to be I would have gone to a grocery store, bought a can of black eyed peas and eaten them right out of the can, cold and all.
    All in all, I am hopeful for 2009 because we did eat our fair share of good luck foods on New Years Day. We spent all afternoon in the kitchen cooking together (also a good luck move). We made spiral sliced ham with a honey glaze (honey being golden – thus money, ham meaning to move forward in the new year), collard greens slow cooked the southern way with a ham hock, candied sweet potatoes, cornbread, black eyed peas also slow cooked with a ham hock, and pumpkin pie. We may have gained ten pounds on New Years day from all the fat laden foods we ate, but by golly they were all good luck foods!

    Here's to a happy and prosperous 2009 for us all!
    posted by Daisy Martin at 10:08 AM | Permalink | 6 comments
    Friday, January 2, 2009
    Oops, Its 2009

    Happy belated New Year! I must say I am soooooo happy that nasty 2008 is gone. What a rotten year that was. If you had a good 2008, power to you, but personally mine sucked dinasaur eggs.

    May 2009 be a wonderful year for us all!
    posted by Daisy Martin at 8:19 AM | Permalink | 0 comments