Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Oops, There Go My Cages

What possessed me to go over to chat with the self proclaimed faith healer neighbor when I saw her sitting on her porch swing tonight? Am I a glutton for punishment? Have I gone loco? Or was I just incredibly bored? Either way, that’s what I did. I went and say on her porch swing with her and had a nice chat. It was rather relaxing I must admit and in the beginning I enjoyed it. She was telling me her usual take of woe about how her husband hasn’t worked since last September but is taking a truck driving course and hopes to get a job sometime in the next couple of months. She tell me that they are so broke living off her paycheck alone that she had no money to buy gas to take her daughter to school yesterday. The private Christian school her daughter goes to is 25 miles away and she only had an eighth of a tank of gas. So she takes her daughter to school yesterday planning on sitting in her van in the parking lot all day because she doesn’t have enough gas to go home and then go back to pick up her daughter. She is telling this to one of the other mothers and the woman hands the faith healer her credit card and tells her to fill her tank up and give her the card back that afternoon. Silly woman! What does the faith healer do? She fills her van up with premium gas, not the cheap stuff. Then on the way home she decided to stop by Walmart and charge 9 tomato plants, some flowers and plant fertilizer. She was sure the woman wouldn’t mind. I have a feeling this woman won’t be lending her credit card out again.

So now that the faith healer has tomato plants she needs tomato cages. That’s where I come in since I am rich, or at least according to the faith healer and her daughter I am. She tells me her tale of woe and begs to ‘borrow’ a couple of tomato cages. I have 10 extra cages but I didn’t tell her that…then. Eventually she wears me down to the point where I offer her a couple of cages. A “couple” of cages. She comes over to my back yard to get them and tells me (not ask – Tells me) that she needs a few more and proceeds to grab several more. It got to the point where she had 8 of my 10 tomato cages. My jaw is hanging open at the turn of events and the way she has manipulated me once again. But it gets better. As she starts to leave with my 8 cages she says “wait a minute, I should really get another” and proceeds to grab the last 2, taking all 10 of my spare tomato cages before she hastily departs. I am left shaking my head in the dust wondering what the hell just happened and how I ended up giving her all of my tomato cages. I still don’t understand it. Maybe I’ll sneak over there some night after they have gone to bed and take my cages back. What the hell happened again?
posted by Daisy Martin at 5:08 PM | Permalink |


  • At May 9, 2007 at 12:06 AM, Blogger Sam

    In my day, the poor used sticks to tie their tomatoes up.
    I cannot believe the gall of that woman. But it cracks me up. I'm sure you go over to see her in order to entertain your blog readers, lol.
    Just don't forget to get your cages back - in fact, I'd go over with indelible marker and put your name on all of them, just to make sure she 'doesn't forget'.

  • At May 9, 2007 at 5:42 AM, Blogger Oopsy Daisy

    The point is Sam, will I want the cages back when she is done with them? I saw several mice climbing over stuff in her garage while we were talking. I mentioned it to her and she said "Oh yeah, the mice are taking over the house". Maybe she should have charged a mousetrap or two instead of tomato plants.

  • At May 9, 2007 at 8:56 AM, Anonymous eg

    Daisy, please put aside your novel and write a script for yourself. Here's a possible start:
    "Why no, I can't lend you any [insert noun here]. I plan to use it later this month."
    "Uhmm no, thanks for asking, but I cannot pay for your lunch today."
    No, I'd rather your daughter not come over today, I have something special for Jas alone."
    Notice the operant word in each sample script. Pay homage to Nancy Reagan, Just say No!

  • At May 9, 2007 at 12:10 PM, Blogger Oopsy Daisy

    Ha ha, I need to carry you around with me Ern. everytime I start to tell the nieghbor ok you sout out "NO! Just say NO!!!" It could work!