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It all started off with the hubster lamenting about the insanely delicious lemon icebox pie his grandmother used to make. Being delusional and not of sound mind, I decided I would make him a lemon icebox pie just like his grandma’s. Did you know there are several ways you can make a lemon icebox pie? You can use a vanilla wafer crust or a graham cracker crust. You can use raw egg yolks with lemon and condensed milk, or you can go the route of cream cheese, lemon juice and whipping cream. You can bake it or you can cook it on the stove, or even try the no bake/no cook kind. You can top it with whipped cream, meringue or just serve it plain on top. In summary, there are too many different lemon ice box pie recipes and not a damn one of them is any good. So if you have a good lemon icebox pie recipe that tastes just like grandma used to make, please send it to me.

And the hubster was absolutely no help whatsoever. For someone who had been dreaming about this pie for years, he really had no clue as to what he had been dreaming about. I asked him if it was in a pie shape or square. He didn’t remember. Baked or more like a cool whip fluffy thing? He didn’t remember. Meringue or whipped cream on top? He didn’t remember. The only thing he remembered was that he liked it as a kid and wanted one.


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After a shopping trip to the grocery last night after dinner, I stood in the kitchen separating egg yolks, whipping them with sweetened condensed milk, squeezing numerous lemons, crushing vanilla wafers, etc. An hour later my oven timer went off and I pulled the masterpiece out of the oven. I almost burst in tears. It was so ugly that I immediately dumped the entire pie in the garbage without even thinking to take a picture. I was too embarrassed to take a picture of the burnt curdled gray slop anyway. So this morning it was back to the grocery for more lemons and more condensed milk. I got smart this time though and bought a pre-made graham cracker crust. I once again stood in the kitchen squeezing lemons and separating egg yolks. This time instead of baking it I cooked it on the stove top. It looks okay I suppose but I’m not sure it is what he was remembering. The next step is to try the cream cheese recipe. I am a stubborn woman and I refuse to give up until I find a bloody lemon icebox pie recipe that tastes like the one his grandma used to make. Hell hath no fury like a woman looking for a lemon icebox pie recipe!