Have you heard? Indiana is flooded! Yes, our landlocked state is now under water. Last month we had the earthquake, now this month we have the floods. It’s always been my dream to have waterfront property. Now, thanks to Mother Nature, I have waterfront property today.



Could be worse (or better), as I could be one of those people living on the South side of Indy in a certain mobile home park. They went to bed last night in their trailer only to wake up this morning as their trailer turned into a houseboat. Great for those that always wanted to live on a houseboat. Sucks for those who prefer dry land. Not to make fun of people’s miseries (although I am good at that) but the news helicopter was hovering over these two young woman who were standing atop the last dry patch of earth around the trailer park. A 2-foot square piece of grass. They are standing there with their animals in a garbage can, waiting for help. This news helicopter keeps hovering over them, filming them and their perils. Then one of the girls looks up at the helicopter and says (I read her lips) “help us for God’s sake!” The news crew continues to merely hover, filming the action. The girls gets pissed at the lack of help and turn to the helicopter and very clearly one of them throws up her hands in a certain gesture and says “f**k you, go away if you aren’t going to help us. Assholes!” Well, maybe they were saying “vacuum”. But whether they were saying vacuum or f**k you, it was clear, they were pissed! I guess I would be too if my life was in jeopardy and a helicopter, which could bring me to safety, merely used me as a news story and wouldn’t help.

But my favorite news story from the trailer park today was the fat woman. The woman and her chunky male counterpart were so fat that the military hummer couldn’t take them to safety. A fire truck had to be dispatched for them to sit on the back of since they were too large to fit inside of it. It was a hook and ladder truck too. A big fire truck. Gotta love their spirit though. They saw the news crews filming from the helicopter and they waved as they swung their feet back and forth in the flood waters, enjoying the ride. That’s what I’m going to do when the fire truck comes to rescue my fat butt from the trailer. I am going to sit back, kick my feet in the water and enjoy the ride.