Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Oops, It’s The Zoo

Click on image to enlarge

“You need to work to get ahead” my grandmother told me.
“An honest days work for an honest dollar” my grandfather would say.
“Don’t work when you can get what you need off of everyone else” is what the self proclaimed faith healer neighbor tells her daughter. You can assume by those remarks that our day at the zoo did not go well. No, I take that back, our day did go well if you are asking about the fun the girls had and the many things they saw and got to experience. But if you are asking about the health of my bank account, that’s where the day went downhill. I have been walking around for the last couple of months with a fifty dollar bill hidden in my wallet that is for emergencies. You know, like a snazzy purse when I am in between paychecks, or a darling pair of shoes that I just can’t say no to. Even though I went to the bank that morning I ended up having to use my emergency fifty dollar bill yesterday. I am so sad about that.

As I mentioned yesterday, I had let myself get talked into “lending” my neighbor the money for zoo tickets for her daughter and herself. I was cool with that and I knew I would never get it back, but I was okay with that. But when we came out of the dolphin show and I went to get a cola things somehow took a downward spiral. I asked my granddaughter, Jas, if she would like a drink. No, but she did want an ice cream. I had no problem with that. Then the faith healers daughter tells the clerk to add a root beer float. So Jas changes her item to a root beer float. Then the faith healer adds a cola and breadsticks with cheese sauce. “That will be $15.02” says the clerk. Dead silence. In fact I thought I could hear crickets chirping. I slowly reach into my wallet and pull out a twenty. No one stops me or reaches in their purse to give me their portion. So I complete the move and pay for all of us. What does the faith healer do? “Tell Daisy thank you” she says to her daughter. Next comes the carousel. It costs a mere $2.75 to ride. Somehow I ended up paying for the tickets for the kids. Then F.H.D. (faith healers daughter) starts begging me to buy tickets for the train for all four of us. Tickets on the little train that circles the zoo are a whopping $7.00 per person so that would have been $28. I wasn’t about to pay that. She grabs my arm and starts insisting “Come on Daisy, buy the tickets, buy the tickets Daisy, I want to go on the train Daisy.” Her mother just looks on with a smile on her face, waiting for me to break down and buy the tickets. I refused though. I was getting more than fed up by that point and I was beginning to see that the only reason I was there was to pay for their good time. Then came the souvenir penny machine where you put in $1.01 and get your penny smashed with a picture of a zoo animal on it. F.H.D. grabs my arm and begs me to give her the money to sink into that machine. Like an idiot I did. I only did it because Jas wanted one too. Then came the soda machine where Jas wanted a bottle of water and then F.H.D. begged me for a soda while her mother looked on saying nothing. And of course I bought her a soda. Then they got hungry. “I want a footlong chili dog with extra cheese and a large fry and large coke” says the faith healer. Me too says F.H.D. “We’ll grab a table while you get the food” they say. And after giving me their order the faith healer gives me a hug and says “thanks so much for buying lunch, I don’t know what I would have done otherwise, I’m broke”. Being a soft hearted person (or an idiot) I pulled out my emergency $50 and paid the $36 for lunch. (Hotdogs are expensive at the zoo).

As we are sitting at the table and they are all eating their footlong chili dogs and fries F.H.D. looks over at my onion rings and says “I love onion rings Daisy”. I look her right in the eye and said “I do too”. And I kept on eating them without offering her one. I had a regular hotdog with a small batch of onion rings that only had 5 onion rings in it and here they were with their extra large fries and footlongs and she wants my onion rings too? Oh hell no! It wasn’t going down like that!

After a snack of ice cream and more zoo attractions our day was nearing the end. The zoo was closing in one hour so we headed to the exit, which conveniently is in the gift shop. And hell yes, F.H.D. begs me to buy her stuffed animals and such in the gift shop. No way kid. I did, however, buy my sweet little Jas (who didn’t ask for anything the entire day) a little dolphin toy that she wanted and a bracelet. As we are leaving I see F.H.D. buying something with the $5 she had. Her items came to $9 though so I see her mother pull out a wad of twenties and use one to pay for her daughter’s items with. That’s when I knew I had been had. Was I ever pissed! Being a whimp I didn’t say anything though. I didn’t want to ruin the wonderful day Jas had experienced, so I kept my mouth shut and chalked it up to experience. I would like to know how the faith healer can call herself a Christian though. And it is very apparent that she is training her daughter in the art of mooching as well. When the rapture comes and God starts smiting the sinners I don’t want to be anywhere near the faith healer or her family because I have a feeling it’s not going to go down very well for them.

The plum of the day was after we got home when the faith healer hugged me goodbye. She told me she had prayed that God would provide a way for her daughter to go places over her spring break and she was so pleased that God answered her prayers and sent me (and my wallet). I felt like telling her “honey, it wasn’t God that was footing the bill today, it was ME!” Maybe I should tell her that I prayed that God would make her pay me back.

I do have to tell you though, F.H.D. was the most annoying child at the zoo yesterday. It was quite embarrassing. She had one tone of voice and the best way to describe it would be to say it was ear splitting. The entire day was the “Hannah Show” (her real name). She dominated conversation the entire day and didn’t shut up for 60 seconds at any point in the day. And through it all her mother looked at her with the most adoring eyes as if to say, this is the most charming child on the planet. If you click on the above picture (to enlarge it) be sure to look at the woman standing in front of F.H.D. who is getting very annoyed with F.HD. That pretty much summed up the day. Annoying!
posted by Daisy Martin at 7:06 PM | Permalink |


  • At April 4, 2007 at 8:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous

    I am a new reader so I don't know the history here but I would be finding every way possible to avoid those people like the plague. Your lovely granddaughter should not be subjected to those two and NEITHER SHOULD YOU!! Your granddaughter would be so much better off just spending a day with you. Yikes! Guess the $50 was spent instead of for a cute bag, for an unforgetable lesson as to who these two really are!

  • At April 4, 2007 at 8:44 AM, Anonymous ehg

    C'mon Daisy, say it with me:
    "Why no, I can't pay for that [insert item here].
    No reason.
    Absolutely, no "sorry".

    If that's too cold turkey for you, you may add: "Hubby and I are having a race to see who can save the most $$ for a [insert wish here]. I want to win. So, no, I can't pay for your [insert item]."

    I'm serious, say it to yourself while cooking, vacuuming, daydreaming. . . practice it like a script. Learn it by heart. then, use it.
    I promise it works, I had the same wanna please virus. It wasn't until I learned the 'No, Hell no" script that I stopped paying for others. No more.
    Can I get an Amen please?

  • At April 4, 2007 at 2:09 PM, Blogger Oopsy Daisy

    I'm thinking total avoidance of these leeches Ern and Anonymous. They have it down to a science. I mean, they have no responsibilities at all! Life is a total free ride for them. The faith healers mother bought their house for them, their mini van and buys their Christmas every year. All they have to pay for is utilties and food and they keep getting their utilities shut off until their church or Debs mom bails them out and pays the bill. They are in their 50's and are probably too old to change, but I think the mom should have shut the purse strongs long ago. meanwhile my door is locked to them!

    And yes Ern, a rousing AMEN!!! ;-)

  • At April 5, 2007 at 11:50 AM, Blogger Sam

    You are too nice.
    Repeat after me:
    But your halo is glowing, and if there are brownie points in heaven you just earned a whole bunch!

  • At April 8, 2007 at 12:57 PM, Blogger Mr. Toast

    I admire your patience. My response to the cajoling and begging would have been the politically incorrect reply, "No f-ing way, kid."

    BTW ... there is one way to make sure that FH and her leeching offspring get the message and don't bug you in the future: simply give her the link to your blog. :-)