Friday, March 21, 2008
Oops, The Mad Shitter Strikes

Tonight I went to McAllister’s deli/sandwich shoppe for dinner for a not very good, chicken salad sandwich. They have great sweet tea though. I can drink my weight in their sweet tea. It’s a bad good thing they have unlimited refills on sweet tea. After I ate my yukky chicken salad on croissant I went to my favorite Borders bookstore. So after I read 3 gossip magazines and drank a tall no foam latte I had to pee some kinda bad. I mean really bad. Between the latte and the two extra large glasses of sweet tea, I was in urgent mode, if you know what I mean. So I go into the LADIES room and toilet #1 is occupied by someone who is taking a skanky nasty shit. Toilet #2 is small and directly next to the mad shitter in toilet #1. so I opt for the handicap toilet (toilet #3 of 3 toilets total). That turned out to be a no go. T seems that the handicap toilet had red spots all over the seat if you know what I mean. And here is the weird thing; there was a huge black turd on the floor, right in front of the toilet. Looked like a dog had dropped a turd actually. A big dog. A very big dog. So I have no choice, I had to go in toilet #2. I pee real quick as I hold my hand over my nose because the fumes from the skanky shitter are about to make me vomit. I do my business quickly and exit my stall at the same time that the skanky shitter exited their stall and at the same time as an older woman walks into the bathroom. She gives a yelp of surprise upon seeing the mad shitter exit their stall. Turns out the mad shitter was an old man! Yes. An old man had taken a skanky shit in the ladies room. He didn’t seem to be too concerned us. He just tipped his cowboy hat to the both of us and said "good evening ladies" and exited the bathroom. Without washing his hands I might add. What the hell is that store coming to? On Wednesday night I had been in that Borders and there was a balding man with a scraggly mullet wearing a womans purse. Not a man purse but an actual woman's purse from Walmart. WTF? That place is starting to scare me.
posted by Daisy Martin at 9:29 PM | Permalink |