As I was singing in the shower this morning I started thinking about the songs I taught my kids when they were little munchkins as opposed to the songs I’ve taught my 6 year old granddaughter. You see, my grandmother started it all by singing odd songs to me when I was a little tot. She then carried on the tradition by singing as she would rock my babies, such classics as “Boobie, Boobie” (sung to the tune of the old gospel song As We Gather At The River. Or that old classic “Butterbean, butterbean, butterbean”, sung to the tune of Lone Ranger song. While I did occasionally sing Boobie, Boobie and Butterbean, Butterbean, Butterbean to my kids and grandchild, I added new favorites thanks to the TV age that we live in. I taught my children to sing the McDonalds song by the time they were three.

“Big Mac, Filet O Fish, Quarter Pounder, French Fry,
Icy Coke, Thick Shake, Sundae and Apple Pie.
You deserve a break today,
So get up and get away,
At McDonalds, we do it all for you.”

While other tots in the neighborhood were learning the ABC’s song, or singing some Barney monstrosity, my kids were chanting the Burger King song.

“Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce,
special ordered don’t upset us,
all we ask is that you let us serve it your way,
have it your way,
have it your way… “

And then there was the regional favorite,

“I like bread and butter,
I like toast and jam,
I like the taste of Sunbeam bread,
It’s the one I buy.
Don’t want no pumpernickel,
Don’t want no fancy rye,
I like the taste of Sunbeam bread,
It’s the one I buy.”

Being young and idealistic, I also taught my children poetry. To this day when they belch they will automatically recite the poem of their youth;

“Excuse me for my rudeness,
it wasn’t very smart,
if it came out the other end,
it would have been a fart.”

For some reason my son asked me not to teach that to my granddaughter. Odd, eh?

With my granddaughter I not only sang her the old classics and the new classics, but I also taught her movie lines. I believe in giving her a well rounded childhood. By the time she was three I could shout to Jas “Your out of order” and she would immediately shout back “No your out of order.” By age four she would on occasion stand outside of my house and shout up to the bedroom windows “Yo Paulie” or “Adrian”. And by the time Jas was five she was known to look at me with a deep sadness in her young eyes and tragically groan “I coulda been a contender”. I didn’t set out to teach her these things, it just sort of happened, kind of like a train wreck happens, or a cold sore. It’s just one of those things. But one day, when she is much older, and she is watching On The Waterfront or Rocky, she’ll hear one of those lines and she’ll think fondly of her Gwanma Daisy. If I had known being a Gwanma was so much fun I would have skipped being a mother and just gone straight to being a Gwanma.