I Said The F Word

Oops, I’ve Been Shot

2009-02-27T14:05:00.000-08:00

Today is the hubster’s 42nd birthday. Birthday Hapday, dude! In honor of his b-day I let him choose what we would do today. I was hoping he would opt for sleeping in late, taking a long nap and going to bed early, but he didn’t. He chose to go to some of our favorite museums in downtown Indianapolis.

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We went to the Civil War museum at the Soldiers and Sailors Monument on Monument Circle. Although we have been to the Monument Circle monument, gift shop and observation tower, we had never been to the Civil War museum located in the basement of the monument. What a great museum. And what a great price; free. They had some really cool artifacts too.

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Afterwards we went to a hotdog place we have been wanting to try, King David Dogs. That’s were it got scary. After we ordered a Chicago dog and a chili cheese dog, I was shot. Honest, I was shot right in the chest, there in the restaurant! How it happened was I pushed on the ketchup dispenser to put some ketchup in a small plastic cup. The hubster and I were sharing a small fry. All of a sudden the ketchup shot out and spewed all over the front of my brand new lime green sweater. There was even ketchup on the sleeve. The shot was so violent that it got the back of my hubby’s leg, from knee to ankle and he was standing five feet away at the cash register! I immediacy screamed. The owner and two co-workers napped their attention in my direction. I hollered “Oh my God, I’ve been shot!” It was so bad (I know, “How bad as it?”) that I had to go in the bathroom and take my sweater off, and wash it in the sink. It was similar to someone squirting you with a large honking super-sized bottle of ketchup. It was a hell of a lot of ketchup, people! It seems what had happened was the ketchup thingy was newly filled and has a history of getting jammed so when I pushed on the handle it suddenly, an rapidly unjammed – all over me! For my injuries the owner gave us free tater tots and fries. I was sort of hoping for free hotdogs as well, but I guess he figured I merely needed something to sop up all that ketchup with, such as fried and tater tots. Fortunately the ketchup washed out and all was well.

After that lunch and a quick stop at Starbucks, we headed for the Indiana War Museum. Are you seeing a theme here? Yeah, we are war mongers form way back. Not really, but we are avid historians. Well someone has to do it, you know. Anyhoo, we spent the remainder of the day touring the War Museum, which I must say is one of the nicer war museums I have been to. If you are ever in Indianapolis you should check it out. And again, the price was great; free.

In between the war museum's we dropped by the City Market and walked around a bit. I was a little shocked to see the hoardes of policemen wandering the area, until the hubster mentioned the City County building (aka police station and jail) were directly across the street.

The hubster’s amazing, exciting birthday isn’t over yet. We are just at home, taking a break before we continue the festivities. Dinner and a movie are in the works for this evening, among other things. I’m even letting the hub-miester pick both dinner venue and the choice of movie. Hey, I’m all heart, but you knew that, didn’t you?!

Oops, It's an Album Cover

2009-02-25T16:52:00.000-08:00

This is sooooo fun. Give it a try, whether on your Facebook page, Myspace, blog or even on the wall at the gas station. And it’s easy peasy. Drop me a line or leave a comment and let me know your band’s name and your album cover.
Enjoy!

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What would your own album look like if you were in a band? Follow the directions below and find out.

Here are the rules:

1 - Go to Wikipedia. Hit “random”
or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to Quotations Page and select "random quotations"
or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four or five words of the very last quote on the page is the title of your first album.

3 - Go to Flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”
or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 - Use Photoshop or similar to put it all together.

5 - Post it to FaceBook with this text in the "caption" or "comment" and tag it with the friends that you want to join in.

My bands name was - Valery Larbaud
My album name is - You've got to bash in minds
If you ask me, I think it’s going to go platinum!

Oops, Writing and Museums

2009-02-20T17:34:00.000-08:00

Hoo boy, have I been busy lately. My vampire novel has taken on a life of it’s own and is nearing completion. Only, somehow it’s veered from being merely a paranormal romance with vampires and has turned into a full fledged urban fantasy with a whole cast of paranormal beings. My heroine, Frannie, is sucking face with the vampire that turned her when all of a sudden a lycan (werewolf) comes in. Later, she meets the head of the North American sector of paranormal beings, who just so happens to be a demon. A few days later, when she is at a restaurant with her obligatory gay, she is accosted by a zombie in the bathroom. I’ve even managed to add in a moujik and a few undine. Yes, it would seem that the book has taken on a life of it’s own. I have been eating, sleeping, and breathing that book for the last month. I am determined to have it completed by the end of February. It’s a real possibility that I may make the deadline. Odd since we all know how bad I am with deadlines and good I am with procrastination.

I did take a break from writing on Valentines Day. The hubster surprised me with a lovely vase full of long stemmed red roses, a large box of yummy chocolates and a cute card. I gave him the most romantic gift you could imagine – a bottle of Knob Creek bourbon with a note on it that said “nothing says I love you like a bottle of booze.” Did I mention spending my days writing gives me a warped sense of humor? I did spring for a card and a small box of gourmet chocolates so I’m not all bad. After I made my hunny-bunny a lovely, romantic breakfast of Belgium waffles (made with my super duper fancy professional waffle maker) topped with fresh strawberries and whipped cream, paired with crispy bacon (which I made him cook), we went to the Indianapolis Museum of Art. We had a lovely day there and I was yelled at only once this time. Yes, I am that moron that always forgets to turn their flash off when they take a picture. I felt really, really bad about it, especially since it was my absolute favorite piece. As you can see in the picture below, my flash is reflecting off the middle panel. This piece was done in the early 1300’s. It is part of a magnificent collection of artwork of the same era. Don’t get me started on art though, I’ll never shut up. That’s one of the many awesome things about living in a large city. The small town I grew up in, Salisbury MD, was 1-1/2 hours away from an art museum. In fact, the closest one was in Washington DC. And when you are stuck on a peninsula, cut off from the rest of civilization, you just don’t make the time to tour places like DC as often as you would have liked. But that’s another story.

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That damned groundhog certainly wasn’t off his mark when he predicted six more weeks of winter. We are expecting 3 to 6 inches of snow in the overnight hours. I am so bummed because I really need sunshine. Time to plan a trip if you ask me. Oh, that’s right, there may already be one planned. I’m closed lipped on it though, so don’t ask. Lets just say sunshine, crawfish and BBQ will be involved. But like I said, I’m not saying.

Speaking of trips though, it is surreal to think of this time last year. The hubster was packing to move to Salisbury to start his new job and I was staying here, alone, trying to sell our house. Our doggie was still alive, although ridden with cancer. My ex-husband was still alive and a thorn in my side. We were excited about the new adventure our lives were about to take (boy were we stupid). We were on top of the world. Remember the earthquake we had when he was gone? I bet Ernestine remembers that one, having experienced it herself. Yup, things were very much different. What a difference a year makes.

Oops, The Flu Hits

2009-02-13T10:43:00.000-08:00

How is it I ended up with a flu bug when I had a flu shot this year? Why waste the co-pay if I am going to get the flu anyway. Think I could get a refund of my co-pay since the flu shot obviously didn't work?

I would blame this on Friday the 13th, however it hit yesterday afternoon, suddenly and violently.

Okay, second wind is spent. I'm headed back to the couch. Just talk amongst yourselves until I return.

Oops, Cupcakes and Jewelry

2009-02-10T10:43:00.000-08:00

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I’ve not only been busy writing lately, I’ve also been busy crafting jewelry. This is where you come in. I need you opinions, please. I am pasting a few pictures of some of my jewelry designs and I was hoping you could tell me what you think. Either leave a comment or drop me a line via email.

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Do you think they look good enough that someone might buy them?

Which ones do you like the best?

If they do, would you sell them on eBay or Etsy or somewhere else?

How much would you charge for a pair of earrings?

How much would you charge for the glass necklace?

Is that enough questions for you or would you like some more?

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The sun decided to come out and play this week. How incredibly odd to have 12 inches of snow (or more) on the ground on Saturday and by Sunday afternoon to be able to see the bare ground again. Today it is positively balmy at 60-something degrees. I have no false hopes, however. Spring has not sprung. Winter is just giving us a cruel tease and will come back with a vengeance very soon.

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Perhaps the false spring is what urged my husband to make the most incrediably awesome cupcakes ever on Saturday evening. They were to die for. And I am talking To.Die.For. people! If you want the recipe buy my book and look on page 116 for the coconut cupcake recipe and page 130 for the frosting recipe. Any cupcake recipe that calls for 3 sticks of butter and 6 eggs has got to be good. Take my advice though, half the recipe or you will be eating cupcakes all week long and then some. If you don’t have my cookbook and would like the recipe, just drop me an email and I will shoot the recipe off to you.

Oops, Its Cold

2009-02-05T15:08:00.000-08:00

I am going on a road trip next week. I am going to Pennsylvania and find that rotten groundhog that saw his shadow and he is mincemeat when I get through with him. Mincemeat I tell you! Yes, suffice it to say, it’s bloody cold here! Just a mere minus one this morning when I drove Jas to school.

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It has been so cold my poor fingers have been freezing to the laptop’s keyboard. You would think it would be the opposite since I am smoking up the laptop. Wait, that doesn’t sound right. Allow me to explain. My fingers have been doing the laptop dance like crazy for the last month as I race towards the finish line with my smoking hot paranormal romance. You may remember at first it was a vampire romance. Well a week ago I had a brainstorm and now there is both a demon and a lycan in my novel. I am so stoked! Now I can hardly wait to finish it because I have a brilliant idea for a follow-up novel. So the sooner I finish this novel the sooner I start the next.

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Other recent activities have been jewelry making. Jasmine is getting into the act also. In fact, she made herself the cutest watch last night with swavorski crystals. I will have to take a picture of all my swavorski crystal jewelry components I have. You will die! I have about $3,000 worth. Yes, it was one fabulous sale! I could make jewelry every day for a year and still not run out. I feel like a miser hoarding his money as I sit in my crafting room running my fingers through all of my shiny swavorski crystals and charms. Shiny…shiny…me likey.

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Nothing else going on worth mentioning really unless you really want to hear about the EMG I am having tomorrow morning. That is where they stick tons of tiny little needles in your legs and feet, and then run electrical current though them to see if you have nerve damage. I had one two years ago and they determined I did have nerve damage. I guess they want to make sure I still have that irreversible nerve damage. Either that or my doctor wants to go on vacation again and need some extra money.

Oops, A Snow Day

2009-01-31T14:42:00.001-08:00

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All I'll say is sometimes a snow day is not a good thing to wish for! Twelve inches is a little in excess when you would have been happy with six.

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If you do get a snow day, with massive quantities of snow, it's best to put the man to work. Hurray for the man!

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The little doggie is glad the man got to work and shoveled paths in the snow, because it's a hard life when you can't squat to pee because the snow is taller than your patooty.

Oops, SOS For Life

2009-01-25T08:09:00.000-08:00

Yesterday the hubster and I were driving and he noticed the car in front of us had a bumper sticker that said “Save the ta-ta’s.” He’s all for the ta-ta’s, he said, but what about gender equality? What about prostrate cancer? That’s a major killer too. When are we going to think about the men, he wondered? Well, I’ve taken care of that. I created a “Save our Schlong’s” ribbon. Aka SOS. It uses a flesh colored ribbon. The detail on the end of the ribbon might be a little much though. But hey, S.O.S. for life, baby!

Today is my Grandma’s birthday. She would have been 101 today. Sadly, she passed away in December 1995. Hardly a day goes by that I don’t think about her, and miss her. She and my grandfather raised me from the time I was younger than two. Funny how you never really appreciate what you have until it’s gone. I often think back to that last day of her life where I sat with her the entire day as she lay in a coma. I didn’t move from her side that day. It was one of those days that you look back on and say, “I did the right thing and I’m glad.” Anyway, Happy Birthday Grandmom! I’ll eat massive quantities of cake and ice cream in your honor today.

And speaking of family, my poor, little bitty, sweetie pie, granddaughter has been in her first car accident. Her other grandma was driving yesterday with Jas in the back seat. She turned her vision away from the road for just a minute and when she turned back the cars in front of her were stopped and she plowed right into them. The impact was so hard, both air bags deployed. Everyone is okay, abet a tad bit sore today. Jas was pretty shaken up by the whole experience as you can imagine an eight year old involved in her first car accident would be.

And still on the subject of family, please continue to keep my son in law, daughter and grandpug in your prayers. Three soldiers in my son in laws unit lost their lives yesterday. It breaks my heart every time I hear that, and it pisses me off because such a thing should not be happening. I am one of those fools that believes we should all be able to get along. How stupid is that?

Oops, Its Only Food

2009-01-19T08:18:00.001-08:00

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What kind of a dumbbell buys a goldfish and doesn’t buy goldfish food? The dumb son of the dumb mother that bought goldfish food for the poor hungry goldfish, only to discover that the goldfish was food for the bigger fish. Yeah, dumb and dumber. How was I to know? Sure, I could have mentioned to my son that I was buying fishfood for his … fishfood. But I never dreamed that he was feeding his fish live fish. What kind of a sick, twisted household am I running here where we feed living things to our pets? Next thing I know he’ll be buying live squirrels for the dog to eat for dinner.

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What really annoys me is that I stressed all day Sunday about it until I could stand it no longer and went and bought the poor little fish some food. Fred was his name. My eight-year-old granddaughter named him. Rest in Peace dear Fred, we hardly knew ye.

Oops, an Expensive Sandwich

2009-01-14T16:57:00.000-08:00

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Every five years or so, I get in the mood for a tuna sandwich. It’s been about five years since I’ve last had one, so I’ve been itching for one this week. Last night, as I lay in bed, I decided I would get up bright and early and go to the grocery in the morning for fixings to make a tuna sandwich for lunch. I wake up this morning to find snow falling, fast and furious. Not to be daunted, I purged ahead and braved icy, snowy, treacherous roads and horrible Midwest drivers, all in the name of the almighty tuna on whole wheat. Two hours and $53 later I was home. Yes, only I could spent $53 on a tuna sandwich. It’s not hard to do. When I got to the Meijers I realized I needed mayo to mix in with the tuna. And you can’t have tuna without chopped onion and chopped sweet pickle. And of course I had to buy the wheat bread and we all know that’s not cheap anymore.

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Then there was the homemade veggie beef soup I made since it was snowing and you have to have a pot of soup simmering on the stove when it is snowing outside so you feel cozy inside. When it was all said and done I had 2 grocery bags full of food and was $53 poorer. BUT, I had a killer tuna sandwich for lunch. And now I can go another five years until I need my tuna fix. By that time it may be $83 instead of $53.

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As I meantioned, we had snow today. Our little Chloe is not a snow dog by any means. Now Moose, our doggie that passed away from cancer last March, he was a snow dog. He was born in December and loved snow with all his heart. Chloe was born in July so she is a summer dog. When we opened the door for her to go out this morning she looked up at us as if to say, “what? You expect me to go out in that? You’ve got to be kidding!” She did eventually go out, but was ready to come in about 2 minutes. She spent the rest of the day looking out the front window bemoaning the fact that this horrid white stuff was littering her lawn. She was not happy about it.

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My snow picture is deceptive since it was taken before the additional three inches fell. Now it is a virtual winter wonderland out there. I am snug inside for the rest of the night, so I am loving the weather. Let the white stuff fall, the more the better. Tomorrow it isn’t supposed to go above zero at all. I won’t be living that. Especially since my granddaughter Jas is spending the night tonight and I have to drive her to school in the morning. We have already been informed that there will be a two hour delay for schools so that makes it a little easier. Cold weather is a littler more bearable when it is light outside as opposed to the darkness at 7:45am.

Seriously, although I do love snow, but this cold weather is on my last nerve. So I am planning a trip to Florida. At first I thought about flying out to Sacramento to visit my cousin (whom I haven’t seen since 2005) but then I realized I would have to wear a coat there. While they don’t have Midwest temps they don’t have Florida temps either. So Florida it is. Now if I can only hold out for two more weeks until we hit the road.

Oops, It’s a Birthday

2009-01-10T06:18:00.000-08:00

Today is my daughter’s birthday. Hey, the first birthday in our family of 2009! Happy Birthday Brooke! Sadly it’s another birthday that I won’t get to share with her, other than through email because she is still many miles away on foreign soil. I haven’t even sent her birthday card yet. What a bad Mom I am. I bought something for her online recently and am waiting to send her birthday package until this item arrives. Guess what. I am still waiting for it to arrive. So instead of putting her birthday check in her package I gave her my credit card number to buy what she wants. It’s not the same though. I am mad that certain vendors won’t send to APO addresses and can’t ship their packages in a timely manner.

If she were here, instead of on an Army base in Germany, I would firstly take her out for a nice lunch to her choice of place. Maybe the Cheesecake Factory. Then I would take her to Baker’s Shoes in the mall and let her buy one pair of shoes. She would then spend four hours trying to narrow her choice down to just one pair. (An impossible decision for a shoe-a-holic such as herself). After that we would go to Target or Kohl’s where I would buy her an outfit for her special day. That night we would all go out to dinner somewhere fun like maybe Jasmine Thai. Then back home for ice cream cake from Baskin Robbins and presents. That is the day I would want to give to her if she were stateside today.

Yes, I would rise above the fact that 20-some years ago I was laying in a hospital bed in dire pain, after a doctor had broken my water with a thing that looked like a huge crochet hook. (Honest, it did). Eight hours later, at the stroke of eleven pm, out she popped. It was right during the shift change so I had two sets of nurses assisting the doctor. Set #1 didn’t want to leave until she was born and set #2 was there and ready to start work.

I would even rise above the fact that being pregnant with my precious girl triggered gallbladder attacks to occur after she was born. So when she was two months old I went in for the old fashioned gallbladder removal. Not the new kind they do today where you have a tiny little incision. No, I had the old fashioned kind where they cut you from stem to stern. I was in the hospital for ten days after that operation. I couldn’t get Brooke to drink from a bottle so she stayed with one of my friends who had given birth to a son a couple of months before Brooke was born. Do you know where I’m going with this? Yup, my friend nursed Brooke. She had her son on one boob and Brooke on the other. For two solid weeks! I guess when you are a baby you don’t care where your boob comes from as long as you get a boob. Or, “ninny” as we called it in our family. Then in waltzes my grandma and she gets Brooke to take the bottle. There was still boob involved however, in that she would rock Brooke and sing her the “booby song.” The booby song is sung to the tune of that old gospel song “As we gather at the river” and is merely the word boob or booby. For instance:
“Booby booby, booby booby, booby booby boo.”
Countless numbers of babies were rocked to sleep to the tune of that song. Yes, in our family it’s all about the booby. That’s how we roll. I mean, who else could go from birthdays to boobies all in the same blog post?

Happy Birthday Brookie! I love you and you were well worth the eight long hours of excruciating pain.

Oops, Its The Truth

2009-01-08T17:53:00.000-08:00

Ever notice how some blogs seem to have this theme going where the blog writer will constantly whine about what a horrible person they are and the readers will lift that person up? I wonder what would happen if the readers were to really tell the truth to the blog writer. Do you think it would make a difference in their lives or make them become a better person? For instance instead of leaving comments like;

Don’t worry, you are a great mom and one slap does not an abuser make

Of course it’s okay to look at other men, all women do that

Oh I am so with you gal, who needs to change their underwear every day when every other day is just as fine.

What if they just told the truth?

Don’t worry, child protective services will show up on your door any day and then YOU’LL be able to feel what it’s like to be hit when you get bitch slapped by your cell-mate Bertha.

Please don’t sit on my toilets if you ever come to visit, I’m afraid I’ll get a disease from you ho-bag.

Damn girl, THAT’S what that stanky smell is.

No, I’m not hitting children, or looking at other men and I do change my underwear every day. And no, none of you leave comments like that, of which I am grateful. But I swear to you, I just read a blog where the writer was whining about how she felt so guilty and like a terrible mother because her 2nd husband had bitch-slapped her 17 year old son. She got the typical comments of how she is so great and so is her husband and that rotten old teenager probably had it coming anyway because if he hadn’t done something to warrant being hit by now he certainly would any day, because he was 17 after all. It just pissed me off and I wanted to leave a comment telling the woman how dysfunctional her family actually is and tell her she should seek family counseling for the sake of her children. But sadly I averted my eyes from the train wreck and went on about my day. Just makes me wonder what the world would be like if we quit hiding our heads in the sand and told people the truth. I’d like to think that would mean one less kid that would get slapped around by a stepfather.

I know, I’m thinking too much. I guess that’s what happens when you spend your evening cleaning up vomit. Last night, shortly before midnight, I was down in the TV room and heard Jas calling for me from her bedroom. I rush upstairs and the poor kid is sitting in vomit. She had vomited all over the place in her sleep. Now having raised three kids of my own, before the granddaughter came along, I’ve seen more than my fair share of vomit. This took the cake though. I have never in my entire life, seen such massive quantities of vomit. Not even at a Grateful dead concert. It had even projectiled across the room and chunks were on the far wall. It was everywhere. I will spare you the indignity of further description, but wow! This morning the hubster didn’t even bother sticking the soiled items in the laundry. He threw away the PJs she had been wearing and took the rest of the bed linens and clothing to a Laundromat. He said it was better to pay to use public washers and get it all done in 45 minutes than to spend all day doing load after load in our washing machine. I have to agree.

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Upon his return I went to the store and bought Jas a new set of PJs to replace the set we threw out and a new bed in a bag set. It was a “teenage” comforter. No Hannah Montana or Spongebob for her. After all she is eight years old now and almost a teenager. Or in her mind at least. Methinks she is growing up too fast. After sleeping half of the day, she awoke feeling 100% better. So it’s been an afternoon of “I’m bored”, and “I want more ice cream.” That kid ran me ragged. So now that she is tucked in her comfy new bed linens I am going to collapse on the couch with a good book. Some days being a “Gwanma” isn’t an easy job. Good thing the rewards are worth it. Goodnight!

Oops, Its White Stuff

2009-01-07T14:46:00.000-08:00

Who sent the snow? come on, 'fess up because I'm sending it back! It's a state secret that I actually am ga-ga over the snow. Yes, I do enjoy a good snowball now and then. But this icky, icy, cold weather that comes with the beautiful snow is not appreciated.

It comes at a very bad time because I was hoping to sneak out of Dodge for a few days. Thanks to this artic blast the Midwest is getting hit with (which will be worse next week) I have to stay home to make sure doors are shut and pipes don't freeze and little doggies get let out to pee on a regular basis. Being an adult sucks!

Oops, Its Good Luck

2009-01-03T10:08:00.000-08:00

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On New Years Eve the hubster researched good luck foods on the Internet. You know, the foods that we traditionally eat for good luck on New Years Day. Being originally from Maryland we were always taught that black-eyed peas were the lucky food you should eat on New Years day in order to have good luck for the rest of the year. But here in the Midwest we see cabbages being touted as the thing to eat. Thus, we decided to go to the leading authority on any subject; the Internet.

What we found was quite interesting. You should eat pork on New Years day because a pig "roots" for his foot, which is a forward motion movement. Therefore you will move forward during the New Year. Now if you ate chicken on New Years Day you just screwed up your new year because a chicken "scratches" in the dirt for it's food which is a backward sort of movement. Therefore had you eaten chicken (like we did on New Years Day 2008) your entire year would be spent going backward (like our 2008 was).

Cabbage indicates money, thus to eat cabbage on New Years Day means money will flow towards you in the New Year.

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Black-eyed peas for some reason indicate coins, therefore your coffers will be ample in the New Year and you will prosper.

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Greens are also a good food to eat, once again because of the money thing. Greens are green, the same as paper money (at least American paper money), thus it is the same as cabbage and money will flow towards you in the New Year. Greens indicate prosperity.

The gold color of cornbread indicates money as well and means prosperity.
Noodles are also good. That explains why the Chinese eat them on New Years Eve and New Years Day. Now that just pisses me off though, because the hubster and I went out for a nice Chinese dinner on New Years Eve but we neglected to order noodles. We didn't read the noodles reference until after New Years. Drat, that was extra luck we could have had.

Some Hispanic cultures recommend eating 12 grapes at the stroke of midnight. You eat one grape for every strike of the clock at midnight. Again, we did not know that until well after the fact so we neglected to eat grapes. BUT we did have sparkling grape cider at the stroke of midnight, so shouldn't that count for something?
2008 was our worst year yet and I attribute it to our having not eaten black-eyed peas on New Years Day. We were traveling at the time and were out of town. If I had known what a crappy year it was going to be I would have gone to a grocery store, bought a can of black eyed peas and eaten them right out of the can, cold and all.
All in all, I am hopeful for 2009 because we did eat our fair share of good luck foods on New Years Day. We spent all afternoon in the kitchen cooking together (also a good luck move). We made spiral sliced ham with a honey glaze (honey being golden – thus money, ham meaning to move forward in the new year), collard greens slow cooked the southern way with a ham hock, candied sweet potatoes, cornbread, black eyed peas also slow cooked with a ham hock, and pumpkin pie. We may have gained ten pounds on New Years day from all the fat laden foods we ate, but by golly they were all good luck foods!

Here's to a happy and prosperous 2009 for us all!

Oops, Its 2009

2009-01-02T08:19:00.000-08:00

Happy belated New Year! I must say I am soooooo happy that nasty 2008 is gone. What a rotten year that was. If you had a good 2008, power to you, but personally mine sucked dinasaur eggs.

May 2009 be a wonderful year for us all!

Oops, It’s Snot Christmas

2008-12-26T10:43:00.000-08:00

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I thought it was Christmas but it’s snot. Okay, bad pun. But seriously, all I wanted for Christmas was a clear nasal passage. I didn’t get it. In fact, I’m actually snottier if possible. But I’m nothing if not generous and I shared my Christmas snottiness with my hubby. So instead of loading up the car at 5am today and heading to Maryland, here we sit, drinking orange juice and slurping down gallons of won-ton soup. Our head colds seem to hit last night as we went to bed. Within 2 hours of laying in bed unsuccessfully trying to sleep, I finally went downstairs and slept the rest of the night in the recliner. Not a comfortable position I must admit. We both woke up around 10am and decided to try to make the Maryland trip tomorrow, or maybe even next month. Just not today.

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Christmas was a happy affair other than our head colds. Jas spent Christmas Eve here and it was such a pleasure to see her excitement. There is nothing like having a child in the house at Christmas. There should be a law which dictates every household should have a child in it at Christmas time. She was very excited and pleased that Santa left her a skateboard, an American Girl doll, beauty parlor chair for said doll, clothes for the doll too, a race track set, childs sewing machine, sea monster lab, sour candy making kit, etc, etc, etc. There were a lot of things under the tree for Jas. It was a good Christmas. I hope yours was just as nice!

Oops, Santa is Coming

2008-12-24T05:51:00.000-08:00

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Whadda ya know, more of my Christmas decorations. Woo-hoo! Today’s fare is my prized Christmas Village. I’ve collected village pieces for years. I actually was given my first house in Dec 1992 from a dear lady named Claire. I didn’t start putting up a Christmas Village until maybe 1997 or 1998. Somewhere around that time. And it’s just grown over the years.

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Now I have three Christmas Villages. The Victorian village, which I have around the mantle. A woodsy village which has deer, bear, log homes and a rustic woodsy look. And finally, my sweets village. The sweets village has gingerbread houses, a gumdrop shop, snowmen, a Christmas coffee shop and all sorts of yummy houses with candy pieces hung on them. (Not real candy) This year I only put up the Victorian village.

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Jas is here today and will stay through tomorrow, returning to her mother at noon on Christmas day. In honor of her being here for Christmas Eve we have decided to have a small Christmas Eve buffet tonight. Normally we have a party every Christmas Eve with a huge buffet spread out. It’s really something to behold. The hubster smokes a pork butt for pulled pork sandwiches, and smoked teriyaki chicken wings as well as BBQ chicken wings. And we have the best homemade spinach artichoke dip in the world (which can be found in my cookbook by the way). And tons, absolutely tons of other foods. This year we aren’t making as much as we normally do, but there will be two kinds of smoked chicken wings, mini weenies in BBQ sauce, spinach artichoke dip with tortilla chips, pies, cookies, veggies and ranch dip and a host of other nibbles. Then on Christmas morning, every year, the hubster makes the most magnificent cinnamon buns (also found in my cookbook thank you very much). They look and taste like Cinnabon’s cinnamon rolls. They are to die for. And yes, the hubster is making those in the morning. Come on by about 8am, will toss a roll slathered with cream cheese icing your way and a cup of java.

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As for Christmas Day, the menu has varied over the years. There was the year the hubster smoked a crown roast of pork. He had to do it in the garage because there was a blizzard outside. It was kind of funny because our neighbor, Max, came over to let us know our garage was on fire because he saw smoke billowing out of the garage door. It was just the smoke from the smoker. That was also the year that we ate the sides at Christmas dinner and had to eat the pork later around nine at night because the pork took so long to cook due to the cold temps. And we have done spiral sliced honey hams in the past as well as a smoked or fried turkey a time or two. Our favorite seems to be Prime Rib! That is what we had last year and will be making this year. The hubster is smoking a prime rib roast. I am making homemade cranberry/orange sauce along with killer mashed potatoes. Killer mashed potatoes are fingerling potatoes, mashed with a small amount of cream cheese, sour cream, butter and heavy cream. To die for! We will make a merlot reduction sauce for the potatoes and to drizzle over the beef, should anyone want to. I personally will just be using a small amount of horseradish for my beef. And then there are the baby portabella mushrooms sautéed with fresh garlic and shallots, finished off with a white wine reduction. Not to be forgotten is the french green beans and sour dough rolls. I blanch the thin, tender green beans and then just before dinner is served I sauté the green beans in a small amount of olive oil with fresh herbs, kosher salt and fresh cracked black pepper, just until tender-crisp. I am getting hungry just thinking about it. We go all out for Christmas day dinner. Greg likes to make a homemade coconut cake for dessert but this year, since we are going out of town the day after Christmas, we will just be having the pies, leftover from Christmas Eve. And somewhere in between all of the cooking and eating we will manage to open a few presents.

Now I'd better quit blogging and get in that kitchen and start cooking. I hope Santa brings you everything you want. Don't forget to leave him some milk and cookies. And as my kids always did, some carrots for the reindeer because they have the hardest job of all.
Merry Christmas!

Oops, We Have Christmas Spirit

2008-12-22T10:29:00.001-08:00

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I bring you the Oopsy Daisy household in all it’s Christmas glory. This year I didn’t decorate anywhere near what I normally would. We really scaled it back. But we do have some Christmas spirit as you can see by the pictures. How could you not have Christmas spirit when you have three Christmas trees in your house. The large one in the front room (pictured above), the small shiny red one in the TV room (pictured below), and the small shiny green one in Jas’s room (which I didn’t take a picture of yet).

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This tree adorns our TV room. We haven’t decided which tree Santa will leave the presents under yet, but considering all the presents my son has hidden in his closet for Jas, I would say only the large tree will be able to fit them all.

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The stockings may not have been hung by the chimney with care, but the Christmas cards sure were hung by the water cooler with care. Does that count?

Tomorrow I will post pictures of my cute Christmas Village.

Oops, it’s a Christmas Party

2008-12-21T13:58:00.001-08:00

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I would insert some really awesome pictures of the Christmas party I went to last night, but I was having so much fun that I forgot to even pull my camera out of my purse. So I’ll put a pic of the hubster above from our shopping excursion at the party store. The hubster and I had a great time even though he told everyone at the party that I had farted in bed the night before and almost killed him. I swear I could have almost killed him at that moment when he said that. Isn’t there something in the marriage vows that states “And thou shalt NOT snitch on beloved spouse when beloved spouse accidentally makes a delicate tinkley noise in her sleep.” Yup, I’m pretty sure there was a line in the vows that went something like that. Besides, I think that anything anyone does in their sleep should not be held against them. (Or against their husbands leg either according to him).

The hubster spilt that little detail of the ONE time I made a "tinkley noise" in bed in the midst of playing this awesome game, Apples to Apples. It was the first time he or I had played that game and we absolutely loved it. It’s the sort of game that is best played in a group situation. But that just gives you an excuse to have more people over, right?

And since it was a writers group Christmas party we had to play several rounds of the word game where someone starts a story, then the next person appends a sentence on it and the next person adds another sentence to the story, until people run out of story ideas or someone pees their pants from laughing so hard. Fortunately no one peed their pants, but it was close.

Signs You're Sick of the Holidays

2008-12-19T10:36:00.000-08:00

- 10 -
You've got red and green bags under your eyes

- 9 -
You're serving reindeer pot pie

- 8 -
When you hear, "Sleigh bells ring, are you listenin'?," you scream, "No! I'm not listening!"

- 7 -
You climb on your roof and start shooting carolers in the ass with your BB gun

- 6 -
You think you hear your Christmas tree taunting you.

- 5 -
Instead of spending time with family, you're watching some guy make photo copies

- 4 -
You're busted for running through town wearing nothing but mistletoe.

- 3 -
You've got eggnog coming out of your ears. (Eggnog Latte in my case, but I lurve it!)

- 2 -
Your standard response, "And happy holidays to you too, you bastard"

- 1 -
Two words: tinsel rash

Oops, All I want for Christmas

2008-12-14T10:37:00.000-08:00

Ho Ho Ho, Marry frigging Christmas. That about sums it up for me this year. It's a crappy end to a crappy year as far as I am concerned. I got nothing, absolutely nothing accomplished this year. This year sucked. And to put the icing on the cupcake, at Thanksgiving my mother in law came here and gave me her horrible plague, which I have had ever since. Everyday, at least two or three times, I can be heard complaining about it. Just makes me mad. But then again, I am so sick and miserable that everything makes me mad these days. Is it too much to ask to be able to breathe clearly? That's all I want for Christmas, clear nasal passages. Come on Santa, pony up with some oxygen.

The day after Christmas will find the hubster and I driving to Maryland again, bright and early. I get the pleasure of spending five days with his mother and sister while he gets the fun task of riding to New York City and Boston with his trucker brother and law in his 18-wheeler. I wanted to ride in the 18-wheeler too until I found out they have to take showers at truck stops. Then spending time in Ocean City with the hubsters mom and sister sounded pretty damned good to me.

In the gloom and doom of my present mucus filled life I do have a bright, shining ray of sunshine. It is called Eggnog Latte! And behold, we shall bring you tidings of great joy which we shall name Eggnog Latte. And all was right with the world. My sadness however, returns when I realize that when January arrives my eggnog lattes disappear from the menu. Life can be cruel, oh so cruel.

Oops, Another Roadtrip

2008-12-05T08:38:00.001-08:00

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Just about the time I finished unpacking from the last trip to MD it's time to pack for another jaunt there. No one died this time - yet. The hubster wants to do a drive-along with his brother in law in order to see if he might have an interest in becoming a truck driver. I on the other hand, would stay in Ocean City with the sister in law for the week, and shop, walk on the beach, shop, go to movies, shop, eat out and shop. And did I mention I would be shopping? A tough job but someone has to do it.

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Our only decision at this point is do we go at the end of this coming week or wait until the week after? I have a feeling we won't be home for Christmas either way. A shame, because I was hoping to spend Christmas in Key West this year. Oh well, there is always next year.

Son in law update: He landed in Kuwait earlier this week and will be finishing his journey and hitting the sand pit from Hell in a few days. Yup, the big I. Please keep him and my daughter and grandpug in your thoughts and prayers, as well as the rest of the soliders that defend our country.

Oops, I'm a WINNER

2008-11-25T10:57:00.000-08:00

Every year I swear I will never win Nanowrimo (National Novel Writing Month) and every year I somehow manage to squeak by. This year I have not only won five days before the deadline, but I have a word count of over 60,000 which well exceeds the required 50,000 words. All while having the busiest month of the year. Yes, I rock. I'm a winner!

Oops, Reunited

2008-11-16T06:38:00.000-08:00

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My daughter and her hubby made is safely from Germany. Although, when the customs agent in Chicago said to them "welcome home soldiers" my daughter lost it and started crying. We are all relaxing in a very nice condo on the beach now, enjoying being with family. Her hubbys parents were able to drive down from Indy to Maryland as well and are just a couple of buildings down from our condo.

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But did I mention the awesome-ness of your cono being right on the boardwalk? I am talking, amusements, stores, tee shirts, rides, Thrashers french fries, cotton candy, funnel cakes, ocean, fishing, fun, fun, FUN! We are all having a great time and hope this week never ends. How fitting that something so positive should come out of a death. And I have to say this, the Red Cross ROCKS! Give donation to them the next time you are donating to a worthy cause. They had Brooke and Ben on a plane in less than 24 hours after I called them.

Oops, a Death

2008-11-13T20:27:00.000-08:00

Monday was my birthday, right? Of course it was, I wuldn't lie about that even though I tried to ignore it. I get a call on Tuesday. I find out my evil ex husband died on my birthday. Took me two days, but It's confirmed. How weird it that? Who says God doesn't have a sense of humor? He died of congestive heart failure and wasn't found until the day after my birthday.

Since my daughter is on the Army base in Germany I called the Red Cross. The Red Cross got her and Sgt hubby seats on the next military transport to Baltimore. So we are all going to Ocean City MD tomorrow (Friday), including Soldier Boys parents to be with them. My husbands aunt and uncle own a vacation condo on the ocean in Ocean City and are letting us have it for the entire weekend and week. So we are all staying there and having an awesome family reunion. Thank you Army, thank you Red cross, thank you oh mean one for dying, Like my current hubby said said, the ex never did anything good in his life, it's only fitting that something good should come out of his death. What a sad thing. And after 5 wives and 2 kids he died family-less and friend-less. How sad. As evil as he was it's a sad way for anyone to end up. The moral of the story is cherish your family and friends because they may be the ones to have to bury you. What a lesson, wow. You know what this is don't you? It's karma.

I don't know why I feel like a 20 pound brick has been lifted off my shoulders.

Oops, A Bad Day

2008-11-10T13:44:00.000-08:00

You know your birthday is going to suck when you are awakened at four am not by birthday greetings, but by your husband saying “You might want to get up, someone just stole the car out of the driveway.” Life gets a little better when you find out it is actually your oldest sons 2007 mustang. But then it goes downhill again when you realize the car loan is in your name too. And that was just the high points of the day. Can I just go back to bed and start this day over? Better yet, how about we merely outlaw birthday and never have another one?

Oops, It's Only Death

2008-11-08T19:31:00.000-08:00

This blog is temporarily interrupted due to the flu. No, wait. I had a flu shot just a month ago. So this horrible, gut wrenching, snot slinging, lung hacking, achy breaky, pleasure cruise I’ve been on for the last seven days must just be merely death. Good to know.

Oops, It Was Halloween

2008-11-01T06:34:00.000-07:00

Who is this scary looking child and what has she done with my granddaughter? EEK!!!! Last night this little goblin appeared at my door pretending to be my sweet little granddaughter. Pierced lip, multiple ear piercings? Black lipstick? Dyed black hair with pink streaks? Oh no! Gothic zombies got hold of my granddaughter and turned her into one of them. YEEEEEEEKKKKKk…… Of course, I have been known to have pink streaks in my hair too, but that’s a secret.

Last night was also my long awaited TAPS Live show. Yes, the ghost hunters were on my television for seven hours of live ghost chasing. It turned out to be seven hours of bad video feeds, missed cues and plain boring-ness. And if that isn’t a word, it is now!

The highlight of my Halloween, other than the gothic zombie at my door, was going to the movies yesterday morning. The hubster and I went to see Zack and Miri do a Porno. It was just so-so. Wait until it comes out on video. Since we arrived early at the theater, we went into The Secret Life of Bees for 20 minutes before our movie started. There was a chatty elderly couple in there. By the way, The Secret Life of Bees was really good for the 20 minutes of it that I saw. I am going to see the whole thing sometime next week I think. When our movie was over I was amused to see the chatty elderly couple talking (loudly) to the manager. She was ranting and raving because another elderly woman had asked her to be quiet during the movie. She was yelling “I come here every Friday morning and I see that woman in here every Friday morning too. My talking never bothered her before. I paid my money and if I want to talk during the movie I can talk during the movie and she don’t have no “bidness” telling me what to do. Who do she think she is? I come here every Friday you know.” It was pretty funny.

Oops, Its Warm

2008-10-28T20:03:00.000-07:00

The week of October 11, 2002 was a bad week for me. You see, I landed my butt in the hospital for 8 days with a nasty case of acute pancreatitis. I could have nothing by mouth other than a few ice chips. At first I was in too much pain to want anything to eat. After a couple of days of watching television commercials from my hospital bed and I was hungry. I asked my co-worker to sneak me in a chocolate bar. She refused. I begged the hubster to bring me in a bag of pretzels. He refused (and told on me). Then I bribed my daughter to bring me candy corn. I let her use my credit card to stock her new apartment with groceries in exchange for bringing me a bag of candy corn. Oh the stupidity. You see, insulin is made in the pancreas, so when you have pancreatitis you generally have some serious diabetes problems going on. They would take my blood every morning at 3am. One day they came in and said I had serious problems going on and were going to have to start me on insulin because my blood sugars were in the high 400’s. I was stupid, it never occurred to me that I had started eating the candy corn the evening prior. So I kept eating the candy corn and my blood sugar kept getting higher. My husband was told about my health problems and rising blood sugars. It was discussed with my daughter. We were still keeping the candy corn a secret between the two of us. Then the guilt got to be too much for her and she snitched on me. The hubster took my candy corn. {{{{sob}}}}. It was for my own good. Now, as I sit here with another bag of hidden candy corn in my desk drawer I can’t help but think fondly of my secret stash of candy corn in 2002. It may have been bad for me, but man did I ever enjoy it. Thanks Brooke!

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We made our annual trek up to country roads of Noblesville yesterday to buy a rick of firewood for our woodstove. Last October when we were on the way to buy a rick we were rear-ended by a young woman on a cell phone. We were stopped in traffic and she was going 50 MPH. This year I was nervous every time a car got behind us in Noblesville. They aren’t known for their good driving up there you know. In fact, we did have to incidents where we almost got rear ended yesterday. Fortunately we made it home safe and sound and with firewood. Just for your reference, a 2005 Nissian Pathfinder (which is by the way a big lemon) just barely fits a rick of wood. I don’t think we could have fit one more stick in that thing. It was packed tighter than a sardine can. Then came the unloading. I can honestly say I unloaded at least one third of that rick, if not half. I can also honestly say I am stupid and overdid it and have been paying for it ever since. I have been hopped up on pain meds today and resting my aching back all day. But, I must say, I have been roasty, toasty and warm as a bug in a rug with that nice firewood burning in the woodstove all day. So when my eldest son came home from work this afternoon and told me that there were snow flurries this morning when he left for work at 6am, and more snow flurries expected tomorrow morning, I really didn’t care. Ain’t it great!

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Oops, Orange Hair Means Orange Soup

2008-10-27T10:51:00.000-07:00

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If you will recall my post a few weeks back about how I am turning orange, it is true, I may have exaggerated the picture. But the truth of the matter is that I am indeed turning orange. My hair used to be blonde. Now, thanks to our rusty water, it is orange. You can’t get a full comprehension from this picture of exactly how orange my hair is, but believe me, it’s orange.

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When colder weather hits I get cooking urges. There is nothing like the smell of food simmering away on the stovetop or baking in the oven on a chilly fall day. Am I right? Come on, you know I am. It makes you feel all homey and comforted inside your soul doesn’t it? Well it does to me at least. Today’s luncheon repast was split pea soup. Ever since I saw the segment on the Food Paradise show (on the Travel channel) about Anderson’s Spilt Pea soup, I had to have it. I’m not in the position to hop on my Lear Jet right now to fly out to Calif to have a bowl so I did the next best thing, I made it in my own little kitchen with my own little hands. Sorry Andersons, even though I have never tasted your soup I think I’ve improved upon it. I found their recipe online and added a ham hock (theirs was vegetarian) and some minced garlic. I also substituted half of the water for chicken stock. At first I was afraid the soup was going to turn out orange, because I grated the carrots instead of chopping them. Seriously, I had orange stock. It kinda matched my orange hair. Does orange hair mean you will have orange soup? Is thta how that works? It turned out all right in the end though and was green. How did it taste though? All I can say is YUMMY! This soup is yummy for your tummy. Good to the last drop! It warms you up from the inside out. I’ll put the recipe below for those of you that would like to try this delicious, good for your soul, soup. Try it folks, it’s a winner for sure.

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Anderson's Split Pea Soup Recipe Improved

32 oz container chicken stock
3 cups cups water
1 small ham hock
1 ½ cups dried green split peas (do not soak)
1 stalk celery, finely minced
1 large carrot, shredded
1/2 cup onion, finely minced
1/4 teaspoon ground thyme
1 dash cayenne pepper
1 bay leaf
Salt to taste
Pepper to taste

Combine chicken stock, water and ham hock in a soup pot. Bring to boil. Add peas, celery, carrots, onions and seasonings. Boil at a low boil for 20 minutes, uncovered. Reduce heat and simmer until split peas are tender (approximately 45 minutes to an hour). Puree soup in a blender, 1 or 2 cups at a time. Return to soup pot and heat until warm throughout. Serve.

Note: Andersons does not use a ham hock. Their’s is totally vegetarian. Feel free to make this without a ham hock if you like.

At Andersons resturaunt they serve this soup with an array of toppings for the consumer to place on top of their soup such as minced ham pieces, bacon bits, cheese, croutons, green onions, etc. It’s great served plain too. Enjoy!

Oops, Its a Ball

2008-10-26T11:16:00.001-07:00

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Congrats to my son in law for making Sergeant in the US Army! What an awesome promotion, eh? They went to an Officers Ball and the picture above is, I assume, prior to leaving for the ball. Brooklyn says they had a wonderful evening. They both certainly looked spiffy. If the picture looks a little odd, it’s because the one picture my daughter sent me of the two of them together, she was (of course) cheesing it up for the camera in true Brooklyn style. That’s my gal, just like her momma. So being a crafty sort of gal (aka sneaky) I morphed them into the same photo. A mom’s gotta do what a mom’s gotta do.

Oops, Cookie Time

2008-10-24T10:11:00.000-07:00

What do you do when you are in between writing chapters and blog surfing has lost it’s appeal? Make gingerbread pumpkins of course! It’s a true win/win situation. You get exercise by welding a rolling pin. You get the satisfaction of making something truly awesome. And best of all, you get a yummy treat to nosh on while you try to hack away at writing another chapter in your tale of vampire love. See, win/win.

Oops, I'm The Plain Blog Police

2008-10-23T19:20:00.000-07:00

When I am hard and heavy into my writing I do all sorts of things to keep from writing. (Defeats the purpose, I know). I will play on Millsberry, I will put moustaches on all the people in my family christmas pictures from years past and in the case of today I will blog surf. Excuse me but what is up with all the plain, boring, blah blogs? I'm not talking about the writing. I am talking about the blog template. Plain Jane, boring, standard comes free with Blogger templates. Not even a pink or blue one. but white or gray. Come on people! Throw a header up there. Change up the color. Do something! Part of me wants to email all these plain boring blog design people and offer to do a free blog design makeover for them. But then I really wouldn't have any time for my writing. White and gray though? Come on!

Oops, It's Wine

2008-10-21T10:27:00.000-07:00

Oops wine? Who knew? Did I somehow create and bottle wine in my sleep? Or did Oops thieves sneak in my dreams in the middle of the night and steal my shtick? I'm going with the latter. They could at least send me a free bottle. Or a tee shirt.

Oops, New Neighbors

2008-10-13T12:35:00.000-07:00

This might as well be Friday the 13th instead of Monday the 13th as far as I am concerned. The “Adam Henry’s” (A.H.’s; figure it out) next door are putting a new roof on the house next door that is being flipped and the considerate roofing crew has driven across our front lawn several times. They even parked on our front lawn once. They told us today, when we asked them not to drive across our lawn, that they would be working over there at least three more weeks and even adding a trench of sorts to help with some sort of drainage problems that property has. Oh goody, backhoes. As if that didn’t raise my blood pressure enough, then I look out the back window and see the people that are in the process of buying the house behind us. All I will say is I’M NOT HAPPY! It’s like the worst possible people you could imagine for neighbors. It’s like my worst nightmare come true. (And no, they are not Hispanic. I don’t judge people on the color of their skin; I judge them on their actions. And Brooke, yes they are WORSE than the people that lived in the rental house across the street a few years ago). And couple that with the rental house across the street from us which is currently for rent and the pack of redneck hellions that looked at it on Sunday and stayed for 45 minutes, thus most likely renting it. Just moms and pops along with their 5 kids and one in the oven. Moving into a 900 square foot house with 3 of the tiniest bedrooms I have ever seen. The kids were chasing each other with sticks, trying to beat a squirrel to death, trying to beat the faith healers dog with a stick and taking turns punching the window in the front door, just to name a few of their friendly, cute games. Mom and Dad didn’t seem to be bothered by it. Actually I think Dad might have been too drunk as he was stumbling quite a bit and Mom was more concerned about chain smoking. I think she was chain smoking because she was smoking for two, therefore she wanted to make sure the baby got it’s share of nicotine as well. At least she is thoughtful, eh? This neighborhood has changed so much and not for the better. I think it is well past time to get out of Dodge. Where to go is the problem. What to do with the rest of our lives and where to go. Too many decisions.

The hubster STILL hasn’t found a job. I will reserve my comments on that for a non-public forum. His Mom continues her weekly phone call to see how we are doing, which I have to say we both appreciate. It’s nice to know someone is there for you emotionally when you are going through tough times. She let it slip in last weeks phone call however, that some family members are upset about her calling us once a week and thinks she should only call once a month, if that. They said that they stopped calling us because not only was it depressing for them to hear about how ad things are going for the hubster, but also they felt they should leave us alone right now until we got our lives in order. WTF? She wouldn’t say which family member said that, but it could have been more than one family member because no one else in the family is calling or emailing us. They are all giving us a wide berth. I guess we just depress them too much. How bad of us. Maybe the hubster should go out and get a job so his family won’t be so depressed. You know, it scares me the way some people think, it really does. It’s like when I got cancer in 1990. Almost all of my friends dropped off the face of the earth. Later, after my operation and treatments, one tried to come back into my life. She told me that the reason she was scare during my treatments was that it was too upsetting for her and she wanted to make sure I was going to make it before she opened herself up emotionally. WTF? Needless to say I dropped her like a hot potato. That’s not a friend in my book.

(I stole this pic from Gunter. He is a much better photographer than I)

Now that I’ve complained throughout this entire post I’d better get back to my vampires and shapeshifters since I have a writers group meeting tonight. I don’t want to make it seem like I do nothing but complain lately however so I will leave you with this thought – the fall leaves are absolutely spectacular this week are almost at their peak. A true sight to behold, which fills my heart with joy. That’s one of the best parts about Fall.

There now, I said something positive! Auf Wiedersehen!

Oops, I'm Changing Race

2008-10-05T13:02:00.000-07:00

Hurray, I’m still alive! Well, barely, but nonetheless. Life is still the same old depressing blah blah that it’s been all year long. 2008 has been one crappy year I gotta say. Nothing new to report really. Some days are better then others. There have been some pretty depressing things that have occurred but there have been some freaking awesome things that have occurred as well.

Something depressing is happening but I am hesitant to mention it. Oh what the heck - I am turning black and orange. Or rather, I turned orange and now I am turning black. You see, in Indiana the water is very hard and mineraly so you have to have a water softener. The water is not fit to drink or cook with or even to bathe in. It’s disgusting. Our water softener stopped working a couple of months ago. First my hair and toe nails started turning orange. Then my finger nails turned orange. Now my finger tips and nails are turning black from the mineral build up. We can’t even wash our clothes in our home anymore because everything turns orange. It’s the damnedest thing I ever saw. It’s literally disgusting. And the more I wash my hands the blacker they turn. Unfortunately I am an obsessive hand washer so I am getting the worst of the situation. It’s going to be extremely expensive to replace our water softener because of the plumbing issues involved. So by the time my money arrives (I’m expecting a big check) and we can replace the water softener I may have to change my race on my drivers license. Good thing I’m fond of orange.

Oops, Nosy Neighbors

2008-09-04T09:28:00.000-07:00

There is a certain woman on our street that has made it her job to be the eyes and ears of the neighborhood. Every neighborhood has a person like that I think. I’m sure your neighborhood has one too. Matters are made worse by the fact that her daughter is in the same Brownie (girl scouts) troop as my granddaughter Jas. This morning the kids are at the bus stop as Jas and I load up the chariot to drive her to school. So just as we get to the end of the street the bus comes and we are stuck at the bus stop until the school bus leaves. No big deal. But then this woman walks over to my car. “Did Jas spend the night with you? She should ride the bus if she is spending the night with you. You should call the schools transportation department. Is Jas moving in with you? Oh, watching her before and after school while her mother works? Well where does her mother work? What time does her mother have to be at work? What time does she get off?” I felt like I had been through a police interrogation by the time she let me leave. Whew! The hubster says it’s because her husband was in the military for many years. He said she must have honed her “interrogation” skills on base. I’m sure my daughter, who lives on an Army base in Germany, knows many women exactly like my neighbor. Interestingly enough, the neighbor lived on a Military base in Germany for many years.

Oops, Naps are overrated

2008-09-03T09:53:00.000-07:00

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I have always played an active role in my granddaughters life, and been glad to do it. When she was in Kindergarten and First grade I picked her up every afternoon from school. The school would call me when she would get sick in school, instead of calling her mother. I’m not sure how that came about or why but I didn’t mind it. I was the one who played room mother last year when Jasmine was in second grade, and set up the “Gingerbread house making party” for her class. This year I thought I would take a break from all that. I was under the impression that Jas’s mother wasn’t working right now and that Jas was riding the bus home from school every afternoon. I was wrong.

I called Jas’s mother yesterday to see if Jas could spend the afternoon and evening with me today. She said yes and asked if I wanted to pick Jas up from the after school program or if I wanted her to drop Jas off at 6:30 in the evening when she picked her up from the after school program at school. WHAT? You mean to tell me that for the last 2 weeks my precious little granddaughter has been sitting at school until 6:30 in the evening each and every school day? WTF? It fills me with horror. Who is giving her cookies and milk in the afternoon? Do they have a TV set where she can watch Sponge Bob cartoons at four o’clock? School ends at 2:35 so that’s a huge chuck of time to be sitting un school until 6:30 pm. The horror! So Gwanma to the rescue.

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I am picking Jas up from school at 2:35 this afternoon. And this evening when her mommy picks her up I am having a little chat with her and telling her I will watch Jas every afternoon after school. Well, with the exception of the one week that I will be in Wilmington and Charlotte NC soon. I am just disgusted that her mother didn’t approach me and ask if I would or could watch Jas after school. I feel bad about it like perhaps I may have been unapproachable this summer. And with our lives going through so many changes what with moving to MD and then moving back and being so unsure what we were going to do with our lives, I suppose I can see where her mom may have felt uncomfortable approaching me about watching Jas. She should know though that I would lay my life down for that little girl and no matter what she should let me know if there is something I can do to help Jasmines way of life. And I plan on telling her so tonight.

In a way I am relieved to be getting back into the old routine of having Jas every afternoon but in another way I will miss my afternoon naps. Naps are over rated anyway, right?

Oops, Our House Is A Home Again

2008-09-02T17:06:00.000-07:00

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Our house is beginning to feel like a home again now that we have my son’s doggie living here. We sort of hope he doesn’t want her back. Look how happy she looks in the picture above. Doesn’t she seem to be saying “I want to be yours forever”. Yeah, I thought that too. And yes, her tongue is purple. In fact, I took steps today in the direction of keeping dear little Chloe forever. I bought her a pink bed. The hubster was offended that I bought pink instead of something like pit bull brown. But Chloe told me pink is her favorite color, so how could I refuse. I also bought her a few toys because it was breaking our hearts to see her play with Moose’s toys. I know Moose is in heaven watching Chloe run in his back yard and he is happy she is happy and has such a large yard to run in now. But our hearts will always have a little piece that is broken because of our grief in missing Moose. He was a good friend. Even though he smelled bad. RIP dear friend, you are sorely missed. :-(

Oops, A Silver Lining

2008-09-01T12:09:00.001-07:00

(Actually mine is lime green)

Well bite my butt. Just when you think things are honky-dorry, life kicks you in the back of the knees again. So there I am, walking along through Hobby Lobby this morning, minding my own business. Actually I was getting a mood lift from walking through the Christmas decorations aisle on my way to the 30 % off book lights. (I like to read in bed at night and my Hello Kitty book light is starting to die). When all of a sudden - - - BAM! It hit! The holey, moley, nukker fudding, pain of all pains right square, smack dab in the pancreas. Folks, we bring you pancreatitis courtesy of the pancreas from hell. Damned pancreas. I’ll tell you what though, no darned pancreas was going to keep ME from a shopping trip. So I took my sweet time finding that book light. I even browsed the 40 % off Christmas ornaments and bought a couple of those too. (Brooke, you’ll LOVE what I bought you). Any-hoo, I squeal tires pulling into the driveway about an hour after the pain started and with no time to spare. Because one block away from making it home the bile started rising in the back of my throat. Oh hello old friend (I call my bile Bernie since he burns). Gee I missed ya. I dash in the house, and run up the stairs, slam the bathroom door and Bleeeeeeccchhhhh... Barely made it, but the point is, I made it. The hubster is a smart man (for today at least) and has learned over the last few years (since I’ve had chronic pancreatitis) not to enter the bathroom when I am blowing chunks. He has learned this lesson the hard way. Blowing chunks is a very private thing for me and I don’t care to share that with the hubster. I’ll share a lot of things with him but blowing chunks and cheesecake are two of the things I refuse to share. So why am I in such a great mood when I’ve been stricken with pancreatitis? Thanks to the joy of pancreatitis I don’t have to cook dinner today. In fact, I get to lay in bed and be waited on hand and foot. (well, maybe not the foot part). The hubster is bringing me all sorts of medicines, cold bottles of water, books, the laptop, etc. And the back rubs! Ooohhhh the back rubs. Oh-La-La! See, every cloud has a silver lining. Ain’t it great!

Oops, What a Difference

2008-08-30T16:16:00.001-07:00

What a difference a day makes. I’m no longer depressed. At least not for now. Last night at ten o’clock in the evening I picked up one of my many notebooks and before I knew it I had eight pages of a new paranormal romance written. The story has just flowed out of me. It’s great to have words flowing from your fingers. Today I wrote a grand total of 2500 words in one afternoon. I’m normally a 500 to 1000 word a day gal if I’m lucky. So to have the words flow like that. Well it’s nothing short of amazing.

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I have a notebook obsession. I have perhaps 4 notebooks that are barely used and maybe ten that are mostly full. I can not help myself when I get in a store and see the notebooks. They are like purses. I’ve never met a purse I didn’t like and I’ve never met a notebook I didn’t like. My granddaughter is the same way. She is a notebook junkie just like her Gwanma.

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Speaking of Jasmine, I found the hubster in Jas’s bedroom tonight after dinner. Jas has a 30 inch High Definition flat screen TV in her bedroom at our house. Well, doesn’t every eight year old? Actually we are storing it for her daddy. Anyway, I can understand the hubster laying with the dog on the bed. But the teddy bear? The hubster really worries me sometimes. Any by the way, in the above picture I caught Jas’s doggie doing the “stripper stretch”. That is what we’ve named the odd stretch she does many times during each day. She’ll stretch one leg out, then the other leg and then do the front, etc. Quite the odd thing to watch I must admit.

Oops, Depression Sinks In

2008-08-29T13:54:00.000-07:00

We now interrupt this blog to bring you DEPRESSION! Hop on the band wagon and get your dose of depression today. Why have a good weekend when you can wallow in misery and self absorption. Depression is an underrated emotion, get it today before it’s all gone.

My eldest son is moving to Maryland early tomorrow morning. In an odd way I am jealous. Not of the crappy, backwards town he is moving to (which DOES smell like chicken poop), but I am jealous of his new beginning. I want a new beginning. I hope it works out for him.

My hubby stated yesterday that ever since he has been back in Indy our home depresses him and doesn’t really feel like a home. I totally understand. It doesn’t seem like a home because our doggie passed away in April when the hubster was working in MD. Now we really are going through some grieving because we are now the owners (perhaps temporary) of my eldest son’s doggie. She was Moose’s best friend (girlfriend) and we can tell she misses Moose too. So having her here and not having Moose, well it’s just depressing.

That could be why the hubby is trying to get a job in North Carolina. Well that and because I want to be closer to Carolina Beach.

What do you do when you are depressed? You join a children’s online community and ace their games (because you are an adult…duh) and therefore earn scads of Mills Bucks and have the best furnished house on the internet. I even added a second floor to my house today and furnished the second floor too. I think I’ll add a hot tub to the back yard, maybe next to my in ground pool. Yup, depression makes you do weird stuff, eh?

Oops, I Can Die Happy

2008-08-19T16:44:00.001-07:00

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I can die a happy woman now. What ever horrors may come my way be damned, for at this moment in time I am deliriously happy. My favorite author responded to my email and sent me (lil ol me) a personal response. Oh happy day! The joy of it! Only a true book lover could possibly understand the joy and utter thrill of getting a personal email from Marilyn Sachs. My daughter could understand the thrill of it because she was weaned on Marilyn Sachs books. And my granddaughter can understand the joy as well because for her eighth birthday in June I passed one of my sets of Marilyn Sach’s books down to her. (A Gwanma has to keep a set for herself after all).

I find when I am in a writing mood I tend to read a great deal. Hey, I need all the inspiration I can get these days. So I have been spending my crappy summer reading under my eyes go blurry. I’ve even been reading in the middle of the night with my special book light. And yes, I’ve been writing. And writing. And writing. I am afraid to say that my writers block is gone because it might come back. But I have the wonderful problem of not having enough hours in the day because I have so much I want to write but not enough time to write it. Every writer should have that problem.

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I am working on the project that is near and dear to my heart; The Night Watchman. Any of you who have known me long enough know that the Night Watchman is a glorious tale of a woman who moves to Wilmington NC and meets the night watchman for the Battleship North Carolina. They become friends, and perhaps much more. And yes, they do fall in love. A true fact is that there are two ghosts on the Battleship NC. The real night watchman, Danny Bradshaw, claims that one of the ghosts is a playful, harmless blonde haired young man. The other ghost emits evil and is not a nice guy at all. Or maybe he is just ticked off at being offed when he was in the middle of taking a shower (when the torpedo hit in WWII). Both of these ghosts make their way into my book and play a major role in the novel. I have a mere 98,000 words written at this point of which probably 80,000 are sheer crap.

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One of the problems I have been having with the book (for over a year now) is an important scene in gun turret II. That is one area of the ship that I never toured. I toured everything else which was open to the public, but never turret II. So a visit to Wilmington NC is in order very soon. Don’t be surprised if I post some pictures of the hubster and I on the Battleship NC in the next couple of weeks.

Oops, The Worst Nightmare EVER

2008-08-08T05:12:00.001-07:00

The worst thing in the WORLD happened to me on Tuesday. I still am shaking over it. It was HORRIBLE!!!!!!!! Our house is a tri-level. (That means three to people not in the know). I was on the lowest level Tuesday afternoon and fell asleep on the loveseat while reading a book. I wake up and it was really weird. I was awake but not awake. My hand had been dangling on the floor while I was sleeping and I had odd dreams. Scary dreams about snakes and birds in my house. I kept hearing music and ... well I don't know how to explain it. Just weird dreams. Then I go into the kitchen and apparently I fainted according to the hubster. I don't remember it. I remember being in the recliner in the front room on the 2nd level after I fainted.

So I am sitting in the recliner trying to get back to normal. Finally my eyes stop going weird and I start waking up. Next thing I know the hubster goes to the foyer on the first level near the front door, to put on his shoes to start the grill and he yells "OH F**K!" I start screaming and crying and shaking because I know what "OH F**K!" means. It means we have an unwelcome visitor. It means my worst nightmare has come true. It means I'm moving the heck away from this house! I stand up and walk the couple of feet to look at the foyer (while still standing on the 2nd level) and I see IT. IT was coiled up around the hubster's shoes next to my blue crocs. I'LL NEVER WEAR THOSE SHOES AGAIN!!!! I screamed and SCREAMED!!!!!! The hubster had run out in the garage and gotten his work gloves. He picked THE SNAKE up and ran outside with it and threw it over the fence of the empty house next door while I am in the house SCREAMING "KILL IT, KILL IT!!!!!" Now I am scared poopy-less because I don't know if or when it will happen again because we don't know how it got in in the first place. I will NEVER feel safe in this house again. What a NIGHTMARE! AAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oops, A Trip Back in Time

2008-07-11T08:00:00.000-07:00

Note: I just found this post in my “drafts” folder. I would tell you about the rest of the exciting time we had that day but who can remember that far back. After all, it was an entire two weeks ago. Just to screw you guys up, I think I’ll post it on the day we lived it. That way you can say “how did I miss this post? Was I drunk?” Yes, you were probably drunk. But then again, so was I.

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I have been trying to take my granddaughter, Jasmine, on an outing once a week. This week’s special outing was a day at Conner Prairie, an 1800’s settlement. It’s a very interesting settlement. The habitants are dressed in period clothing and stay in character the entire time. If you should ask them where the bathrooms are they will look shocked at the thought of such a prospect and tell you a story about how the Conner’s have quite the fancy outhouse. I made the mistake of asking the pioneer woman who was hand sewing a quilt, if she hand sewed clothing too or if she used a sewing machine for that. She acted quite shocked at the thought of a machine that would do your sewing for you and said such a thing could never replace hand sewing. She told me I talked funny and must not be from these parts. She asked if I were from the city.

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In the kitchens of the houses women and young girls were making foods such as stews and pies and even homemade applesauce. Another visitor asked the woman in the boarding house kitchen if she made pancakes for breakfast for the boarders. The woman looked puzzled and asked many questions about what this “pancake” was and how it was made. Then she said it sounded like a “dodger” which was something she made for breakfast using cornmeal on special occasions or cold winter mornings. You really felt like you were back in the 1800’s. I don’t think I could have made it back then though because flies were everywhere. As the women were cooking flies would be all over the food. Ugh. I do not like flies!

We started off our visit with the Indian village. Jas was most impressed by the fur pelts I think. In fact, she was so impressed that at the end of the day, for her souvenir from the gift shop, she chose a rabbit pelt. A little morbid considering she has had two rabbits in her short lifetime, both of which are no longer with us.

And this point, dear friends, is where I must have fell asleep at the computer, because I never finished this post. In fact, I... ZZZ... zzzz... z.z.z.z... snort... zzzzzzz...

Oops, Out of the Mouth of Babes

2008-07-09T12:57:00.000-07:00

Tuesday I had the pleasure of having my eight year old granddaughter, Jas, spend the day with me. After a morning of riding bikes, pulling weeds and watching Sponge Bob reruns, we headed off to Jas’s favorite Chinese barfette for lunch. On the way she told me a deep dark secret.

“Gwanma” she says, as I am driving the car through traffic. “Gwanma, I’m going to have to go to a dermatologist when I’m a teenager.”

“Why?” I ask. “Does your mommy think you are going to get pimples?”

“No”, she says, “I have male pattern baldness.”

At this point I almost rear-ended the car in front of me. Later, when we were seated at our favorite table, I looked at her hair really close. Hmmm… ‘still nice and thick’ I thought to myself. So I had to ask. “Why do you think you have male pattern baldness?”

“Shhhhh….” She said quickly. Then she lowered her head and whispered in my ear “My mommy says if any more hair comes out on my brush I am going to need a wig before I go to high school.”

Instead of a College Fund, maybe I should start a Wig Fund for her?

Oops, It’s a Birthday

2008-06-29T09:59:00.000-07:00

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Yesterday was my granddaughters eighth birthday. Happy Birthday Jas! It is so hard to believe she is eight already. By all rights she should still be in diapers, toddling around with a teddy bear clutched in her arms. Before I know it she will be asking for a car for her birthday.

Jas had a small birthday party at home. Yes, there was some trampoline jumping which I was involved in, but those pictures will NEVER be posted on the Internet. NEVER! I did learn that trampoline jumping is major fun though.

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Last Thursday night Jas spent the night with me so I could take her to the movies on Friday as a pre-birthday treat. So in typical “Gwanma” fashion I took her to Baskin Robbins on Thursday night for dessert. I bought her the kiddie cone with gummy worms on the side. The kiddie cone has always been more than enough for Jas, as she is a little petite thing. After she ate her kiddie come she wanted another! I purchased the second kiddie cone and she ate all of that one too. My little Jas has graduated to an adult cone I think.

On Friday morning we went on the webcam so she could open the presents her Auntie Brooklyn had sent from Germany, while Auntie Brooklyn watched on the webcam. One of the presents was a beautiful pink bracelet, which Jas hasn’t taken off since she opened it. Auntie Brooklyn’s presents from Germany were a big hit. After the presents we rushed off to the cinema to catch the first showing of Wall-e. What a cute movie. We loved it!

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The movie was mainly about robots falling in love. Wall-e and his cockroach friend (who won’t die) are the only inhabitants left on Earth, as everyone else left for a four year voyage in the Universe 700 years earlier. Clips are shown from older musicals to show humanity before Earth was abandoned. Wall-E, his crush EVE, and all the other robots involved can say little than their name, however, we understand exactly what they mean throughout. It was a fabulous movie. Go see it!

Oops, It's a Flower Weed

2008-06-21T09:31:00.000-07:00

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Flower or weed? That is the question. I don't know the answer to be quite honest with you, but it's pretty so I'm keeping it in my garden. I have a sneaky suspicion that it might be a weed though. Does anyone know?

It seems that snakes like the plant, whatever it is. Because we have found a baby snake by this plant twice in the same week. Did I mention I am deathly afraid of snakes? (Just ask my daughter ... ahem ...)

Meanwhile summer stretches on as does the heat and the Midwest storms. Because of all the standing water the Midwest is suddenly plagued with millions and billions of mosquitoes which have recently hatched. Does anyone know the lifespan of a mosquito? I hope it is short. Because these buggers are nasty, biting ones. The hubster got bit by one right between his eyebrows and it has turned into a huge red bump and looks like someone smacked him in the face with a brick. I swear I didn't. Okay, maybe I did. (just kidding)

Oops, I Should be Grateful

2008-06-10T18:42:00.000-07:00

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I suppose I should be grateful. I don’t live in a mobile home, thus my home isn’t floating out of the neighborhood the way the mobile homes are on the south side of Indy. And although my street is flooded, I can still drive my car down it without getting wet. And my ice cream isn’t melting because I have electricity (for now). So yes, I should be grateful. But late yesterday afternoon when the daily storm rolled in and my neighbors tree was struck by lightening, resulting in a huge tree limb landing on my storage shed and knocking out my electric, I have to say I wasn’t so grateful. In fact I said a four-letter word very loudly. VERY loudly! The electric company was called as was the fire department (the tree was smoking). Actually the tree wasn’t the only thing smoking; those firemen were smoking hot! It was all I could do to not slip in the puddle of drool emanating from my agape mouth. I had not only one firetruck full of hot firemen, but TWO firetrucks. There were about 10 hot firemen in my back yard. Unfortunately the hubby was in the back yard too. Oh well, maybe the hubby will be stuck at the grocery when the next storm hits and the firemen have to come. Within an hour the electric company arrived and fixed the live wire that the tree limb knocked down. They left the tree limb on the wires and my storage shed though. Apparently there is another department that handles that and since they are still busy on the south side of the city from the weekends storms, it could be a week or more before they get to us. In the meantime we have no idea if our storage shed room and fence are damaged from the huge tree limb. It will fall under our neighbors home owners insurance if our shed is indeed damaged. But here is the rude thing. The two guys that live behind us clearly saw that part of their tree is laying on our storage shed and fence but they haven’t had the decency to come over and say anything. The hubby saw them out on their back patio this afternoon and went outside to talk over the fence at them. But they saw him coming and ran in the house like scared rabbits. He wasn’t acting in a mean way; he had a friendly smile on his face. I guess they don’t want to me man enough and own up to their responsibilities. If our shed and or fence is damaged they aren’t going to have a choice.

Oh, and the really screwed up part about the tree limb falling? The storage shed is the absolute worst place for it to fall because most of our belongings are still packed up inside the storage shed. Although we are in Indiana to stay, and halted the sale of our house, we haven’t gotten around to unpacking yet. Maybe we should do that before the next natural disaster hits.

Oops, Enjoy The Ride

2008-06-07T10:35:00.000-07:00

Have you heard? Indiana is flooded! Yes, our landlocked state is now under water. Last month we had the earthquake, now this month we have the floods. It’s always been my dream to have waterfront property. Now, thanks to Mother Nature, I have waterfront property today.

Could be worse (or better), as I could be one of those people living on the South side of Indy in a certain mobile home park. They went to bed last night in their trailer only to wake up this morning as their trailer turned into a houseboat. Great for those that always wanted to live on a houseboat. Sucks for those who prefer dry land. Not to make fun of people’s miseries (although I am good at that) but the news helicopter was hovering over these two young woman who were standing atop the last dry patch of earth around the trailer park. A 2-foot square piece of grass. They are standing there with their animals in a garbage can, waiting for help. This news helicopter keeps hovering over them, filming them and their perils. Then one of the girls looks up at the helicopter and says (I read her lips) “help us for God’s sake!” The news crew continues to merely hover, filming the action. The girls gets pissed at the lack of help and turn to the helicopter and very clearly one of them throws up her hands in a certain gesture and says “f**k you, go away if you aren’t going to help us. Assholes!” Well, maybe they were saying “vacuum”. But whether they were saying vacuum or f**k you, it was clear, they were pissed! I guess I would be too if my life was in jeopardy and a helicopter, which could bring me to safety, merely used me as a news story and wouldn’t help.

But my favorite news story from the trailer park today was the fat woman. The woman and her chunky male counterpart were so fat that the military hummer couldn’t take them to safety. A fire truck had to be dispatched for them to sit on the back of since they were too large to fit inside of it. It was a hook and ladder truck too. A big fire truck. Gotta love their spirit though. They saw the news crews filming from the helicopter and they waved as they swung their feet back and forth in the flood waters, enjoying the ride. That’s what I’m going to do when the fire truck comes to rescue my fat butt from the trailer. I am going to sit back, kick my feet in the water and enjoy the ride.

Oops, A Day of Goodbyes

2008-05-13T16:07:00.000-07:00

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Where to begin? There is so much I shouldn’t really say, some I can’t and some I don’t want to think about much less write. Lets just say major life changes are afoot. At one point we weren’t really sure if we were staying in Indiana and halting the sale of our house, or if we were staying on the Eastern Shore of Maryland or moving to Delaware, or whatever. It was and is very unsettling. Both the hubster and myself flew back to Indiana last Saturday evening, lock stock and barrel. As you can see by the above picture we travel light. We still aren’t really sure what we are doing but we will figure it out eventually. It goes without saying that something very obviously did happen in Maryland that caused the hubster to leave with me. The company that hired him there had misrepresented themselves and it was a bad situation. He has ended his association with that company.

The last day we were there was a day of goodbyes. The hubster and I went to the cemeteries. He went to the Memorial Gardens to say goodbye to his father and I went to Parsons Cemetery to say goodbye to my grandparents and my grandmothers sister. It’s an interesting story about my grandmothers sister. Nina E. Dykes was born in 1912. She was four years younger than my grandmother, Lottie Mae Dykes. She looked up to my grandmother almost like a mother as it was my grandmothers responsibility to keep an eye on her little sister. When Nina was almost twelve, in 1923, she died of cancer. Nina had bone cancer in her leg. My grandmother told me that when she and Nina was on the way home from school one afternoon someone hit Nina across the leg with a stick. And that began her cancer problem. Now I am not sure if I am not remembering that story correctly or if Grandma wasn’t remembering it correctly, but we all realize that one does not get cancer from being hit across the leg with a switch. She did tell me however (and this memory I am sure is correct in both our minds) that she would hear Nina scream in pain when the doctor would pull the packing out of her leg. She said it broke her heart to hear Nina in such pain and it was almost a relief when she passed away and was out of pain. To be sixteen and hearing your beloved younger sister scream in pain as she is dying must be a horrible thing.

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I remember going to Nina’s grave with my grandmother when I was a little girl. I remembered her grave being on a forgotten side of the cemetery, under a leafy tree by a dirt lane. It was in an area of the cemetery where the old stones were covered with moss, making them hard to read. Some of the head stones were hard to read as they had been worn down over time by weather conditions. I like to think they were worn down by loved ones caring hands tracing the contours of the words on the headstone as their hearts brimmed with love and longing for their dearly departed.

When I went to visit my grandparents graves, when I first arrived on the Shore, I vowed to try and find Nina’s headstone and take her flowers. The first Friday I was there I began my quest armed only with a handful of silk flowers and a vague memory of a mossy stone under a shady tree by a dirt lane. It was as of Nina’s hand was clasped in mine, leading me down the dirt path to her final resting place because I went directly to it. I put flowers by her headstone and promised her I would be back.

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It was an odd thing. In the midst of mossy old fashioned headstones dating from the mid 1800’s to the mid 1900’s, Nina’s headstone looked relatively new. Actually it looked a lot like my grandmothers headstone, both in style and in age. My grandmother had passed away December 5, 1995 but had purchased her headstone in the mid 80’s. I think my grandmother bought Nina a new headstone when she bought her own. What a sweet gift for one sister from another.

So on that last day, after I said my goodbye’s to my grandparents, I went to Nina’s grave. I put a bunch of pretty tulips by her headstone and told her I probably wouldn’t be back. I leaned close to her headstone and whispered “goodbye sweet girl, rest in peace.” Then I left.

Oops, I need to barf

2008-05-05T12:18:00.000-07:00

I don’t know if it is the constant smell of chicken poop wafting through the air, or if it is the stress of selling the house without having a house to move into yet, but I feel like crap. I woke up feeling fine this morning. But then, when I was at Panera this morning, using their free WiFi, I had to turn the laptop off suddenly and go back to my brother in laws house and lay down all morning. I wasn’t sure if I was nauseous because of my diabetes, or my springtime allergies or the constant smell of chicken crap, but I was definitely ready to barf. My blood sugar was 55 (which isn’t good) so I attributed my sick feeling to that, drank a coke and slept for a couple of hours. Now I am back at Panera and my head is spinning and I think I am going to barf soon. I think I’ll go back to bed for awhile – QUICKLY! Meanwhile, enjoy a picture from our outing on the Boardwalk Saturday night.

Oops, I have to prove myself

2008-05-03T07:36:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I decided I would stop playing tourist and start doing the things I flew out here to do. First on the list was getting a Maryland bank account. Greg had gathered the names of the various banks and we had checked them out online. We narrowed it down to a couple. I went in bank #1 yesterday and explained I had questions about their checking accounts. I am led into the office of gal who probably made minimum wage.

Me: Do you charge for debit card usage?

Home-girl: Debits cards are only given after you’ve “proven” yourself.

Me: “Proven” yourself? How does one “prove” their selves?

Home-girl: You have to go at least 60 days without bouncing a check, and then we “may” consider giving you one.

Me: I haven’t bounced a check in at least 20 years. Isn’t there someway we can forgo the 60 days?

Home-girl: I don’t reckon so. I don’t know of no-body who was able to “prove” their selves before 60 days.

Me: How do you deposit your paychecks after hours then? And what about ATM usage? I just don’t know how I could survive without my ATM debit card.

Home-girl: Oh no, I wouldn’t use the ATM to deposit your check if I was you. It could take 3 or 4 days at least before your check would hit your account if you put it in the ATM. We don’t even check the ATM box everyday.

Me: ATM box? Isn’t it electronic? You mean you hand enter deposits?

Home-girl: We have to verify them before we deposit them to your account. We can’t take your word that the check is good.

Me: Even a weekly payroll check?

Home-girl: Especially a payroll check.

Me: What about free checking?” Do you have that?

Home-girl: Oh it’s not free; you have to deposit a minimum of $50 to open a checking account.

Me: I understand minimum deposits, but are any service fees associated with your checking accounts?

Home-girl: Yes, you have to have a minimum deposit of $50 to open a checking account.

Me: AAGGHHHHH!!!

Oops, A Photo Blog

2008-05-02T07:20:00.000-07:00

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No, that’s not my new car, it’s my brother in law’s “hobby” car. Doesn’t everyone on the Eastern Shore have one of those? You would be surprised at the numbers of people who do.

Remember that photo blog I promised to put up when I moved to Maryland? Well, although I haven’t moved to Maryland yet, I am visiting this week so why not start the photo blog now. So go to http://terrigrimes.blogspot.com/ to see my photo blog of the Eastern Shore. I can’t promise to update it every day, because I am having to hit free WiFi spots at present, as my brother in law’s house is dial up, not wireless. I wasn’t aware that such a thing existed anymore. Dial up is a scary thing, along with dinosaurs.

Oops, Life on the Shore

2008-05-01T06:01:00.000-07:00

The advantage of having your flight arrive fifteen minutes early is that you can call your hubster and tell him not to bother parking, just pick you up in front of the baggage claim area. And if you’ve ever parked at Baltimore Washington International Airport, you know that saved us a bunch of $$$. Hurray for fast planes!

What we made up for in fast planes we lost in Bridge repairs. They decided to work on one of the spans of the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tuesday night, thus all traffic had to use the old bridge, turning it into one lane each way. When you are used to having three lanes of traffic going each way, going down to one lane is a major pain in the butt and quite a lengthy delay. But we finally got across the bridge and back to the hubster’s brother’s house, where he has been staying these past two months.

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The hubster couldn’t take any time off while I am here since he is taking off at the end of May to fly back to Indy for closing and moving. So to break up a dull day I decided to walk around my brother in laws property yesterday. He lives in the country and has a lot of property and outbuildings. I walked over to the dog kennel and said hello to Bud the dog. Then I walked over to the peacock kennel and said hello to Bailey the peacock. After that I walked around the property taking pictures of the pretty flowers. At one point I even stopped to smell the white flowering buds on a tree. That’s when IT happened. The biggest, longest, blackest, scariest snake you ever saw rapidly slid in front of me, disappearing into a grove of trees. I gave a blood curdling scream and quickly walked back to the house, locking my self inside. I was so proud of myself for not running. At lunchtime when the hubster called me, I told him about the unwelcome visitor. “Oh, you met my brother’s friend” he said. His brother keeps his “friend” around to keep mice and such off of his property. I would have to say it is probably good for keeping sister in laws off your property too because if I see his “friend” again I’m likely to check into a hotel!

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Yesterday was a special day for me. It was my fourteenth wedding anniversary! It really seems like it should only be the fifth or sixth anniversary. Time really funs when your having flies, eh? So the hubster and I went to Old Mill Crab House for a good old fashioned Eastern Shore crab feast. Between the two of us we ate three dozen steamed crabs, a pound of steamed shrimp, a basket of hush puppies, fried chicken, several ears of corn on the cob, a basket of fried clam strips and a basket of fried shrimp. All in two hours! Yes, bellies were hurting. But it was well worth the pain.

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Today I was out and about at 7am, taking pictures of Salisbury, which is the town that the hubster is working in. I would have liked to have slept in, but since the hubster and I are sharing a car while I am here visiting, I had to drop him off at work at 7am. The only thing I can say about him having to be at work so early is the traffic isn’t bad at 7am. So a walk by the downtown plaza this morning, then free WiFi at Panera. Lunch with the hubster and then this afternoon the Salisbury Zoo I think. Life on the Shore. A much slower pace to be sure.

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Oops, Chivalry is not dead

2008-04-29T14:37:00.001-07:00

Technology can be a beautiful , yet scary thing. Here I sit, at the Indianapolis Airport (WiFi is freakin’ awesome) and the hubby calls from MD and tells me that I am sitting at gate C-8. Uh...yeah…but how did you know. He also told me what gate I was arriving at. Sometimes technology is too scary.

I take off in about 15 minutes so I’d better close down the laptop. Just wanted to give ya’ll a shout out while I still could before I hit the remote area of Maryland where WiFi is almost non-existent.

Cool thing though, I discovered that when you were makeup at the airport men not only carry your luggage for you but they also buy you bottles of water. Chivalry is not dead, at least not in Indianapolis.

Oops, Our House Sold

2008-04-27T20:15:00.001-07:00

My BFF and I went to see Baby Mama today at the movie theater. I didn’t think I was going to like it very much, but I was pleasantly surprised. It was really quite a hoot. It was also very predictable. But the laughs overcame the predictability…somewhat. It’s not going to win any Oscars by any means, but it was worth watching, which is more than you can say about most movies out there.

I am happy to report that we haven’t had any more earthquakes in several days now. Hurray! From Friday April 18th until now we have had eleven earthquakes that registered over 2.5. We had quite a few that were under 2.5 but I don’t count those, although they are an annoyance if you are trying to sleep. Our strongest and longest earthquake was 5.6 on the Richter scale. But we’ve also had 4.6 and a 4.0. I don’t think I like earthquakes.

Yesterday afternoon we counter-offered on the offer that was made on our house. Today they counter offered our counter offer and we accepted it. On may 29th I will be on my merry way to MD. I did have a weird mix of emotions when we got the offer and it seemed eminent that our house would sell. I was sad in a way and scared in another and excited and happy too. All at the same time. A weird feeling to be sure. I will miss our happy little haven.

Maryland was never really a happy place for me thanks to my ex-husband. It will be interesting to see if I can make it a happy experience now that he is out of the picture. My grandfather always said that the area of Maryland we lived in was Heaven on earth and he would want to live nowhere else. I never understood his feelings at the time, but I do now. The area of Maryland I am from (and moving back to) is a mix of marshes and mudflats, of wide open fields with countless rows of corn lined up straight as soldiers. It is flatland rivers and hidden tidal pools where the great blue heron’s feed. It is endless miles of ocean as far as the eye can see. It is white marlin, blue crab, oysters, the Bay and the watermen who harvest them. It is home.

Another sure sign that you have arrived on Maryland’s Eastern Shore is the odor. Yes, the odor. The flat farmland is rich with chicken manure, which is gathered from the many chicken houses that dot the landscape. According to local theory it is the chicken manure that gives the vegetables their unique flavor. And one has to admit the vegetables grown on the Eastern Shore are like none other. The tomatoes have a richer flavor, the corn tastes sweeter, and the cucumbers are mild and delicate. Yes, chicken manure can be a wondrous thing. And on the Eastern Shore it is abundant. I guess in a way you could say the Eastern Shore is a real shitty place to be. Okay, bad pun and now I’ll have scads of Eastern Shoreman trying to hunt me down and give me a whoopin’.

Oops, an Offer

2008-04-25T19:14:00.000-07:00

We finally got an offer on our house. It's not the best but I suppose it's not the worst either. We would walk away with very little, but at least we wouldn't have two motgages hanging over our head and I could move with my husband. If we accept it we would close at the end of May. I wish I had a crystal ball so I would know what was coming and if I should accept the offer or not. So many decisions.

Oops, I’m All Shook Up

2008-04-18T13:34:00.000-07:00

This morning I woke up at 4:51 am. It wasn’t anything I had planned, I just woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep. After channel flicking for awhile I settled on a classic “I Love Lucy” episode and snuggled under the covers to watch. At 5:39am something felt a little odd. I wasn’t sure what it was at first but it felt like the bed was being gently shook. I have to admit my first thought was that a ghost was shaking the bed. I’ve been reading too many horror stories. But a couple of seconds later it became quite apparent that something more serious was going on. As I sat up in bed and turned the light on the whole house began to shake. I could visibly see the walls swaying as the house violently shook. It even made sounds. I was seriously freaked out at this point so I grabbed the cell phone off the nightstand and called the hubster. Just about the time he answered the walls stopped moving, but the bed was still shaking. I have to admit my voice was shaking too. I told him what was occurring and whined “what’s going on, what’s happening, I’m scared.” He told me to calm down and turn on the news, that it was probably just an earthquake. JUST an earthquake? It was obvious he has never been in an earthquake or he wouldn’t have been saying it was JUST an earthquake. The bed is still shaking at the point when I turned the news channel on. I see horrified looks on the newscasters faces and they report a minute later that the lights had been shaking, etc and that they believe we all just experienced an earthquake. By the time I got out of the shower and dressed it was confirmed. We had an earthquake which was 5.4 on the Richter scale. That’s no tiny earthquake.

And as if that weren’t enough excitement for the day, I go to the 10:10am showing of Leatherheads at the movie theater and I am the only one in the entire theater. It didn’t bother me until 11:15 when we had ANOTHER earthquake! This one was 4.6 on the Richter scale. It didn’t last as long as the first earthquake but it was still frightening. And they say we may be having aftershocks for the next several days. I am so ready to get the heck out of Indiana. Between tornados and now earthquakes I am pretty much done with this state.

Oops, The Tax Man Cometh

2008-04-16T22:33:00.000-07:00

My cell phone rang last night at 10:30. The hubster and I have a general rule in our house; never call us after 9:30pm because if you are calling that late it is obviously something we don’t want to hear and it can wait until the morning. So in my usual avoidance maneuvers I let the call go to voice mail. It would seem that Scott was at my eldest son’s house and it suddenly occurred to him that it was April 15th. This is a bad thing for Scott because he was supposed to give me his W2’s and 1099’s that he had neglected to do so on Sunday. And the fact that I called him several times on Monday still did not jar his memory. Scott’s late night question? “Should I file some sort of extension this week or next?” My reply? “No need, you are screwed at this point, so why waste the ink.” Okay, I didn’t respond to him yet, but that’s what I’m thinking. Come on, who waits until 10:30 pm on April 15th to do their taxes? Seriously!

Oops, Napped By The Faith Healer

2008-04-15T15:59:00.000-07:00

I’ve been doing pretty well for the last month at dodging the self proclaimed faith healer neighbor. I was getting proud of my self. What is it they say; pride goeth before a fall. And fall I did. When I got home today I am sitting in the Pathfinder, turning the radio down, putting my bottle of water in my purse, etc. The usual stuff you do before you get out of the vehicle. Suddenly I head a tapping at the window. Damn it. It was the self proclaimed faith healer neighbor. She wanted me to go to lunch with her tomorrow. Fortunately I am busy tomorrow so it was easy to come up with an excuse rather quickly. Whew! Dodged a speeding bullet on that one. Then she proceeds to tell me that she wanted me to go out to lunch with her last week but wasn’t able to ask because they had no money. She doesn’t write how much she spends in her checkbook. Doesn’t balance it or anything. So she is always bouncing checks as a result. Last week she had over $400 in bounced check fees alone. And on top of that she had to pay a $180 speeding ticket. So what does she do this morning now that she has finally brought her checking account up current? She heads off to Goodwill to buy more junk. I swear I don’t know where she puts it all. Her house looks worse than the house on Sanford and Son. Yes, I’m dating myself by making reference to that show but so what, I’m old, get over it.

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I woke up this morning with an incredible sinus headache so I know Spring is here finally. I get horrible seasonal allergies. I should be on Allergra D but I got fed up with having to pay $50 a month just to be able to breathe so I stopped taking it last year. So get this; snow flurries last Saturday and Sunday and down to 30 degrees last night. What is today? Seventy degrees. Yes, seventy bloody degrees. This has been one of the worst years for weird weather patterns I can ever remember. And apparently Maryland isn’t faring much better. According to the hubster they are getting hit with the same kind of weird weather, only not as severe as the Midwest. Don’t you hate bloggers that talk about the weather?

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But while I am on the subject of the weather, since it was such a beautiful day guess what I did today? I cut the back yard! I am so proud of myself! I didn’t even get out of breath. I knew giving up my 4 pack a day habit would pay off. (just kidding, it was only two packs a day and it was ten years ago). I had a bit of difficulty getting started. (the lawn mower, not the smoking). Finally I was able to get it started and made a couple of passes on the yard only to discover that the deck was set too high and it wasn’t cutting anything. In the long run it all worked out well though and our back yard is rocking! I might do the front yard tomorrow. Or maybe I’ll give it another week, because it isn’t as tall as the back yard was. Odd how that works.

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Now I am wiped out from all the activity of the day, but feeling very accomplished. I feel so great in fact, that I indulged in my addiction for the rest of the afternoon. Yes, I am an addict. A game addict that is. I am addicted to a PC game called Bud Redhead. I have mastered all twenty levels long ago and now work at achieving the perfect score (which I accomplished several times recently). Now I have a new addiction. Diner Dash. I am a waitress in a dive and now have worked my way up to a Tiki joint where I appease my customers with Tiki drinks when I am too slow with their food. Damn those addictions. Damn those inpatient customers. Now if you’ll excuse me I have a restaurant to run.

Oops, I Freaked Him Out

2008-04-14T17:13:00.000-07:00

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How do you freak your hubby out when you are separated by 700 miles? Don’t answer the phone when he expects you to be home. It started on Saturday night. Scott and Leslie were coming over the next day so I could do their taxes. “Come over for breakfast” I offered. After all, I DO make the world’s best Belgium waffles. So off I go late Saturday night to the Meijer to buy breakfast fixings. Scotts a good eater so I knew he would want bacon and eggs along with the waffles. The hubby happens to call me on the cell Saturday night as I am on the way home from the grocery. “What you are doing out at 9pm on a Saturday night?” he asked. “I thought you would be home watching a chick flick at this hour of night.” (I had rented both Bridget Jones movies for the weekend.) I explain that I am making breakfast for Scott and Leslie Sunday morning and he FREAKS! “Who the f**k are Scott and Leslie?” he asked. I had mentioned them before in my conversations with him, so this proved my point that he doesn’t listen to what I say. I tell him who they are though and how I met them and why they are coming over. He calms down. He proceeds to tell me how he is going to spend Sunday with his mother, as he does every Sunday now that he is living 20 minutes from her. He doesn’t bother to call me again until 7:30 Sunday night. I am in the car listening to some very loud rock music and quite frankly didn’t feel like turning it down to talk on the phone. He proceeds to call my 2nd cell phone (I have two) I didn’t bother answering that one either. Come on people, it was the Red Hot Chili Peppers! Would you have turned them off to talk on the phone? I didn’t think so. When I got home I did honestly forget that he had called. Apparently he sent an email as well. I don’t check my email very often so I didn’t realize he had sent one. Finally at 11pm the cell phone rings and I pick it up this time. He is freaking out. “WHERE ARE YOU?” “Home watching Bridget Jones,” I reply. He was afraid I was lying about Scott having a wife and had gone out somewhere with him I think. Normally he is in bed by 10pm, so for him to call me at 11pm on a Sunday night, well that’s huge. Glad I could worry him a bit. Keeps him on his toes. LOL and I must have really worried him because he said “if the house hasn’t sold by the end of the month why don’t you fly out here for 3 or 4 weeks.” Hmmm…. Interesting that he couldn’t be bothered to take any of my “I can fly out” hints until he thought I was out with another man. Silly boy.

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Can you believe we had several snow flurries over the weekend? Odd because on Friday we had 70 degree weather. I even went as far as putting mulch in all the flower beds. Several types of bulbs have already come up in my flower beds only to die on Saturday and Sunday. So sad.

I asked my BFF to go to the movies with me today. When she found out I wanted to see Nim’s Island she begged off. Seems she had seen it twice last week during her kids Spring break. After we had lunch together I did go and see Nim’s Island by myself though. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I don’t know if it was because I was just in the mood for such a movie or if it was really good, but I loved it. Go see it and let me know what you think. Now I want to see Leatherheads. Has anyone seen that movie yet?

There are lots of other things going on, yet not much going on. Do you know what I mean? It’s hard to imagine that this time last week I was wrapped in the hubsters arms. I really do miss him. This whole selling the house, moving thing sucks. No, let me rephrase that. This whole me staying here to sell the house while he moves to MD to start his new job thing sucks. I want to move to! I am sick of being stuck here in the Midwest. I want to move on with my life too. I’ve already made new friends in MD and I would like to hang out with them. My friends here are sick of saying goodbye to me, they want me to leave already. Even my family doctor says “what, you’re still here?” when I see him. Time marches on and I want to as well. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Besides, blue crab season has officially started.

Oops, Doubt Sets In

2008-04-11T18:03:00.001-07:00

Now that I am back in Indy, doubt is starting to set in my tangled mind. What sort of doubt you ask? Well, since my hubby is staying with his brother until I move out there, he had to ask his permission for me to stay last weekend. Of course his brother said yes. But tonight when I made a brief mention that I wouldn’t mind flying out for a week or two, I followed it by saying “I don’t think your brother would like me spending a couple of weeks at his house though.” To which the hubster should have replied “he doesn’t mind, we both enjoy your company and hope you will fly out.” But that’s not what the hubster said. What he actually said was that his brother was freaking out over last weekend because I didn’t give enough notice…he thinks. And that’s all the hubster said. He didn’t say “oh I would love you to fly out” and he didn’t say “my brother doesn’t mind how long you stay”. No, he didn’t say any of those things. And in regards to the email I sent the hubster earlier in the day, mentioning that I had found a roundtrip airline ticket online for only $149, he read it but ignored it. So what am I to think? So here I will sit, in my big empty house, waiting for a buyer.

Speaking of which, it’s no wonder no one wants to buy our house. We have the drug addict across the street who is into boom-boom sounds on his very loud car stereo and the faith healer neighbor with garbage bags full of leaves lining the sides of their driveway. And speaking of the faith healer neighbor, who do you suppose dragged their kitchen table onto their driveway to eat dinner tonight? Yup, the faith healer neighbor.

And while I am ranting, to be quite honest, if I don’t get the hell away from my two sons I am going to die of high blood pressure. They are driving me NUTS! Now the eldest one has taken the liberty of putting his dogs in my backyard when I am not home and leaving them there ALL F**KING DAY! That’s a major problem when you are trying to sell your house and those dogs have dug holes in your back yard and turned it into a mud pit. Totally destroyed not only my landscaping but also my flowers that WERE starting to poke up. Not to mention that people viewing the house can’t step out into the back yard because of these barking dogs. It’s really pissing me off. I am so dammed sick of being used. Give an inch and take a mile. And if my eldest comes in here drunk one more time I am changing the locks. God save me from the alcoholics of the world. Yes, my nerves are shot. It’s probably a good thing my husband doesn’t want me to fly out because my damned son would have the house destroyed by the time I got back, an he doesn’t even live here. It’s times like this I think I could easily become a Xanax taker. (or whatever it is you call someone that takes Xanax.) Now I think I’ll go and watch the two Bridgett Jones movies that I rented this afternoon and pig out on Ben and Jerry’s.

Oops, an unexpected Road Trip

2008-04-09T14:00:00.000-07:00

Friday, as Jas and I were eating lunch at her favorite Chinese barfette, I decided that I couldn’t take another weekend alone. So I called my eldest and asked him if he wanted to drive down to the Shore with me and share the driving responsibilities. A normal car trip to the Eastern Shore of Maryland is anywhere between twelve and fourteen hours. I had two showings on Saturday morning, starting at 10am. Therefore we decided that we would hit the road at 9am on Saturday. (I have no idea how the showings went, but since I haven’t received a call from my real estate agent telling me we have an offer, I can only assume we had our usual bad luck.)

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At 8:45am Saturday, I picked up Jasmine from her moms. By 9:30am we had picked up her father and his girlfriend and were on our way. We made really good time and at 9:16 that evening I was wrapped in my hubby’s arms. I must say it felt damned good. I mean damned good. And did I mention it felt damned good?

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We didn’t do much while we were on Maryland’s eastern shore because the weather was nasty. It rained the entire time, usually just a steady drizzle or annoying mist, and it was chilly with temps in the 40’s. But I didn’t care. I was with the hubster and I could have cared less what the weather was doing. Unfortunately the weather spoiled Jasmine’s plans for going on the boardwalk in Ocean City.

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We did go on Monday afternoon, weather be damned. But it was cold, and rainy and just plain nasty so none of us stayed on the Boardwalk for long. We stayed long enough to get Thrashers fries though and Dolly’s caramel corn. After all, that’s the whole point of going to the boardwalk anyway. Well, unless you are my friend Jules, then you end up in the Purple Moose saloon drinking fuzzy navels. What a blast you have doing it though.

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Jas professed to having had a good time even though the weather was crappy and messed up her Boardwalk plans. Being the budding zoologist that she is, she enjoyed staying with Greg and I at his brothers farm because not only does he have a cool dog (Bud) but he also has a beautiful (but loud) peacock named Bailey. When we arrived we went out to say hello to Bailey, then when we turned to walk away the peacock let out this blood curdling scream that sounded like a woman being murdered. Poor Jas jumped a mile. I have to admit, I jumped too. In case you haven’t heard a peacock in person, they sound like a woman with a high pitched voice screaming “HELP!” Try sleeping through that!

On the way back we ended up sitting in bumper to bumper traffic at the Chesapeake Bay Bridge. That’s very unusual for a weekday morning in the Spring. If it were a Sunday afternoon in the middle of summer I could understand it. Nonetheless, we did make it home safely and in record time even though we sat in the Bay Bridge backup for 1 hour and 30 minutes. We were home by 9pm last night.

I had an incredibly hard time sleeping last night. After you spend three nights sleeping with your husbands arms wrapped around you, it’s very hard to go back to sleeping alone. Although I am glad we went I have to admit I miss him more than ever now. Please, someone buy our house ... quick!

Oops, I Miss Him

2008-04-01T12:18:00.000-07:00

I would love to tell you how great things are right now, but why lie. Ever since Friday I haven’t gone for longer than 30 minutes without crying except when I am sleeping, and even then I probably cry in my sleep. I keep doing things out of habit like getting up to let the dog in and then I realize he is in doggie heaven and I start crying all over again. It’s so hard. I don’t think I cried this much when my grandma died, and she was the person I loved most in this world.

I tried to make his last day a happy one. I made him a couple of scrambled eggs and gave him many, many treats. I spent the entire afternoon in the family room with him. Just before our appointment I took him to a doggie park so he could sniff doggie butts. He wasn’t able to run around with the other dogs, but he did mark his territory by peeing all over every inanimate object he could find. That always makes him happy. He was smiling and happy that last afternoon. He even took a massive poop in front of the building that the procedure was being done at. Then my friend Rosemary arrived and we went inside for our appointment. Thank God she was there for me. I don’t know how I would have gotten through it otherwise. She took care of the last minute paperwork for me. I hugged Moose and talked to him and told him what a good doggie he was and how much Greg and I love him. I told him I was sorry he was in pain and hadn’t been feeling well lately. I told him I was so sorry for all the times I had been grumpy with him and it wasn’t his fault, it was mine. I even asked him not to haunt me. Then it was time. I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face in his hair and kissed him all over his face and head, telling him repeatedly I love him. And it was over. He was 11 years and 28 days old.

Afterwards Rosemary and I went to dinner. That’s not a true statement. We actually went to a restaurant and ordered dinner. There wasn’t much eating going on though. I took two bites and couldn’t bring myself to force any more food down. So we just sat and talked for an hour. She told me funny stories about annoying things her kids her husband had done and I sat there allowing her to take my mind off of things. When I got home my oldest son came and took things away for me, as I had asked him to do. Things like Moose’s bed and food and toys and such. I couldn’t bear to look at them. Especially not his favorite toys. I was in bed by 10pm that night. I had such a massive headache from all the crying. When my husband left for Maryland on March 1st, he told me to be nice to Moose, that he would be a good companion for me in his absence. He was right. I miss that stupid dog so much.

Rest in peace dear friend

2008-03-29T11:06:00.000-07:00

(click on image to enlarge)

Yesterday at 6:40pm our dog, Moose, was put out of the pain he had been enduring with the cancer that had invaded his body for the last 6 months. He had anal sac carcinoma, which is one of the deadliest cancers a doggie can get. One of the main ways dogs will get that cancer is when they have not been fixed if they are a male dog. It usually hits around ages 11 or 12 according to the research I did on it. Moose was 11 years and 28 days old as of yesterday, March 28, 2008. To say we are devastated would be an understatement. But we are secure in knowing he is out of pain and in a far better place. If you have a male dog, for Moose's sake please make sure you get him fixed. Thank you.

Oops, I'm drunk

2008-03-26T17:09:00.000-07:00

I took my grandaughter, Jasmine out to dinner tonight. She ordered cheese pizza and a green drink plus the make your own sundae bar at Max and Ermas. I ordered two vodka martinis with extra olivis and grey goose vodka. Oops, I'm not as think as I drunk I am, but maybe I am. Time for sleep now. ZZzzzzzzzz..... I think I'll stay drunk until our house sells. Sounds good to me, and me too. And me as well.

Gawd I love vodka martinis!

shit, I think I have a headache.

Oops, Happy Easter

2008-03-22T19:50:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter ya’ll. In the midst of Easter baskets, chocolate bunnies and marshmallow eggs don’t forget to take the time to remember the real reason for Easter.

Oops, The Mad Shitter Strikes

2008-03-21T21:29:00.000-07:00

Tonight I went to McAllister’s deli/sandwich shoppe for dinner for a not very good, chicken salad sandwich. They have great sweet tea though. I can drink my weight in their sweet tea. It’s a ~~bad~~ good thing they have unlimited refills on sweet tea. After I ate my yukky chicken salad on croissant I went to my favorite Borders bookstore. So after I read 3 gossip magazines and drank a tall no foam latte I had to pee some kinda bad. I mean really bad. Between the latte and the two extra large glasses of sweet tea, I was in urgent mode, if you know what I mean. So I go into the LADIES room and toilet #1 is occupied by someone who is taking a skanky nasty shit. Toilet #2 is small and directly next to the mad shitter in toilet #1. so I opt for the handicap toilet (toilet #3 of 3 toilets total). That turned out to be a no go. T seems that the handicap toilet had red spots all over the seat if you know what I mean. And here is the weird thing; there was a huge black turd on the floor, right in front of the toilet. Looked like a dog had dropped a turd actually. A big dog. A very big dog. So I have no choice, I had to go in toilet #2. I pee real quick as I hold my hand over my nose because the fumes from the skanky shitter are about to make me vomit. I do my business quickly and exit my stall at the same time that the skanky shitter exited their stall and at the same time as an older woman walks into the bathroom. She gives a yelp of surprise upon seeing the mad shitter exit their stall. Turns out the mad shitter was an old man! Yes. An old man had taken a skanky shit in the ladies room. He didn’t seem to be too concerned us. He just tipped his cowboy hat to the both of us and said "good evening ladies" and exited the bathroom. Without washing his hands I might add. What the hell is that store coming to? On Wednesday night I had been in that Borders and there was a balding man with a scraggly mullet wearing a womans purse. Not a man purse but an actual woman's purse from Walmart. WTF? That place is starting to scare me.

Oops, Indiana Monsoons Continue

2008-03-19T19:25:00.000-07:00

Although yesterday’s morning held the promise of spring, today’s held the promise of floods, and lots of them. There has been a steady drizzle falling all day, giving the already chilled air a miserable feeling. No hint of spring in the air today, oh no. The perfect thing to do would have been to stay in bed and sleep the nasty weather away. I forged ahead though and went to the one place in the Midwest that I knew would make the sun shine in my heart. Hobby Lobby. I tell you, I am going to miss that store when I move back to Maryland. Just the act of walking into Hobby Lobby puts a bounce in my step and a song in my heart. I don’t have to buy anything, although I frequently do. Walking through the aisles looking at the brightly colored items would be enough to perk anyone up.

I did manage to find a few items that had to make their way into my cart. A couple for me, a couple for my daughter and even one for my grandpug, Booger.

Click on image to see my neighbors flooded yard

I really needed a perk today, not only because of the weather, but also because the weather has flooded my neighbor’s yards. No one is going to want to buy my house when they see the neighbors yards flooded. They will think we are in a flood zone. Good old Indiana’s monsoon season. Damn it!

This afternoon, when I went to the mailbox to gather the mail, I saw a young dude in an expensive silver sports car sitting in front of the faith healers house, looking over at my house. He drove over to me and asked me how much we were asking for the house. I told him, he thanked me and drove away. I have a couple of problems with this interaction. First of all, why is he looking at a house that costs less than his car? Secondly, why didn’t he get his lazy butt out of his car and grab a flyer from the box in front of him, which has the price emblazed on the front. I wonder if he was a real estate investor looking for a cheap house to rent out or something. Must not have been too impressed though because I haven’t gotten a call for a showing yet.

Late this afternoon I went to a local coffee shop to drink no foam lattes, read gossip magazines and people watch. I wish I had taken my digital camera with me. I saw a ~~woman~~ …~~man~~ … person that looked very out of place. This ~~woman~~ …~~man~~ person was carrying a woman’s purse. It wasn’t a “man purse” either. Everyone was staring because, quite frankly, the ~~woman~~ …~~man~~ … person looked freaky as hell. I would swear it was a man, as he had a severe case of hair loss. The few hairs he had in the back were long and hung down to his shoulders. I’m getting a case of queasy stomach thinking about it, so maybe I’d better change the subject. Or go vomit. Or maybe both.

Oops, They Disappoint me

2008-03-18T13:00:00.001-07:00

When the hubster and I came up with this idea that I would stay here in the Midwest to sell our house, while he started our new life on the East Coast, our friends were very supportive. They vied with each other as to which would have me for dinner on which night and which would go to the museums with me, which would be my movie buddies, etc. In fact the last week that the hubster was here they started beating down the door, wanting me to do this or that with them. But the very second his plane hit the skies, they vanished into thin air. It’s been three weeks now and everyone has become invisible. I haven’t had one dinner invitation. And the one friend who vowed to be my movie buddy insists on not only picking the movie, but also leaves me with the popcorn bill even though I don’t eat popcorn in the theater. My (so-called) friends are a disappointment. One even went as far as to tell me how she invited another friend for dinner and then went onto complain about the evening. Meanwhile I sit there wondering why I didn’t get an invitation. This same so-called friend asked me yesterday “Don’t you get lonely?” I felt like telling her I’d rather be a hermit than hang around the likes of selfish rude people like you. But I just smiled and said no.

Really things are not as bad as I make them seem. I rather enjoy my solitude for the most part. There are other friends I could hang around with but for various reasons I don’t. I’d much rather stay home with my stinky dog, sitting in front of the fire, eating strawberry shortcake for dinner. I’ve even stopped going to my writers group meetings. So I guess my solitude is a self imposed one at times. But I like it that way. I have come to the realization that the majority of my friends here in Indy use me for their own personal gain. The ones who have me do free web work, or the ones who have me drive 25 miles to their house to go out for the afternoon or evening with them because their husband has their one car and they are bored, or the ones that want me to cater their movies for free all at my own expense or the ones that only call me when they are having a personal crisis and they need a shoulder to cry on. Screw you all, I say. Screw you all! I think that ~~if I~~ when I move to the East Coast I will have to become pickier about the friends I let into my life.

I had three showings on Saturday. That makes a grand total of 22 showings now. The craziest things happen when people come to look at my house. I know because I hide down the block and watch. Saturday was, of course, no exception. Three minutes before the first showing, a white hearse backs into the faith healer neighbors driveway, and they open the back doors, as if waiting for fresh meat to be inserted into the back, if you know what I mean. Come on, what are the odds? Really people, what are the odds? Then I realize that they are actually taking car parts out of the back of the hearse to work on Debs brakes on her minivan which has the two front wheels taken off and is up on blocks. Would YOU want to move to a house which is across the street from a house with a car up on blocks and a hearse in the driveway? No, I wouldn’t either. Seriously, has someone put bad mojo on me?

I read online that by burying a statue of St Joseph upside down in front of your house, your house will sell almost immediately. I did that Sunday evening and now I am waiting for the offers to pour in. I have total faith that my house will sell within 2 weeks now. I do. Really I do. You’ll see!

Oops, I Don't Care

2008-03-13T18:38:00.000-07:00

Click on image to enlarge (and see the gouge in my purple wall)

This is the house that Jack built. This is the wall in the house that Jack built. This is the gouge in the wall of the house that Jack built. This is the sound of money rapidly draining out of my wallet thanks to the gouge in the wall and the hole in the ceiling and the mud on the new carpet of the house that Jack built. Sounds like Jack should have built a better house, eh? That damned bastard Jack.

So, PFB (pig faced bitch) told my real estate agent that she would make an offer if we addressed the issue of a couple of spongy areas she felt in Jasmine’s room. I talked to my eldest and he offered to put a new floor in that room on Saturday with his friends. What the hell was wrong with me? Has living alone warped my brain so bad that I have no common sense anymore? Obviously. So day one commenced with them having to use my Pathfinder to go to the hardware store to buy the lumber. I guess they figured that even though I am a non-smoker, I would never realize they had smoked in my “never before been smoked in” SUV. I have yet to be able to get the smell out. I find that the smell goes really well with the deep scratches and gouges on the interior of my two year old Pathfinder that they managed to do in one of their many trips to the hardware store. I am not sure if the scratches on the outside of my SUV were done on day one or day two of the project. And then there is the problem with the passenger side front door. Again, I am not sure what they did to cause the door to not be able to shut properly now, but hey, I saved a couple of hundred on the flooring job so it’s all good. Right? So what that I had to buy new ceiling tiles for them to fix the ceiling their fell through, or the fact that I had to paint the entire room because of the path job they did on the gouge they put in the bedroom wall. And why be upset over the stains they got in my new carpet, after all a carpet os going to get wear and tear eventually, right? And surely it wasn’t their fault that they put huge, deep tire ruts in the front yard, because how were they to know that the ground would be so soft from all the melting snow. Shall I go on?

Click on image to enlarge (and see my double chin)

Day two of replacing the floor in Jas’s room is just as annoying as day one. The only difference being that no one fell through the ceiling on day two. One of the people brought some annoying eight-year-old girl with him. Like there wasn’t enough going on here. She was the most loud mouthed, unruly child I have ever had the displeasure to meet. She kept trying to go upstairs and get in the guys way as they were installing the new floor in Jasmine’s room. I flat out told her not to go upstairs and as she was walking upstairs she would tell me “it’s okay, I’m allowed.” I would tell her, “no your not, now get down here now.” She would give me grief and then when I would turn my back, she would walk up the steps again. She needed a good butt whipping if you ask me. It was obvious the girl had never heard the word “no” in her life.

By the time everyone finally left on Sunday night I just broke down and had myself a good cry. After awhile I pulled myself together because after all, I would be getting an offer on the house in the next day or two from PFB. Monday arrives and no offer. Then Tuesday morning I get a call from my agent. PFB wants to come by with her agent that afternoon prior to making an offer. I was excited and relieved. Finally, an offer. Tuesday night I waited for the call from my agent letting me know about the offer. No call. Finally on Wednesday I get a voice mail from my agent. She tells me that PFB said she wants new a new floor put in each of the three bedrooms upstairs, the upstairs hallway, the upstairs bathroom and all of the steps leading to the upstairs to be replaced. All this for two spongy spots in one of the bedrooms. My agent tells PFB’s agent that I had the entire floor replaced over the weekend. PFB’s agent says she doesn’t believe it and that nothing was done to that room. Then she insists that all of the new flooring she mentioned and the new steps be completed before they will submit an offer. I was floored! No pun intended. I was so insulted. I don’t feel a damned thing wrong with the flooring upstairs, nor with the steps. Granted, there is one step that creaks when you step on it, but you don’t put new steps in for one creaky step. I told my agent to tell PFB to piss up a rope, I wasn’t doing any of that. If we bowed to her commands, then she would want a new roof, then a new this or new that, the list would never end. And she would offer us mere pennies, instead of what we are asking. No, PFB can kiss my big fat creaky, spongy butt!

So as you can imagine, I’ve been severely depressed ever since that phone call. I didn’t even want to go out of the house today. This evening I forced myself to get out for a little bit. I’d be just as happy laying in bed all day and all night. I’ve given up. I’ll never get to move to MD with my husband. I don’t even know if I care enough to move anyway. He is so busy with his new life, his new job, his new state, that he didn’t even call me until since Saturday morning until yesterday evening (Wednesday). And that was just to find out if an offer had been made. He hasn’t asked how I am or what I’ve been doing or anything. He just bubbles on about how he loves his new job. I cut my finger so badly this afternoon that I really should have had stitches. I start telling him about it and he cuts me off, telling me about how he took some fella’s out to lunch. So I just stopped talking. I let him ramble on for the rest of the phone call and he didn’t even notice he was the only one talking. And you know what? I don’t even care.

Oops, I need new ceiling

2008-03-08T15:29:00.001-08:00

(Click on image to see the destruction)

This is what happens when you have relatives put in your new flooring in an upstairs bedroom. This is also a good reason why you should never buy the last of the discontinued ceiling tiles. I am going to have to pay for an entire new ceiling now because we can't get any ceiling tiles to match. This is a bad day, a bad day. :-(

And when I call Mr. Understanding (the hubster) I get screamed at for allowing this relative to touch a hammer in the first place. It wasn't like I had any options. We will have an offer for the house on Monday or Tuesday if we fix the flooring. So of course I was going to do everything in my power to comply. I should have know better. I should have frigging known.

Oops, The Last Supper

2008-03-07T07:00:00.000-08:00

(click on image to enlarge and see the faith healers boob laying on the table. YUK!)

Last night I did something I swore I would never again do. I went out to dinner with the self proclaimed faith healer neighbor and her annoying loud mouthed daughter. I even invited m y granddaughter Jas to join us. Misery loves company I suppose. Let me start off by saying, the self proclaimed faith healer neighbor only likes to eat at Chinese buffets. Barfette’s as I like to call them. And the one she chose certainly lived up the name of a barfette. It was some of the nastiest, if not the worst, food I have ever tried to eat. I wasn’t able to eat much because it was so bad. But the self proclaimed faith healer neighbor and her daughter made up for the food Jas and I didn’t eat. They really chowed down, let me tell you! And loud! Oh were they loud. People at other tables were turning to look at us because the self proclaimed faith healer neighbor and her eleven year old daughter were so loud.

Jas ended up getting wired up as well by the end of the evening. I mean come on, doesn’t the picture of Jas above look like she is wired out on sugar? She didn’t eat any sweet foods so this is all results of the self proclaimed faith healer neighbor’s daughter’s loud and obnoxious behavior. Quite frankly, looking at the pic of Jas above kind of scares me.

After dinner, (if you want to call it that) the self proclaimed faith healer neighbor pulls into my driveway to let me and Jas out. I see her unbuckling her seatbelt and turning the car off so I realize what she is about to do. She is going to try to come in my house. Now, if you haven’t already figured it out, the self proclaimed faith healer neighbor is like a cockroach; once you get her in your house you can’t get rid of her. So, my survival instinct kicks in and I hop out of her mini-van and grab Jas and run to my car, while hollering over my shoulder “thanks for the ride Deb, see ya later, I have to get Jas home.” And I am backed halfway out of the driveway before she realizes what is going on. It was pretty funny. I waved at her as she stood in my driveway with her mouth open, as I drove away. Jas and I had a real good laugh over that.

Today we are expecting a major snow storm here in the Frozen tundra of Indianapolis. And it seems the city has run out of road salt. So as you can imagine, things are going to get pretty bad road wise. They are shutting schools down early and already advising people to stay off the roads. Now this pisses me off. Why? Because I have two showings of my house this afternoon. And both are seeing the house for the second time. So if the weather would cooperate I could conceivably have an offer on my house by tonight. Damn that Midwest weather! So keep your fingers crossed for me that they don’t let the snow stop them from coming this afternoon and making an offer. And it doesn’t help any that the hubster calls me yesterday afternoon and tells me he is driving with the car window down and he has a sunburn. Bastard!

Oops, Blame it on Chicken Poop

2008-03-05T18:07:00.000-08:00

The first day the hubster was in Maryland, leaving me alone in this house, I was out of sorts. I hadn’t settled into a routine of aloneness by that point. The second day was much better. And by the third day I was kind of liking being alone, well, most of the time. Today is the fifth day and depression is starting to set in now. It’s not so much the fact that I am alone, it’s more the fact that the hubster is embarking on his new life and I feel left out. By the time he gets off of work and back to his brothers in the evening he is too tired to talk to me. Oh he tries, but the cell phone reception is really bad out in the boonies where his brother lives. So most of the time I can only hear every other word he says and even that sounds like it’s coming from a tunnel. I end up with a splitting headache from it. And the hubster seems to get annoyed at me when I complain about the poor reception. He barks at me with things like “what am I supposed to do about the reception? I just won’t call you anymore if the reception annoys you that much.” So now I don’t even comment on the poor reception. He doesn’t ask about my day, even though I ask about his. I try to tell him about my day anyway and he falls asleep on the phone on me. That’s not very good for my ego. I just feel like we are drifting apart. I was afraid this would happen. He’s just so wrapped up in his new life that he has put all thoughts of his old life out of his mind. But on the up side, he loves his new job. He’s putting in long hours so he’s pretty tired at night.

One good thing that has come out of this solitude is that my writers block is finally broken. Yes, I have writing like mad. My new writing group is publishing an anthology and I have submitted two stories and am finishing up a third. Unfortunately you are only allowed to submit 2500 words. I have exceeded that limit so I need to pick and choose what to submit. I wrote two stories that are in poem format. They are cute and funny and totally adorable. But my masterpiece is a story I am finishing up called “Blame it on chicken poop.” It’s cute, I think. It’s sort of a reflective piece. If anyone is interested in being a beta reader for it let me know. I’m looking for someone to give me their honest opinions. You walk a fine line when writing about chicken poop so I have concerns about it as you can imagine.

(Click in image to enlarge)

Yesterday we had a horrible ice storm. Of course it hit while I was in the movies. When I went into see “Definitely Maybe” at noon rain was falling from the sky. When I came out two hours later there was two inches of ice on the Pathfinder. I had a heck of a time chipping it off enough to see out the windshield and getting the car door open. Then I get home and I can’t get the front storm door open because it is iced shut. I had to kick at it to break the ice. The ice storm turned into a mild snow storm at nightfall. It was so cozy being all warm and hunkered down for the evening with a roaring fire blazing away. The only thing I was missing was my Greggy Bear. And then tomorrow we are supposed to get 3 inches of snow. I am pretty sick of this Indiana weather. Greg tells me it was in the high 60’s there today and tomorrow is supposed to be a beautiful day as well. He even has had to wear sunglasses when he drives. Damn it.

I was on the back patio shoveling snow this afternoon when I heard my stinky dog barking up a storm. So I went through the garage and I saw a strange car in the driveway. It was the health inspector from the health dept. I had called her on Monday and left a message about that creepy punk kid next door that doesn’t have trash service and instead just throws his bags of household garbage into his back yard. He’s only been doing that for over a year now. He’s getting quite the collection as you can imagine. She had knocked on the kids door, but Brandon wouldn't open his door to her and they are not allowed to go on someone’s property without the owners permission. She needed to go on his property to see into his back yard to take pictures of the piles of garbage. She told me if I were to give her permission to take pictures of his garbage from my property that would work. So I gave her permission to come into Jasmines room, which overlooks Brandon’s garbage piles and take a picture of the garbage. Did you know it is a law that everyone in this county has to have garbage pickup service? I didn't know that. Looks like the self proclaimed faith healer is a law breaker too since she hasn’t had garbage pickup for two years now! Anyway, she said she will send the punk kid neighbor a letter giving him 30 days in which to pick up the garbage or else he is served with a summons to appear in court. She said you would be surprised at the number of people that DON'T comply and end up being sued by the county. That amazes me.

Oops, A Bad First Day

2008-03-03T17:07:00.001-08:00

Today was the hubster’s first day of work at his new job in Maryland. He calls me at 11:00am asking me where his social security card is as he can’t find it and the human resources department insists on having a copy of it. I have no idea where it may be; I’ve never had access to it. He still hasn’t found it. I always thought he carried it in his wallet like most people. When he called me this evening I asked him how his first day went and he said he had more important things on his mind than his new job. It seems his eighty-year-old mother was hospitalized this morning with congestive heart failure. What a bad start to his first day on the job, eh? Please keep her in your prayers. It’s our worst nightmare to move to Maryland only to have her die when we move there. Te whole reason we are moving to Maryland is because Greg misses his mother and wants to spend more time with her. To make matters worse, this is the very thing Greg’s father died of. So as you can imagine, everyone is hitting the panic button right about now. Sometimes I wonder if this move is just not meant to be. Makes you wonder doesn’t it?

Oops, Thanks A Vet

2008-03-02T14:47:00.000-08:00

It seems that the hubster’s flight to Maryland yesterday was not without incident. If you have known me long (some of you have) then you know that the hubster’s father served in the Navy during WWII and that the hubster and I did extensive research on WWII and the hubster’s father’s naval career. The hubster has hats and shirts from two of the ships the hubster’s father served on. He happened to wear one of those shirts yesterday with one of the hats. When he boarded his flight here in Indy, just after the flight took off the stewardess made an announcement as she stood next to the hubster’s seat. She announced that as Americans we don’t take time to thank the men and women who have served our country. In fact, she continued, we have a member of the service here, so everyone take a moment to applaud him for his service and thank him. As the entire plane broke out into applause (including my hubster) she turns to him and asks him to stand. He said “me? I’m the member of the military?” Then he had to tell the entire plane, who had just applauded him, that he was just a fan of the Navy and had actually never served. He was so embarrassed. I told him if that should happen again he should just say thank you. Because I bet everyone felt like idiots after that. How embarrassing.

Oops, Things To Remember

2008-03-01T17:39:00.000-08:00

(click on image to enlarge)

I am officially a single woman. Well, until the hubster and I are reunited in Maryland atsome point in the distant future. Above is a picture of the hubster and I this morning before he left. Today he flew off into the wild blue yonder to the wilds of coastal Maryland, while I stay behind with a dying stinky dog, trying to sell our house. The plan is that I will move to Maryland when the house sells. I may be in Indiana for the rest of my life. We have had fifteen showings and not even one little nibble. Everyone agrees that the house shows well and it is priced right. But yet no-one is buying it. But they buy houses that are smaller and uglier than ours. I don’t get it. I just don’t get it. I think the universe is against us. Take for instance the showing this afternoon. I am one street over on Vali Drive, in my little hiding place where I can see the people coming into our house and I can see how long they stay. (that gauges my hopefulness or hopelessness as the case may be). Several things happen at once. A red pickup truck pulls into our driveway and at the same time a stray dog (we never get stray dogs in our neighborhood) comes running around the corner and across my yard and up to the passenger door of the pickup truck. The people in the truck start to back out of the driveway as if they are having second thoughts about viewing our house now. (I can’t blame them with a rabid dog running around). But the dog runs across the street to bark at the faith healers dogs who are barking right back at them. So the people do end up coming in the house. They only stayed six minutes though. What are the odds of a stray dog running in my yard at the same time people come to view the house? I tell you, someone has put a curse on me. Does anyone know how to get the evil eye off a person?

(click on image to enlarge)

I have no patience for the whole house crap today because as I said, the hubster moved to Maryland today. I was okay until when we were in the airport. Then he hugs me tightly, kisses my neck and whispers in my ear “I’m going to miss you.” I had to tell him gruffly “we’ll have none of that” and walk away, because my eyes were misting up. I did break into tears however when I saw him going through security at the airport. It suddenly hit me that it could be a month or more before I saw him again. We’ve been apart a few times in the fourteen years we’ve been married, but not very often. And it’s always been when I’ve gone on a business trip or a pleasure trip without him. I’ve never been in our house without him. I am so lonely that I’ve even invited our dying stinky dog to sit in the family room with me. Now that’s desperation! When I got back from the airport I saw that my Greggy bear had left me a note on the side of the fridge. It’s funny because I left a couple of notes in his suitcase for him. One I wrote in blue marker and it said “I’m blue without you”. His note to me was titled “Things to remember”. What little love notes did he leave me? Well, first on the list was “I love you”. Second was telling me about garbage day. Third was reminding me not to forget to regenerate the water softener every other day. Fourth was telling me how to make coffee (he has been in charge of making coffee ever since he first stayed over in 1993). Fifth was making sure I don’t forget to lock the doors at night. Sixth was telling me to be kind to ~~Stinky~~ the dog. And seventh was telling me to stay positive, that this would not last forever (so he thinks). Not the most prolific of love notes, but you would think it was a masterpiece judging by the amount of tears I cried when I read it. Maybe he should have added an eighth reminder. One that said “don’t forget to stop crying.” I hope day two of being single is better than day one.

Oops, It’s a Tenderloin

2008-02-28T05:41:00.000-08:00

(click on image to enlarge)

We did end up going on a road trip for the hubster’s birthday yesterday. Thanks to Diners Drive Ins and Dives on the Food Network, we ended up at The Triple XX Drive In, which had been featured on that show. We both got huge pork tenderloin sandwiches with onion rings and fries. Then we washed it down with the Triple XXX’s homemade root-beer. WOW! I am ready for a road trip back there today! You can see by the remnants of my plate that I liked it.

(click on image to enlarge)

We rounded off the hubster’s birthday with a movie at our favorite Art-house theater. We saw In Bruges. It was a good movie, and an interesting movie. But at the end I couldn’t help myself, I was so surprised that it was over that I yelped “No, they can’t end it like this!” I think the entire theater agreed with me. I won’t spoil it for you though. Go see it!

All in all, it was a good birthday for the hubster and the best part is that it continues today. I gave him a gift certificate for an hour long head to toe body massage from the gal does my weekly massages. It is the same gal that gave him his Valentines Day massage. I am jealous because I know how good he is going to feel. This is one of those rare times that I wish it was MY birthday.

Oops, Nasty Food

2008-02-27T06:14:00.000-08:00

Today is the hubster’s birthday. (Happy Birthday Baby!) In honor of which we are going to travel this great state of Indiana in search of a gianormous burger that he saw on the Food Network. That Food Network has been such a detriment to my diet. That extra 30 pounds I’m carrying around on my wide-load butt; courtesy of the Food network. I wonder if I can sue them?

Our visit with the widow of the hubster’s fathers’ best friend (and Navy buddy) was a nice one, abet a sad one. Charlotte is not doing so well right now and wasn’t even well enough to go out to lunch with us. It was sad to see and heartbreaking to know that would be the last time we would ever see her. We’ve really enjoyed her company and can not begin to tell you how much her stories of the Hubster’s dad meant to him. She has touched my heart in a way that will leave a lasting impression, even long after she is gone. And in a way, what more could one ask of life than to be remembered by others when you are gone.

After our two hour visit with Charlotte, the hubster and I went for a late lunch at a place we had been at once before in that town. When Charlotte took us to Kings Barfette last year we loved it. Now we are wondering if we loved it because it was good, or because we were starving that day? All we know is this time it was one of the nastiest place we have ever eaten. Or not eaten as the case may be, because we didn’t eat very much. It was too nasty. The peach blossom was good though.

Oops, I Need Patience

2008-02-24T12:46:00.000-08:00

The hubster and I met friends last night for dinner at Red Robin. Other than over loading on beef and onion rings, we had a great time. I am going to miss our friends here in the Midwest. We stayed at the restaurant for three hours, eating, drinking, and having fun. When the waitress brought the bill both the hubster and our friends went to grab it. I kicked the hubster under the table to let him know not to take the bill. He thought I meant I wanted him to take the bill and he not only grabbed it, but also left a very generous tip. Believe me, you don’t want to know what the bill came to. I need to work on my kicking signals with the hubster. When I kick you in the leg, that means cease all activity, especially activities which involve grabbing dinner checks. Read and learn men, read and learn.

And speaking of the hubster, today his job is packing up the garage. I’ve only been after him for a month to do that. I told him if I did it I would throw everything away. I would too. I mean, the man has every conceivable size of nail, screw, nut or bolt that you has ever been made. Do we really need to move them all seven hundred miles with us? I don’t think so. But apparently he does. His garage packing started at 9am today. Here it is 4pm and he is not even halfway through packing the garage. He did have a detour I admit. He accidentally let off the fire extinguisher in the hall coat closet. Don’t ask me how, I am still wondering that myself. I can tell you this though, it was a Gawd awful mess! It took him two hours to clean it up. (Notice I didn’t say ME. I was having no part of it). Part of me is going to miss him when he leaves for Maryland on Saturday, but another part is going to relish the peace and quiet.

I received an email from my sister in law this morning. You know she said my house was going to sell on February 19th? Well she has a reason why it didn’t sell on the day she said it would. She says that it is my fault that the house hasn’t sold and that the house will never sell until I learn my lesson. She quoted something from an Edgar Casey book? And she said the Gods are trying to teach me patience and I am not learning. Therefore the house will not sell until I wise up and start listening to the Gods. Gee, and I thought all you had to do was stick a for sale sign in your front yard. She even called me ‘Missy’. Hmph!

Oops, I'm Depressed

2008-02-23T10:33:00.000-08:00

(click on image to enlarge)

Oddly enough I am depressed. I can’t imagine why I would be depressed. I am about to embark on a new life in a new area of the country, ~~when~~ if my house ever sells. If it doesn’t? I guess I’ll be sitting here in this empty house gathering cobwebs on my person. And the fact that the skies keep pelting me with snow each and every day doesn’t help my depression any. No, not at all. What I am really depressed about is that another home sold yesterday, just 2 blocks away. It was much smaller than ours, I mean a lot smaller. And it did not have some of the nicer things that ours does. The kitchen looked horrible and was really tiny. But yet it sold after being on the market for 2 weeks. Ours will have been on the market one month as of tomorrow. Yes, I have good reason to be depressed. The hubster, he gets to start his new life in seven days. My life is in limbo until this damned house sells.

(click on image to enlarge)

In fact, the hubster is packing as I write this. He flies out next Saturday to start his new job in Maryland, while I sit in this big empty house alone. Well, not quite alone. I’ll have a stinky dying dog with me. Who, I might add, will most likely go into a decline once the hubster leaves, and pass away shortly thereafter. I always get stuck with the dirty work. I remember when Moose first started acting sick. I was the one who had to take him to the vet and hear the news that our doggie has terminal cancer. It’s the same when he needed to go to the boarder when we go on vacations, I am the one who has to drop him off. So when we pick the dog up, I am the one he is mad at for leaving him at the boarder in the first place. Yes, I get stuck with the shit jobs.

We are meeting friends for dinner tonight. It will most likely be the last time we see them, in this state at least. They have promised that they will come to visit. And they very well may, but somehow I doubt it. You know how you promise to stay in touch, but never do. It’s no ones fault, we all just get busy with our lives and the next thing we know it’s been ten years since we’ve seen our good friends. Just a fact of living I suppose. And Monday we are going to a town an hour away to see a good friend who was the wife of the hubster’s father’s best friend. The hubster’s father and this woman’s husband were in the Navy together. They were lifelong friends even up to their deaths. Both died at an early age unfortunately. We always enjoy spending time with Charlotte, but it was apparent to us over the phone, that she is failing. Each winter seems to be harder and harder on her. This is probably her last Winter in fact. So sad. Now I’m really depressed.

Oops, My Neighbors Suck

2008-02-22T04:52:00.000-08:00

(click on image to enlarge)

And it snowed, and snowed, and snowed. And the band played on. I swear I feel like I’m on the Titanic and rapidly going down. People don’t get in a house buying mood in the snow and the snows just won’t seem to stop. Last night the hubster and I went to our favorite Cajun joint for Gumbo and Etouffee. When we came out our car was covered with snow, again. This stuff won’t stop.

(click on image to enlarge)

As if the snow wasn’t making it hard enough to sell our house, we have the neighbors. Yesterday we had another showing. The hubster and I were parked on Vali Drive again, at our vantage point where we could see the house and see how long they stayed in the house. When I saw the couple get out of their car I instantly knew they were the ones. I knew she would love the kitchen and he would love the workshop. I knew they would stay in the house a long time and I knew they would be making an offer. I don’t know how I knew, I just knew. I don’t get those feelings often, but when I do they are usually right. They did stay in the house for 31 minutes. And they were the only buyers that ever turned off all the lights. That, in my mind, gave them a vested interest in the house. It meant that in their sub-conscious they had already taken ownership of the house. Then we got the feedback from their visit. I’ll paste the actual feedback below;

My client likes the home and asked me to place on their list of potentials. The interior of the homes shows very well, pass along my compliments to the owner. The neighborhood had less appeal with the home across the street with two very barking dogs that wanted to come over the fence at us...Also nice job on the special feature signs. Hope to show a second time in the coming weeks.

See, we’ll never get rid of this house. Barking dogs SUCK and so do low class trashy neighbors! It seems that all the feedback we get isn’t about the house, it’s about the neighbors. This sucks. The hubster is moving to Maryland next week and I’ll be stuck in this house waiting for it to sell, for the rest of my life, or until gas prices come down. Which ever comes first. And we all know gas prices aren’t coming down. Wanna buy a house?

Oops, I Don’t Get It

2008-02-20T14:21:00.000-08:00

(click on image to enlarge)

I am officially depressed. Shortly before my daughter went to Germany she gave me her Tracker. I guess I have subconsciously felt it was an extension of her. Yesterday I gave it to my eldest son as we didn’t want to move it to Maryland with us. As it was being driven out of our driveway tears clouded my vision. It was as if I was saying goodbye to my daughter again. I am going to miss that car. Good times, good times. I remember going with my daughter when she picked out that car. Then, on the way home, as we rode topless (the car, not us) it started hailing and she had to pull over to the side of the road and quickly try to put the top on. I taught my husband how to drive a stick shift in that car. I remember when I came back from a trip to California, my husband had bought me the cutest floor mats that had cherries on them. I remember the first warm day each spring, putting the top down and driving with the music blaring and the wind whipping through my hair. Yes, good times. The hubster has promised me we will look at buying a jeep for a second vehicle when we move, but it won’t be the same. At least we kept the Tracker in the family I suppose.

Another thing that has me down a little bit, is that we gave up our Indiana area code last night and went with a new cell phone plan that has Maryland area codes. Everything is happening so fast and the move is starting to sink in now. It’s hard to step out of the familiar into the unknown.

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When we lived in Wisconsin, it snowed everyday. I swear it did! Or it certainly seemed that way. Indiana is proving to give us the same send off. Every day we get some amount of snow. Some days we get more than others, but nonetheless we get snow. Overnight we were hit with three inches of that nasty white stuff. And more is expected for tonight. This on top of the one inch we received yesterday, on top of the stuff we already had leftover from the last snow storm. I am so ready to hit that groundhog in the head with a shovel for seeing his shadow!

(click on image to enlarge)

And of all days to have an appointment, of course I would have one today, thus having to leave the warm confines of my house and venture out into that nasty, vile, white stuff. The humanity of it all people, the humanity. And speaking of humanity, why do people drive like idiots in the snow? If you look closely at the picture (aka enlarge it) you will see that in typical Hoosier fashion, the roads are clear as a bell. So please tell me why these morons felt the need to drive 30MPH in a 55 MPH zone? I just don’t get it.

Oops, They Came For Me

2008-02-18T11:20:00.000-08:00

My friend Kate, who is in my writers group here in Indianapolis, just finished her latest film. Although she has entered several film festivals with it with excellent success, she has also put it on You Tube for everyone to enjoy. Take a look at it or click on this link. I think you'll agree that it is one powerful piece. Kate and Karmic Productions are going to go far, that's for sure. This is the movie that the hubster and I were going to cater, but thanks to the gal that crashed her car into ours a week before production, we weren't able to be a part of it. She'd better call us for the next movie!

Be sure to go to her website and check out her other two movies, Laundry Day and Loss.

Oops, Mixed Feelings

2008-02-16T20:58:00.000-08:00

My valentines day started off with being awoken at 7am to hear the sound of the husband cussing after he hit his leg on a corner of an end table while he tried to sneak out the front door to go to the store to buy me something. Ever the planner, that man. Nothing like thinking ahead. When I got out of the shower he was home (I take long showers) and surfing the internet. I go in the kitchen to get a cup of coffee and there I see a vase with three roses and a small mylar balloon which says “I love you”. Sweet, I admit. But two of the roses were half dead. I thanked him and like an ungrateful fish wife, I asked “did you realize two of the roses are dead?” I was blasted, very loudly, with “excuse me for not realizing everything would be picked over. I’m sorry but it was all they had, okay?” he screamed at me. That pretty much killed Valentines Day for me. Yes, I shouldn’t have mentioned that two of the roses were dead. But he shouldn’t have yelled at me. It took away what ever meaning the roses might have had and turned the gift into an obligation. No one wants their gift to be an obligation. Things kind of went downhill from there pretty much the entire day. I was disappointed that the man who used to plan elaborate romantic valentine day surprises and activities was reduced to running out to buy me dead roses at the last minute. Valentines Day always had special meaning for us because… well for many reasons I won’t go into. But also because we were engaged on valentines day. Now it’s been reduced to an obligation. How very sad.

(Click on picture to view enlarged version)

I suggested we go to the Indianapolis Museum of Art and spend the day drinking in the beauty of Van Gough, Renoir, Rembrandt and Monet, just to name a few. So off we went. I had been there before but this was the hubster’s first time at IMA. They have a wonderful restaurant there called Wolfgang’s. Yes, Wolfgang Pucks. They have the best burgers in this world. Paired with a vodka martini (with Gray Goose of course) it is the absolutely best meal on the planet when you are spending the day looking at world renowned art. At lunch, over my martini and the husbands bourbon, I gave him his valentines day present. A gift certificate for a one hour full body massage, to be redeemed the next day at 10:30am. I also gave him a book he has been wanting and a nice card. I kept waiting for a card or something more than dead roses, but nothing. Oh well. But, I got to see my favorite art piece, a funerary monument of Flavius from 100AD. I got to see my beloved Monet’s and Renoir’s. It should have been a perfect day. Okay, crappy day aside, I do admit that we had a wonderful time at the art museum. But the drive home killed any fun we may have had. On the drive home we kept hearing a squeaky sound from the back seat where the seat belt was tapping against the leather seat. In the middle of rush hour traffic on Meridian Street I hang my torso into the back to adjust the shoulder belt so it won’t tap against the seat and somehow managed to hit the seat release, which caused the back seat to spring forward, slapping me in the face so hard that it broke my glasses and almost broke my nose. So there we are, driving in bumper to bumper rush hour traffic with me holding my nose while tears stream down my face and the hubster screaming at me “What happened, what’s wrong?” Yes, people were staring. I am sure, had I been able to see, I would have been embarrassed. We made a quick stop at home to grab an ice pack, then went to the eyeglass store to have my glasses fixed.

After my glasses were fixed we picked up some lamb chops and a movie. Then we went home where I ended up cooking dinner and washing dishes on valentines day. Not cool guys, not cool at all. It’s a well known fact in our household that I do not cook on valentines day nor do I do dishes. After my domestic chores we watched the video we rented and then get ready to go to bed. Then the hubster gives me the card he had bought me that morning. I asked why he waited so long to give it and he replied that it never seemed like the perfect moment. So you wait until midnight? A very disappointing valentines day. His heart just wasn’t in it and it showed. I know he was stressed because Feb 13th was his last day at his job here in Indiana but that’s no reason to flub on valentines day. It really hurt my feelings and frankly it’s a valentines day that we will never get back.

And speaking of the husbands job, he bought his plane ticket today for Maryland. He will be leaving in 2 weeks to start his new job in Maryland while I sit here by myself with a dying dog waiting for someone to buy our house. By the time I get to Maryland his family will have already picked out our new house and decorated it. I really hope we haven’t done the wrong thing by moving back to Maryland. It’s a big concern. His family likes to be deeply rooted in all that the hubster does and it can be over whelming at times. We did talk about this tonight and he agrees that he needs to set boundaries with them. Don’t get me wrong, I love his family, I truly do. But when you’ve lived 700 miles away for the last fourteen years, it’s going to be hard to share the same sandbox if you know what I mean. So part of me is happy to be here while he goes through the overwhelming attack of family love when he first moves back to Maryland, while another part of me is quite sad to not be a part of that. Mixed feelings. That’s why they have Xanax though, right?!

Oops, Love Sucks

2008-02-14T17:15:00.000-08:00

Just to let you know, Valentines Day really blows and next year I am boycotting it. I would elaborate on my discontentment but a certain unromantic person (who buys dead roses and refuses to return them for live ones) keeps hanging over my shoulder to see what I am typing. And they say women are nosy. Hah!

Happy flipping Valentines Day...or not.

Oops, Small Towns

2008-02-11T09:48:00.000-08:00

Even though we haven’t officially sold our current house in Indiana yet, we already have a real estate agent in Maryland working for us as of this morning. I had forgotten how life in small towns work. The hubster’s new boss gave me the name of a real estate agent that he has used in the last four homes he has purchased. He didn’t have her phone number or email address on him at the time though. Meanwhile, I finished a brilliant story for publication in my new writers groups anthology. (If you will recall I’ve already joined a writers group in Maryland). The president (a swell emailer) emailed my story to the rest of the group for critique, as is the custom. Being a ~~nosy person~~ writer I looked at the details of the email to see who all of the writing group members were. Who should be the last name on the list but the real estate agent that the hubsters new boss had recommended. It gets better though. When my brother in law was here this past weekend I was telling him the story of the real estate agent being in my new writers group. He knows her too! In fact, his 2nd wife took real estate classes from this gal. What a small ~~world~~ town. I had forgotten what it was like to live in a town where everyone knows everyone else and everybody knows all of your business. Okay, I’m officially scared. But at least I have a real estate agent finding me a house in MD. Although, in looking through the comments from Dorothy, (who lives in the same general area I’ll be moving to) I think I want to use her real estate agent because she has a bay view at her new place! I was complaining to the hubster that I too want a house on Assateague Island and he said one word that shut me up immediately on that subject. Mosquitoes. Oh yes, the mosquitoes. I had forgotten that on Assateague Island the mosquitoes are known to pick up small children and fly away with them. And that’s just the small mosquitoes. You can imagine the damage the big ones do. But still…a house on Assateague! Sigh...

Oops, My Light Bulb is on

2008-02-09T13:45:00.000-08:00

A light bulb went off in my head today. Actually It was Sam’s fault. I went on her photo blog page this afternoon and a brilliant idea hit me. (Don’t worry, it didn’t leave a scar.) I have decided that when we move to Maryland (soon) I am going to start a photo blog page! I know, it’s exciting, isn’t it? Wasn’t that worth getting out of bed for? Did you know I used to be a semi-amateur freelance photographer? It’s true. I had 14 pictures on the front page of my hometown newspaper in 1992 – 1993. I would scan in a few copies of the newspaper my pictures (and photo credits) were on, but my scanner has long since been packed up and now is sitting in the storage shed in our back yard awaiting the move.

(click on image to enlarge)

One of the great things about the area of Maryland that we are moving to are the wildlife refuges they have there and the abundance of wildlife, both winged and four legged varieties. In a way I am getting anxious to start our new lives there. In another way...well...

Although, if you were a certain real estate agent, I would tell you that I would rather have this house sit empty than let you sell it. We had a showing at 2pm today. It was a scam. It was a no named real estate agent trying to drum up business. He left several of his business cards on our kitchen counter to try and steal our business from our current agent and (here is what really pissed me off) he tracked mud and leaves all over our new carpet and freshly scrubbed kitchen floor. Just left huge clods of mud and leaves there. Also, I keep a candy dish of miniature candy bars on the kitchen island. That rude ass ate every frigging candy bar out of the candy dish (a full bag) except for 2 miniature Mr. Goodbars. And you know what he did to add insult to injury? He left the candy wrappers all over the kitchen. What a rude jackass. I am still ticked off about it. I called my real estate agent and complained about it. She is going to put in the agent notes that people have t take off their shoes in our foyer from now on. I’d like to find out where Mr. Rude lives so I can go through his house throwing candy paper all over and tracking mud on the floors. Gggrrrrrr...

Oops, Local Stalker Gets Caught

2008-02-07T13:54:00.000-08:00

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There is a saying in Indiana, if you don’t like the weather, wait a minute, it will change. There is also another saying around these parts; if you don’t like the weather wait a minute and Ernestine will send the snows she is getting in Chicago to Indiana. Well I guess that is a good thing, because now the house isn’t flooded underneath anymore as all the standing water is frozen. There is the problem of residual damp mildew smell though. I’m a smart sort of cookie though, so after I got the call last night that someone wanted to show the house today at 3pm, I sped off to the Meijer and bought an odor eater candle, along with a can of febreez air freshener and every other thing I could think of to arm my aerosol against smelly smells. Doesn’t help much when you forget to spray the febreez, but at least I remembered to burn the odor eater candle for several hours before the showing. And in the kitchen I sort of took Ernestine’s advice but I twisted it a little. Instead of making chocolate chip cookies, I burned a chocolate candle (yummy!) and had a dish of assorted mini chocolate bars sitting out. Must not have worked though because they only stayed in the house ten minutes and they didn’t bother taking a brochure, disclosure statement or even one of the interactive CDs I had set out. The creepy part was when they left. I have a certain area of a nearby street in which I can sit and see our house. (my daughter knows exactly where I am talking about as she had a stalker boyfriend that used to sit there in his jeep and spy on her after they broke up). So there I am sitting, watching with interest as they get in their car and drive off. Suddenly they veered off the main street and turned down the side street I was sitting on and drove right by me! And the really embarrassing part? They slowed down as they passed my vehicle and looked right at me, eye to eye. It was pretty obvious they knew I was watching them the whole time. My cheeks are still burning. We have another showing tomorrow and one on Saturday. Maybe I shouldn’t stalk my house, eh?

Oops, The Monsoons Arrived

2008-02-06T10:16:00.000-08:00

(click on image to view my lakefront property)

There is a phenomenon here in the Midwest that arrives every late winter/early spring. It’s called the Monsoons. They arrived yesterday afternoon just like clockwork. You can pretty much count on them to be present at least several times a week for the next couple of months. So what’s a ~~shit-load~~ little bit of rain, thunder, lightening, straight line winds and tornados? Other than the fact that people don’t like to house hunt in them, what could be the harm? The harm is the mold smell in my house when it floods underneath due to the rain falling at one inch an hour all night and day. I came back from an errand this morning and the smell almost knocked me down. Seriously, it would make your eyes water. We are so screwed. I’d better get used to living here in the house by myself because I’m going to be stuck here for quite awhile.

You know though, I guess our front door mat isn’t helping us getting any house sales either.

I feel like my life is on hold because of this house crap. The hubster said he feels the same way. But he gets to move to Maryland at the end of the month. I will be stuck here…alone. It’s depressing to even contemplate. We can’t leave the house by itself though; there are just too many things that could go wrong. Not to mention how we won’t be able to afford to buy a new house until this one sells, therefore the hubster will be moving in with his brother. On one hand I am angry that the hubster took it upon himself to start this job-hunting process so soon, and subsequently the offered position, which he accepted. On the other hand I wish we had done it a couple of years ago when the market was hotter. Either way, it does no good to reflect on what could have been or should have been. I will say this, whom ever is doing that rain dance here in the Midwest, could you please stop?

I’ve joined a writers group in the town we will be living at in Maryland. Actually I have been conversing with the president all winter long, even part of the fall. I even went as far as to submit a story for the anthology they are publishing. However, I’ve promised them that I would be at the meeting in Mid-March. Doesn’t look like that will happen unless we have a miracle and the house sells. My sister in law keeps telling me that the house will be selling on February 19th. That is going to be a very anxious day for me. I know I will be sitting by the phone waiting for a call that will probably never come. I am so optimistic today.

In the midst of all the crap with the house and subsequent depression over it, there is a bright shining light in my life. My insurance pays for my chiropractic treatment for my back. No shocker there. But there is a massage therapist at the chiropractor that I go to and thrill upon thrill, my insurance pays for that too! So I have been getting an hour long full body massage once a week. It’s shear heaven! If you have never had a good massage I highly recommend it. After a massage I am so mellow and relaxed for the rest of the day. You could knock me down and snatch my purse and I would just smile and say “have a blessed day”. (don’t try to knock me down and snatch my purse though) Becky is my massage therapist’s name and she has fingers that should be insured with Lloyds of London. She is better than any Xanax or pain pill. If doctors prescribed massages instead of Xanax and valium no one would ever need to take those drugs. I was a little nervous at first. You have to take all of your clothes off, except your panties. Actually she said you can take off your panties but if you prefer to leave them on that is okay. I prefer to leave mine on. I’m shy that way. I even wear them in the shower sometimes. (no, not really).

There are other highlights in my life right now, but I have to say massages that are fully covered by your health insurance is pretty high up on the list of highlights, wouldn’t you say? Now if only I could get those monsoons to stop.

Oops, Our Neighbors Suck

2008-02-04T17:41:00.000-08:00

Our realtor tells us we are fortunate for having had 3 showings in 2 weeks time. She states that at this time of year that is practically unheard of. Then she gave us the feedback from the people that looked at our house. They all loved the house, even though one stated we had a dated floor plan. Then they all make the same statement; they have concerns about the neighborhood. Loosely translated that mean they are freaked out by the fact that the two boys across the street have had a mattress laid against the side of their house for the last six months…and...(you know it’s coming)...the self proclaimed faith healer neighbor. I took care of part of the situation. I gave the boys across the street a threat that I would call their landlord. That very night the mattress disappeared (to the back of their house). What do you do about the self proclaimed faith healer neighbor though? I suppose we could burn her house down, but they would leave the rubble there and that would be almost (yes, almost) as unsightly as their house. All we can do is hope and pray that someone will overlook the neighbors and buy our house soon. I tell you this, our next house will be in a better neighborhood. Who knew we would take such a loss just because of the creepy neighbors on this street. It’s a damned shame!

The hubster’s boss is an ass. When the hubster gave his two months notice, his boss was okay with it. Then he sat back and thought “I can save the money I am paying him for his salary and go out and buy a new fancy sports car.” And that is exactly what he did. He gave the hubster not quite 3 weeks notice that his last day would be Feb 13th. So it looks like the hubster will be starting the new job in Maryland sooner than we thought. I, however, will be staying here at the house until this pile of bricks is sold. It’s so depressing to even think about so I try not to. I just wish someone would hurry up and buy our house so I could move too. But with neighbors like we have, I’m screwed. Damn...

Oops, It's For Sale

2008-01-23T13:03:00.000-08:00

It’s official. Our home is up for sale. The sign is in the yard, the info is on the internet and I am waiting for people to start beating down the door to see our lovely home with all it’s new carpeting. At this moment in time I just want to see our home ASAP and get the hell out of Indy and start a new life on the East Coast. When we get to the East Coast I know I will be kicking myself for moving and I’ll be missing my house and Indy so bad that I’ll cry a river.

If you want to see pictures of my house with all it’s lovely brand new carpeting, follow this link:
Daisy’s House Pictures

Oops, The Tag Police Are Coming

2008-01-20T09:32:00.000-08:00

(Click on above image to enlarge)

Have you ever seen those tags on your mattress or pillow that says “do not remove under penalty of law”? I have to admit, I don’t remove those tags. Somewhere in the back of my mind I am afraid that the mattress police are going to come and take me away to a 4x6 prison and feed me only stake bread and tepid water. I sort of feel that way about other material things in my life as well. For instance, my laptop. I have had this particular laptop for over a year and I still have not taken the advertising stickers off the front of it. If you have a laptop you know the sort of stickers I am talking about. They are the stickers that advertise to the buyers the fabulous delights that the laptop has to offer. Turion64 technology! Lightscribe! 100gig hard-drive! Buy me, buy me, buy me! As I sit here typing this, I am waiting for a knock on the door from the tag police. Yes, I have finally removed the advertising tags from my laptop. I keep waiting for alarms to go off and unmarked police cars to come to a screeching halt in the driveway. So, if you never hear from me again, you will know the tag police came to take me away. Hmmm….I wonder f they give you butter with your stake bread?

Oops, New Carpet

2008-01-15T05:29:00.000-08:00

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It’s always been my experience that when the carpet installer shows up at your door giving you excuses from the very beginning, you are pretty much screwed and not in a nice dinner and flowers sort of way. (I’ve been reading too many romance books, but I digress). Yesterday morning a van pulled up in the driveway and dumped all of our new carpet on our driveway in the snow. Then this beat up caddy pulls up and out steps the carpet installer’s wife. Seems the carpet installer had been in a bad accident that weekend so she was filling in for him. That would have been fine, but SHE SUCKED! I asked her at 1pm how much more they had to do, as I was trying to gage if I was going to make a certain appt or not. At least a couple of hours she said. No problem. I can deal with that. Thirty minutes later she comes to me and says “I’m done.” Wouldn’t you be concerned? I couldn’t really see the carpet because of all the scraps on the floor. But after vacuuming I was clearly able to see the very poor done seam in my bedroom and in each of the doorways. And there was the fact that she didn’t even bring the 6 feet of metal striping that we had bought. Some areas looked like they had raw edges. Why did we pay an additional $38 for metal striping to go in the bathroom doorway and by the kitchen? I don’t know but I would like my $38 back. That would just about pay for one really nice lunch for my BFF and I. I ask her to look at the seam as she is leaving. “Oh all seams look like that” she explains. “It takes about a month before you can’t see them anymore.” Okay, but how does that explain the piece that is coming up in one corner of my bedroom? I called the owner after she left and he is coming over this morning with “an installer” to finish up the job right. One thing that really concerns me though is the large amount of carpet left. Seriously there is enough left to do our dining room and still have lots left over. I’m not going to do our dining room though, as they are hardwood floors. But you get my point, we paid for a lot of extra carpet that we won’t use. Money down the drain. It’s a shame that all this happened because the carpet looks super awesome. I just wish it had been laid correctly.

So in the middle of all that, I go to my chiropractor appointment yesterday afternoon. I started going there about a month after my car accident. Yesterdays appointment was with their massage therapist who was supposed to “manipulate” the scar from my spinal fusion. I was thinking it would only be about fifteen minutes at the most. Imagine my surprise (and delight) when I found out it was actually a full body massage for an hour. By the time I left there I didn’t care how bad my carpet seams looked. And the best part? My medical insurance paid every penny of it. I didn’t even have a co-pay! Sometimes life can be pretty darned good, eh?

Oops, I’ve got a secret

2008-01-13T11:13:00.000-08:00

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I’ve been keeping a secret. And you thought I couldn’t keep a secret didn’t you? Hah! Silly reader, of course I can keep a secret. Of course I did have to tell my writing group, and my BFF, and my neighbors, and my doctor, and the clerk at Hobby Lobby and of course you guys. But I swear, I can keep a secret! What’s the secret? Well you already know (even though I CAN keep a secret) but I’ll say it again anyway. The hubster has been considering a job on the East Coast near our hometown in Maryland. He wanted to keep everything under wraps until the deal was sealed. I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone. He didn’t even want to tell his mother or our kids to know, or anyone. I was fortunate he told me! Now the secret can be told because when we went to Maryland over New Years, the hubster officially accepted a position with a company on the East Coast. So we will be moving within two months. It wouldn’t be so bad if we were renting our home. But we own it so therefore have been busting our backs prepping it for sale. The “For Sale” sign goes up in the front yard next Friday.

Since we have lived in this house for twelve years you can imagine the massive amounts of junk ~~I’ve~~ we’ve amassed. Being a recently reformed shop-a-holic hasn’t helped matters any either. I swear I was going to get around to fitting in those size 6 jeans one of these days (I am far from a size 6), and they were 75% off when I bought them 8 years ago so it would have been a crime not to have bought them. Don’t you agree? And how could I pass up buying the five Christmas trees over the last several years? Okay, I bought three of them after last Christmas. But come on, I mean, we had to have the 7foot tree in the living room, but then the TV room would have looked bare if we hadn’t bought the 4 ft red tinsel tree for it. And the 4 ft green tinsel tree was 90% off so they practically paid me to buy it. And you know my granddaughter really wanted a small tree in her room here to make her surroundings look festive. And then there was the tree I bought for the den. One of these Christmas’s I’ll get around to putting all those trees up at holiday time, I will! And don’t get me started on chicken. Yes, chicken. The hubster swears I am a collector of chicken. But when they have boneless skinless chicken breasts on sale for $1.99 a pound, how can you not buy twenty packages? As it stands right now we have about thirty packages of boneless, skinless chicken breasts in the freezer. I guess I am a collector of chicken.

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So with the upcoming move I have been instructed not to purchase any after Christmas bargains. I tried, I really did. I held firm to my promise and didn’t go to Hobby Lobby after Christmas, not even when I got the insider email stating that everything was 80% off. But today when I went to Meijer’s I couldn’t help myself. All Christmas items were 90% off! I didn’t want to buy anything but I was forced too because everything was practically free. So I was really being frugal by purchasing ten boxes of Christmas cards (one of them Hanukah even though we aren’t Jewish. But you never know when you might want to send a holiday greeting to a Jewish friend), four assorted mismatched Christmas stockings, a snowman wreath missing only one eye and his carrot nose, a sheep Christmas ornament, five slightly smooshed bags of bows, three large wrapping paper assortments, a Dannica Patrick Christmas mug, and (drumroll please) a 6 foot tall snowman lawn ornament.

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I brought my loot home secure in the fact that I could easily find an “out of the way” place to stash all my ~~junk~~ treasures. But with “decluttering” our home for sale and packing up everything considered nonessential, I didn’t count on the fact that there isn’t an out of the way place to ~~hide~~ place my purchases. So I did what any red blooded reformed shop-a-holic wife would do. I ~~hid~~ stored them in my teenage sons bedroom closet. I am, after all, female and you know how highly intelligent females are (we think with both sides of our brains you know). What I forgot in all the hubbub was that we are having new carpet put in all the bedrooms on Monday. So the hubster (who only thinks with one side of his brain) has to pull up all the carpet in the bedrooms (and the bedroom closets) this weekend. Wouldn’t you know he started with my teenage sons bedroom today. I suddenly remembered this flaw in my plan about an hour ago when I heard a loud “what the hell?” coming from my sons closet. Oh crud. I thought quickly though and rapidly answered “what the heck has that boy bought now?” Yes, when in doubt blame the teenager. Sometimes thinking with both sides of the brain is a good thing.

Oops, Too Much Info

2008-01-10T13:07:00.000-08:00

The biggest oops of all? Googling your old high school flame and finding his name on the sex offender registry. I don't think I want to look up any more high school flames. In fact, I'm not sure I want to move back to my hometown anymore. Speaking of the old hometown, our flight home was uneventful even though I had gotten the worst cold in the world while in Maryland. But once we landed the hell began. We left almost 70 degree temps to come home to 7 degrees here in the Midwest and a full blown snow storm. The topper? A dead car battery in the airport parking lot. It took us 3 hours to get home after our plane landed. What a nightmare.

One of the joys of my hometown was sharing the worlds best sub with Jas. If you are ever on the East Coast try a Red Door sub and a birch beer. You won't be sorry. Hmmm....moving back to my hometown is suddenly sounding better!

Oops, It’s a East Coast New Year

2007-12-31T12:21:00.000-08:00

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We arrived safely in Maryland and have been spending the last couple of days having fun in between house hunting. This was Jas’s first plane ride and they gave her wings and a certificate on the plane. She was thrilled and says she wants to fly everywhere from now on. Sunday we went to the Boardwalk in Ocean City to get word famous Thrashers french fries (which we promptly drenched in apple cider vinegar as is the custom), but it was so cold and rainy that we didn’t spend much time actually walking the boards. Instead we went into Playland, which is this awesome arcade with all sorts of fun games for kids and adults. They give you tickets for winning the games and you later trade the tickets in for prizes. We must have been pretty good at the games because we ended up with 292 tickets. Jas had a great time redeeming them for all sorts of cheap junk.

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Today the hubster had to work at his new job so Jas and I went to the local zoo, the mall and the graveyard. An odd choice of amusements I know. I like to visit my grandparents when I come to town, and since they are six feet under at the local cemetery, that’s where I had to go. All in all it was a fun day. We have told Jas that we are planning on moving here and after spending Sunday at Ocean City and Assategue Island we have her official seal of approval.

Have a happy and safe New Year. See ya’ll in 2008!

Oops, It's Most Farted

2007-12-28T12:36:00.000-08:00

And now for your viewing pleasure, I present the scariest spin-off of Most Haunted to date – Most Farted. Not for the weak of stomach I assure you.

So enjoy kiddies while I finish packing my suitcase for our trip to the East Coast tonight.

Oops, Santa's Coming

2007-12-24T18:12:00.000-08:00

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After a long hard day of shopping, cooking and cleaning, the annual Daisy family Christmas Eve gift exchange and buffet was a rousing success. Now that all the family and friends have gone, all that is left to do is sit and wait for Santa Claus to come sliding down the chimney.

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Merry Christmas to you and yours from me and mine.